by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© November 2013, The Center For Development
This article is divided into physical healing, emotional healing, mental healing and spiritual healing of rape.
A nutritional balancing program is almost essential for anyone who has experienced rape. No other nutritional or other type of physical healing program is as good, in my experience. A nutritional balancing program can:
1. Get rid of the nutritional imbalances that occur.
2. Remove toxic metals that enter the body during a rape, and that were there before.
3. Renourish and heal the brain and nervous system.
4. Help the nervous system and brain work better so that you get mental clarity and can better process and resolve what has occurred.
5. Increase overall vitality, strength and energy.
6. Get rid of brain fog.
7. Heal the vaginal and other infections with peroxide and ozone baths. This is explained in detail later in this article.
NB is a newer method of physical healing that has been amazingly helpful for at least 500 women and many men, as well, who have experienced rape. It is unique because it is not an analytical or insight technique, as is most counseling. Instead, it is a bio-energetic method for ridding the body of toxic metals, infections and other imbalances that is very powerful and sophisticated. This means that it works by increasing energy in the body, which allows all other healing to take place. Without this extra energy boost, healing is always slower.
NB also improves brain functioning tremendously. When this happens, many people are able to process their traumas, including rape, easily and fairly painlessly. This allows some people to eventually clear the trauma completely. This method is nutritional balancing science.
When combined with excellent chiropractic, practicing forgiveness and gratitude, and perhaps other methods discussed later in this article, the results are very good. Let us explore each of these methods in more detail.
1. A NUTRITIONAL BALANCING PROGRAM
The unique and essential features of a nutritional balancing program always include:
a. Lots of rest, including going to bed by 9 PM each day, or even earlier, if possible.
b. A fairly strict diet that is about 70-80% cooked vegetables and some animal-quality protein daily. You must eat red meat – lamb or chuck (a rather cheap and fatty cut of beef) at least three times a week or maybe more, at first, if you were dried out or whipped.
c. Drinking up to 3 quarts of water daily – but only spring water and no other type!
d. Specific supplements, and not other supplements.
e. Two detoxification procedures that are often amazingly helpful – coffee enemas and near infrared lamp saunas. Another are the oxygen baths, but not too many and just for up to one year, at most.
f. A particular mental exercise.
g. Daily foot reflexology.
h. The daily spinal twist.
i. Carrot juice – but only 10-12 ounces daily.
Why is nutritional balancing so powerful? I am not sure why it works so well. However, here are a few thoughts about it:
Many of the physical effects of rape such as fatigue, depression, anxiety, weakness, irritability and others have a nutritional basis. In fact, all types of trauma, along with infections that result from rape, and depletion of the sexual fluids of a woman or a man cause nutritional deficiencies. The latter are quite severe and not easy to correct simply with a diet and/or nutritional supplements.
As a result, a rape is almost always a nutritional disaster. I know this is the case because when a person’s body chemistry is properly strengthened and balanced, many of the physical and emotional effect of the rape disappear. This occurs regardless of whether a person goes for counseling, or does any other type of rehabilitation or therapy.
Beware that other nutritionally-based programs do not work nearly as well. This may be because nutritional balancing is quite subtle and balances the body, rather than just giving it nutrients. This difference is important. I have not found a more powerful method to undo traumas than a complete nutritional balancing program. Several articles on this website such as Introduction To Nutritional Balancing describe nutritional balancing in more detail. For more on the general subject of trauma release, read Trauma Release on this website.
MODIFICATIONS OF THE NUTRITIONAL BALANCING PROGRAM
When you send in your hair sample to one of the Approved Practitioners to begin a nutritional balancing program, you may need a “trauma program”. This is usually needed only if one is under tremendous stress right now.
A trauma program involves a few more supplement tablets, such as more Megapan, more adrenal and thyroid support, more zinc, and more Paramin.
To begin a nutritional balancing program, click here.
A TEMPORARY OR EMERGENCY NUTRITION PROGRAM
Here are a few simple things to do immediately that will start the healing process.
1. Realize that rape depletes one nutritionally in all cases. This occurs through a loss of vital sexual fluids, psychological shock and perhaps in other ways. In other words, in large part, the devastating effects of rape are nutritional, though they may be subtle, at times.
2. Eat 70% cooked vegetables (few salads), and some animal protein every day.
3. Be sure to eat at least three or more portions of red meat each week. Lamb or beef are the best. This is quite essential in almost all cases. If you have difficulty eating red meat, here are few suggestions:
a. Try eating it alone or maybe with just one cooked vegetable. Do not mix it with a lot of food, especially grains or fruit. Just have two lamb chops, perhaps, or a small steak or a hamburger patty without the bun, for example.
b. Always take a digestive aid with it. The best contain ox bile and pancreatin. Take plenty of it – often 2 or 3 tablets are best.
c. Rest after eating red meat. Do not immediately resume your daily activities. Wait at least half an hour, if at all possible.
d. Eat it preferably at lunch time rather than at dinner or breakfast. Your digestion is strongest at this time. An exception is if you are at work and only have a short time to eat and no time to rest afterwards. In this case, it may be best to have it at dinner or at least after work, but not too late at night.
e. It is fine to have four or five smaller meals with the red meat as one of them. This is much better than eating one or two large meals, or snacking all day.
f. Beef jerky can be used as a nutritious red meat snack.
g. Never overcook meats of any kind – light cooking is best to kill the germs and that is about all that is needed.
h. Eggs are also good, but not as good as red meat a few times a week. Always cook eggs and meat lightly only. Do not hard boil eggs, for example, or bake them in quiche. Eat them soft boiled or poached only.
In addition, eat 3-4 cans of sardines weekly if you can tolerate them. Add mustard, cream, other sauce or even mayonnaise, if needed, to make them more palatable. Any brand will work but the best are those with the skin and bones.
Also, avoid the nightshade vegetables (potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant and peppers) and avoid artichokes, mushrooms, okra and most celery as well, as these are too yin.
3. Avoid all wheat, all fruit and sweets, and most or all bread. These foods will tend to make things worse.
4. Drink spring water only. Tap water filtered with carbon only is second best, but not as good, especially if it contains fluorides. Never drink distilled water, reverse osmosis water or alkaline waters, which are more yin and often low or deficient in minerals, and this cannot be fixed by adding minerals to them.
5. Use sea salt liberally on your food. Do not put salt in water, however, as this can be lethal.
6. While an individualized supplement and diet program based on a properly performed and correctly interpreted hair tissue mineral analysis is by far the best, here are some basic supplements that help most people to a degree.
Beware that some supplements will bring up your anger and rage, so always start slowly and gently with them. Those that bring up anger the most are kelp capsules from Nature’s Way or Solaray, and selenium. Others that can do it are B-complex vitamins, thyroid and adrenal glandular supplements, stimulant herbs, copper, and at times vitamins C and E, and a product we use called Limcomin.
Here are the basic supplements to get started with:
A. Calcium and magnesium: About 1000 mg calcium and about 600 to 650 mg of magnesium are all that are needed in most cases.
B. Kelp from Nature’s Way or Solaray (other brands may not work as well): 5000 to 6000 mg daily. This is a lot! Start with less and work up as you can. Take less if you feel badly on it. Many women report it is very helpful.
C. B-complex vitamins: about 50 mg per day of the B-complex vitamins are needed in most cases.
D. Vitamin C: 1000 mg daily. Do not be tempted to do more, even if it makes you feel better. It is too yin with more, in most cases, except maybe for a very short time.
E. Zinc: up to 120 mg daily. This can be very helpful in some, but not all cases. Reduce the amount if needed, as too much can worsen some cases of depression after rape.
F. Copper: This is variable. Most people who experience rape need about 2 mg daily. However, some may need less, and a few may need more.
G. Dried vegetable capsules (brands are many such as Endo-Veggies, or others): 6 to 9 capsules daily. However, stay away from any green food or vegetable capsules that have spirulina as chlorella as primary ingredients, and avoid those that have “fruit blends” as ingredients at all. This is very important, as these are not helpful as they are too yin.
H. Glandulars including adrenal, thyroid, and kidney: take 6 tablets or capsules daily if possible. If you feel jittery on them, take less.
I. If you do not want to eat 3 cans of sardines weekly, then you must take 1000 mg daily of mega-3 fatty acids and 5000 iu daily of vitamin D3.
J. Vitamin E: up to 400 iu daily. More is usually not helpful. This is not as critical as some of the others.
DO NOT TAKE OTHER VITAMINS, MINERALS, NATURAL HORMONES, HOMEOPATHY OR CHELATION THERAPY. THESE ARE OFTEN NOT HELPFUL AND CAN BE DANGEROUS FOR THOSE WHO EXPERIENCE RAPE BY FURTHER DEPLETING THEM NUTRITIONALLY IN SUBTLE WAYS, OR BY MAKING THEM MORE YIN.
VERY HELPFUL OR PERHAPS ESSENTIAL PHYSICAL PROCEDURES ASSOCIATED WITH NUTRITIONAL BALANCING
1. Infrared light sauna therapy. The use of a near infrared lamp sauna or even a far infrared sauna, though it is not as good as a lamp sauna, can relax you and help you heal much faster, in our experience. Use it preferably twice or even three times every day for about half an hour to 45 minutes. Never overdo, however, with more time or more sessions, as this can deplete other minerals in the body and make things worse. For more on this, read Sauna Therapy on this website. This article also has a link for free plans to build a near infrared light sauna for yourself.
2. Coffee enemas. For some reason, these are reported to be very helpful. They may replenish some nutrients, and they get rid of some toxins from the liver. Read Coffee Enemas for more on this important procedure.
3. Foot reflexology daily. You must press firmly or hard all over the foot. The reflex areas to the vagina and uterus are located below and behind the ankle bones, on both sides of both feet. Always do this part of the foot, too. Also, always rub the toes firmly, all over, and also rub the top of the feet as well.
Rape often disturbs the brain architecture, which is the positioning of the brain within the head. This can be corrected with a specific reflexology routine. For more on this topic, please read Brain Architecture and Reflexology on this site.
4. The Roy Masters meditation, and no other. This is also essential, and you must use my modification of it, which just emphasizes sending energy downward from head to feet. You need not start with this, as it may be more difficult, but add it in, as it is very, very healing. Read the article on this site called Meditation For Healing.
5. The neck pull. Lie down comfortably on a bed or on the floor on your back, with no pillow under your head. Now try to lengthen your neck as much as you can by moving your neck and head away from the body and, at the same time, move your arms and shoulders downward toward your feet. If you do this right, the neck will suddenly “pop” or crack slightly each time you lengthen or extend the neck. Do this at least 10 times daily or more. Provided you do it sensibly, you cannot overdo on it too easily, so do not worry about this possibility, in my experience.
6. The jolt. While lying down on your back on a bed or on the floor, do the first exercise above. Then, with your neck extended, jolt the whole body downward, meaning from the head toward the feet. To do this, start with your arms and legs and sort of pull them downward toward the feet.. The rest of the body should follow, and the whole body should jerk in a direction toward your feet. This can literally help reset the nervous system in some way.
7. The ozone and peroxide bath or a high-pressure sauna with ozone. This is to get rid of STDs, but it also helps most people feel much better, as well.
2. CHIROPRACTIC OR OSTEOPATHIC MANIPULATION AND THE SPINAL TWIST DAILY
Most rape causes a pronounced twist or severe subluxation of the spine. This often produces obvious symptoms such as back pain, leg pain, stiffness, trouble walking or even standing, or perhaps neck tightness. However, even if no symptoms are obvious, rape often twists the spine in unusual ways. This may be due to the physical act itself, to a tensing of the body during a rape, or for other reasons such as peculiar nutritional imbalances that result from rape.
Correction is not that easy. It is essential that anyone who is raped visit a competent chiropractor or osteopath to attempt to restore and rebalance the spine. I say attempt to restore the spine because it is not easy. The spine cannot be corrected in one chiropractic or osteopathic visit, in my experience, and usually it persists for years. Many chiropractors and osteopaths are also afraid to work on women who were raped, as they don’t quite know how to undo the damage. The reason seems to be that the subluxations are deep, and often affect the entire spine. In this case, don’t worry. There is another method that is often better than any chiropractor, sadly, and it is described below.
The Daily Spinal Twist. This wonderful procedure is part of every nutritional balancing program. It is fully described in an article on this website entitled How To Help Correct Your Spine. Anyone who experiences rape must do it every day, preferably several times daily. Do it gently if you must, but do it. Slowly point the toes and stretch the spine a little more and more, and one day it will let go.
Do not worry about your back. Just keep doing the spinal twist procedure several times daily, stretching the spine gently as you can. One day it will let go. You must be doing the entire nutritional balancing program with it, however, as this will help you relax, rebuild and feel better about yourself as well.
3. NATURAL METHODS TO HEAL STDS
1. Freshly squeezed garlic juice only for RECENT STDs (contracted up to 1 week before only). This is the best remedy I know of for early-stage sexually-transmitted infections from any cause at all, even an infected hot tub or toilet seat. It helps most of them, though not all.
To do it right, you will need the following:
a. Garlic. Buy at least 10 large, fresh garlic bulbs at the supermarket. They need not be organically grown, though they might be stronger that way.
b. A garlic press. These are sold at the supermarket, or in the kitchen section of a hardware or department store.
c. Measuring cup. You will need a 1-cup or 2-cup measuring cup or at least a mug or glass to hold the garlic juice.
d. Applicators. Get a dozen or so large Q-TipsŮ or cotton applicators. Or make some applicators by getting a dozen wooden sticks or even metal ends of large spoons or dinner knives, and buy a package of 1-inch cotton balls.
If you are making the applicators, wrap the wooden or metal sticks with a ball of cotton on the end. Glue the cotton to the stick, or perhaps hold it on firmly on with tight rubber bands. The cotton tip must be about 1 inch or 2 centimeters across to swab the vagina well.
5. Ideally, get hold of a vaginal speculum. It is not absolutely needed but makes things easier.
6. A powerful flashlight.
7. A Mirror. if you are doing it yourself, you will also need a good mirror, preferably on a stand so you can position it and let go of it.
Now you are ready to go. Separate the garlic bulb into cloves. You need not peel the garlic cloves. Squeeze the juice out with your garlic press. Squeeze it into a measuring cup or glass. You will need about 4 ounces or more.
Now you are ready to dip the cotton tip in the fresh garlic juice. You must dab the fresh juice liberally on the infected area of the vagina or other parts of the body. I do not know why it works so well, but it does. It is non-toxic, unlike antibiotics and anti-viral drugs, and it often works excellently. It must be applied several times daily in good amounts on the affected areas.
Proper use of fresh-squeezed garlic juice often requires a second person such as a female nurse who will examine the inside of the vagina with a powerful flashlight to find all traces of infected, abnormal or even just bruised tissue, and apply the garlic juice directly to these areas. One need not use massive quantities of garlic juice, as in a douche, and indeed this does not seem to work quite as well, anyway.
2. The ozone and peroxide bath. This is for STDs and all other infections, and works well. To do this bath, add about one cup of 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide to a bath. The bath should be quite hot, but it need not cover more than your legs. That is plenty.
Also, you must buy an ozone generator and run the tube from the generator into the bath. To get rid of STDs, put the end of the tube deep into the vagina and just relax for half an hour and allow the ozone and peroxide to do their germ-killing job. Then get out of the bath and do not rinse off. Just get dressed.
Too much peroxide will cause a burning sensation in the vagina. If this occurs, add a little hot water to dilute the peroxide.
Do not repeat the bath more than about 3 times weekly, as too many baths are too yin in macrobiotic terms. Also, most people do not need these baths after about 1 year of use.
A complete nutritional balancing program can often eradicate sexually transmitted diseases, even those of long standing. If an infection began more than a week prior to applying the garlic, it may have spread throughout the body. In this case, the garlic may not do much. In these cases, however, a nutritional balancing program with sauna therapy and coffee enemas daily will slowly reduce most infections in the body of all types.
This is more difficult than one may believe, as they all tend to become systemic and chronic with time. It often takes several years, in my experience, to eradicate them from the organs of the body, but it can be done. In fact, it occurs routinely if one follows the entire nutritional balancing program.
4. OTHER HEALING METHODS FOR RAPE
1. To prevent another rape, remember that Christ protects against rape and you can always invoke the power of Christ and some, though not all rapists will stop. They do not want to tangle with Christ. This may sound strange, but many women, in particular, and a few men report that it works.
A problem with a few Christian rape recovery programs. I do not mean to impugn the motives of anyone who seeks to assist others. However, I would warn against something called women’s private “touching groups”. This is an odd practice in which some churches tell women who have experienced rape that they should undress together in a very private and safe place, and take turns touching each other’s private parts, mainly for fun and mutual pleasure. The idea is that it is a kind of chummy, fun substitute for regular sex.
This is a disgusting, satanic idea that heals nothing and spreads disease terribly, because the women often lick their finger and then touch another woman’s vaginal area with it. Also, some women report that it is too much touching and homosexual sex, and very bad. I would warn against this practice, although some women may enjoy it.
2. The correct type of mental concentration practice. We find that the Roy Masters concentration exercise with the modification of forcefully moving energy downward from the top of the head into the right hand, and later into both hands and both feet, is extremely helpful. Rape is a situation in which energy is moved upwards forcefully in most cases. This type of mental exercise, and only this type, reverses that direction and moves energy in a healthy downward direction. For more on this interesting topic, read Meditation For Healing and Downward Moving Energy And Healing on this website.
3. Religious prayer and religiously-based lifestyles. This can be very helpful for some women and men. Here are three ways people do this:
A. Many Christian, Jewish and Buddhist organizations, among others, are willing and able to help those who have experienced rape. Some provide excellent spiritual counseling, for example, which can be better than regular counseling. They may also help with medical services, employment, and even help single young women find a good mate. The person may be encouraged to eat red meat several times a week and to live a clean, wholesome lifestyle. One is usually encouraged to join the group, in most cases, and this can be a good idea.
B. Entering a convent or monastery. This is a very protected and controlled environment that helps some who have been through a bad rape. This can work well for some people. The problems with this solution are 1) it may be difficult to function normally in society, hold a job, etc. and 2) convents and monasteries have strict rules that one must follow.
However, if one is willing and able to follow the rules, this is definitely a safer environment in almost all cases, though not all. I have to say this, that some monasteries and convents are not that safe, so enquire and be careful if you want to consider this option.
C. Many people privately turn to God, the bible or other spiritual material after a rape for guidance. They do not need to join a particular church. Perhaps they read the bible on their own, or other spiritual books for comfort, insight and guidance on how to live and how to proceed. This can be very helpful for most people.
4. Learning about forgiveness and practicing it daily is always helpful. Forgiving means letting go of your anger, hatred and other grudges against everyone, no matter how they behaved.
Forgiving does not mean condoning the behavior, nor does it mean that the woman did something wrong. It simply means that holding on to the trauma with its anger, hatred and resentment, is not worth it and only makes one worse. It also means that one accepts that we sometimes do not understand why such things happen.
One must make sure to forgive not only the rapist, but also others who were involved, such as one’s parents, perhaps, who should have protected one. For some reason, women often blame their mother in rape cases.
It also means forgiving all men, all penises, all sexuality, and even letting go of general anger toward the world. This is a tall order, I realize, but absolutely essential. Good counseling may help, especially if it is all about forgiveness, not about who did what and how horrible it was. This is a given and need not be discussed ad nauseum. Some counselors, however, believe in rehashing the horror, and I find this is rarely helpful.
Among the most important person to forgive may be yourself. This may also be the most difficult. Many women continue to torture themselves, asking why they let a certain man into their lives, why they attended a certain meeting or party that fateful night, if or why they dressed immodestly, and so on. It is best to learn your lessons, and move on.
Under the law of grace, you are forgiven by God for everything that you have done or not done. This is an absolute truth, with no exceptions, no matter how bad you were or someone else behaved. In truth, no one is perfect, you will find. Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of blaming yourself, be glad you are still alive to talk about it, try to help others, and not focus on your own misery. Others have it worse, no matter how bad your situation was or is.
Spiritual aspects of forgiveness. If possible, remember that you are not just a physical being. The body was raped, but the soul and the spirit remain pure, with God, untouched and as pure as ever. This is the truth, by the way, not just fancy words or phrases. This realization is often absolutely needed in order to complete the forgiveness process.
5. Letting go of victim thinking. An important and difficult step for many who experience a rape is to let go of all thoughts of victimhood. You may think this is crazy. “How can I think otherwise”, you may ask. You can.
You can learn to believe that God, or other forces greater than ourselves, are always in command of our lives and we are dependent upon Him, or on whomever or whatever is in charge such as the angels or Jesus, for our lives.
Occasionally, situations are brought to our lives that are horrible, for reasons we cannot understand but must somehow accept, as difficult as it may be. You may come to believe that your soul and your spirit somehow agreed to the rape, although the reasons why may not be clear right now.
This awareness must be learned in an honest, not a phony way, without feeling guilty and without brushing the whole episode aside and trying to bury it alive.
Letting go of the victim mentality is critical, at some juncture, because victims cannot forgive fully. One must leave the victim consciousness at the door, so to speak, and enter a realm of full awareness and full responsibility for your body and your actions, even if what happened does not make any sense to the logical mind.
You must also eventually learn that you are spirit, not body, at your core. Spirit is untouched, pure, whole, and not violated. You are here on earth to learn a few lessons and help others to live better lives as well. So it is time to get on with your mission and your life. Indeed, it is time to use your rape as a springboard to move you ahead much faster than you otherwise would have done.
When viewed this way, rape can move a woman or man forward in her life in wonderful ways. She or he may:
Į Let go of stupid, dangerous, or perhaps superficial and flirty behaviors.
Į Learn to appreciate life in new ways.
Į Use the incident to assist others in some way. It might be by changing the rape laws to make punishment more harsh, or perhaps teaching young women and girls how to avoid these problems, or helping to teach parents how to protect their children properly.
Į Learn to appreciate a good partner who will love you properly. He might be a little boring, but that is far superior to the more handsome, exciting players and sexually aggressive ones who may have caused or contributed to a rape.
Į Experiencing rape undoes some of what is called karmic debts, or injustices you have done to others in your distant past, which you often do not recall. Nutritional balancing programs do the same thing, so they cause a little, but not a lot of suffering.
Į Many other wise and wonderful outcomes are available to those who make a conscious decision to forgive, move on, and start life over in a better way.
RAPE IS AN EMPTYING PROCESS. It depletes a person nutritionally, energetically, and in other ways. When understood properly, you will see that emptying you is a good thing, as it empties out a lot of egocentric and superficial aspects of yourself. Spiritual development requires that you be empty of self to you can be filled with the spirit of God. Rape can hasten this process along. It can help a person to know that he or she can handle feeling empty inside, which is necessary to receive God or the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. In fact, one must become comfortable with the empty feeling. Some Christian writers express this as learning to “die every day” to the ego self, so that you can become alive in Christ or alive in spirit.
6. Learning about gratitude and practicing it daily. This is also necessary and powerful to overcome rape, or any serious trauma. Gratitude is the notion that it could have been worse - which is always the case. So focus on this good aspect, rather than any negative aspect.
One always has a choice to look on the dark side or the bright side of any incident or condition. You can harbor anger, feel sorry for yourself, or turn the anger inward and allow it to become depression. On the other hand, you can be grateful that you survived and can move on, and perhaps assist others to prevent such crimes and/or recover better.
7. Learn about grace. The word gratitude is related to grace. Grace is the undeserved and unearned love of the Creator for you. After a trauma, many people focus on the negative aspects of it, and cannot believe that it was grace operating. Yet the grace of God is there for you, and we are admonished to accept this Grace into our lives. It will heal all things, if you allow it and realize its presence in your life.
Counseling after a rape can be very good or less helpful, depending on the counselor. It is usually excellent to confide in someone about a rape, but be careful whom you tell, whether it be a family member, friend or professional counselor.
For example, an incompetent counselor or unsympathetic friend or family member can make you feel worse. One client told me that after telling her counselor about her violent rape, the counselor questioned the truth of the story. The woman became so discouraged she decided she just could not tell anyone else about it and instead she just became depressed and withdrew from the world.
Another problem with some counselors or others you may talk with are those that encourage you to stay angry and even to exact revenge. While getting in touch with anger is good, holding onto anger and thinking thoughts of revenge can get a person killed, and certainly does not lead to forgiveness and full healing.
Christian counselors are often the best, but may need to be experienced to understand rape, so use caution with all counselors.
6. OTHER METHODS
1. Rebounding. Using a rebounder or mini-trampoline can be a helpful exercise, according to our clients.
2. The use of a vibration table is also helpful, in some cases. This is a small platform that one stands upon and holds on with a handle while the platform gently vibrates up and down. It helps center and ground a person. Unfortunately, the vibration tables are quite costly. The Roy Masters meditation exercise is probably as good or better, though this machine may help.
3. Walking each day slowly for about half an hour can be extremely helpful, according to women’s reports. I am not sure why. If you are afraid to walk alone, walk with a male friend.
4. Use of surrogates and more advanced methods or healing rape. Some counselors suggest that women find a male partner, in some cases, because some women have a strong desire for sexual activity after a rape. Be careful with this. It is often more about satisfying a craving rather than healing.
However, a possible exception is that there are a few men who can offer what I will call top-down sex, which is most helpful, according to several of our women clients. It is quite special and involves moving energy down the woman’s body, not up, as happens with most sex. This is a rather technical topic beyond the scope of this article, but I will write about it more in the future. The point here is just to know it exists and, in some cases, is helpful. Otherwise, avoid surrogates, I would suggest.
The other exception is the use of psycho-drama. This is a psychological concept in which one acts out scenes that are scary, and yet remains firmly in control. This can often allow one to psychologically process the event much better. This requires a trained therapist, and carries some danger, but can work well.
PROBLEMS DURING THE HEALING OF RAPE
During the healing process following a rape, one may go through what is called retracing or a purification process. This is very important to know about beforehand. Essentially, one processes the trauma and often you must see it clearly, reframe it, at times, and forgive and let go of the entire thing. As part of this process, the following often occurs:
1. Intense anger surfaces that is very disturbing. Almost every person who experiences rape reports this. One may wish to kill the man who raped one, or kill all men, perhaps. One may be filled with murderous thoughts, and thoughts of revenge.
These feelings are normal and must be dealt with calmly. This does not mean to act on them. In most cases, they will go away as one heals at deeper levels.
2. One can become very tired, perhaps for months. This may have to do with processing the rape in the mind, and it may have to do with biochemical and nutritional adjustments. One must rest more at these times, and not try to just “push through” the fatigue, as this may not work well, and certainly slows progress.
3. You may develop temporary physical or emotional symptoms. Anger, as described above, is just one of them. You may retrace or experience other feelings, such as intense fear, anxiety, stomach aches, back aches or other symptoms. These may be directly related to the rape, or they can be adjustment symptoms as your body restores itself.
Regardless of the cause, they can be very annoying. While one is always free to visit medical doctors, I suggest first discussing such symptoms of all kinds with your nutritional balancing practitioner. Often medical drugs are not helpful or warranted. Most symptoms will pass in their own time if they are handled correctly. Reassurance is often all that is needed, along with perhaps natural remedies, at times, to reduce their intensity.
4. Details about a rape may surface that are disgusting or otherwise horrible. Staying in denial and insisting that these things are not true or did not happen can, in fact, stop the healing process. One must just allow these details to surface and they will generally pass. One need not dwell on them or wallow in them, either. Just observe them, if possible, from a neutral place. The Roy Masters meditation exercise is excellent to assist this process.
5. Your relationships, family situation, job, friends or other things in your life may need to shift. A person that you thought was your friend may be revealed to be not so wonderful. Also, someone you avoided for years may need a visit, a phone call, or an apology, perhaps. Once again, not following through with what you come to realize will slow or stop your progress.
For example, in a few cases, a marriage needs to end, and this can be very difficult to handle. In a few cases, a relationship with a parent, a brother, or a sister needs to end or change. This, too, can be difficult to negotiate, but is often necessary to fully heal an old trauma. Counseling with a very qualified person may help you to navigate and negotiate these situations carefully and successfully.
WHAT CAN HUSBANDS AND BOYFRIENDS DO AFTER A PARTNER HAS BEEN RAPED?
Many clients say that they have only recovered because they have a sympathetic and understanding husband or partner. The most important things for a partner to do are:
1. Listen a lot.
2. Hugs are very, very needed and helpful.
3. Of course, keep loving your partner who was raped no matter how many diseases and how damaged she has become.
4. Help in other ways, such as taking over some responsibilities, and understanding that anyone who has been raped is usually terrified to go out alone, even to go to work alone. Therefore, adjustments in lifestyles may have to be made as a result.
5. Encourage and assist your partner to study this article and follow a nutritional balancing program and the other recommendations.
6. Help your partner with safety concerns, which are always an issue and should be an issue.
For much more information about rape, read the companion article to this one, entitled Rape.