ALL ABOUT VICTIMHOOD
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© May 2012, The Center For Development, Inc.
Millions of people consider themselves victims. One can feel like a victim of the government, of your disease, of your childhood and parents, of men, of women, of your angry or disabled child, of the rapist, the robber, the murderer, the drunk who hit your car and killed your family, and the list goes on.
This article explores what it is to be a victim and why you need to stop it now.
DEFINITION OF A VICTIM
A victim, by definition, is powerless, helpless, and ruled by circumstances and forces beyond his or her control. This is probably an adequate definition of a victim.
The opposite of a victim is a sovereign or one who is free. The opposite is also a person who insists on taking full responsibility for EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS in his or her life, even the rape, the car accident with the drunk who crosses the yellow line, the illness, the abusive parent, and the rest.
However, I can add that all victims are mentally ill to some degree, all of them are angry, to a large degree in most cases, and they are all unforgiving b-i-t-c-h-e-s to a degree or other. They are also often liars and exaggerators to some degree. They also tend to be ungrateful people to some degree, and they are all mixed up to a degree. I know this extended definition will make the victims even more angry, but there is a reason I am saying it.
WHY ARE VICTIMS SO ANGRY?
The simple answer is that anger is their savior, meaning they don’t take action, they take anger, or really resentment, which is worse. That is, they prefer to stay angry rather than getting out of victimhood. That is the simple answer, and for now it will suffice, although there is more to it.
WHY BE A VICTIM?
Some would say, no one chooses to be a victim. It just happens one day, maybe even the day you are born. I want to differ. A victim is an ATTITUDE, not an event. Events affect people differently. One person falls down the stairs and breaks a leg and says, I am a victim of the torn carpeting or the toy left on the step, or the shoe that doesn’t fit will. But another person admits I was sloppy and careless, so I fell down.
One lady says I was just walking in the park and the man grabbed me a raped me violently for 2 hours till I nearly died. Surely that is a victim. But another lady states it differently. She say, I was stupid to walk alone in the park in my shorts and tight top. I was even told once never to walk alone, especially in that park. I was haughty, proud, wanting to show off a little skin, turn the heads, perk up the penises around me, so I paid the price. I take full responsibility and even though I can’t think as clearly now, I am grateful to be alive and I will never do that again and I will teach others to keep the holy female body covered up and stay safe. Meanwhile, she says, I went straight to the police to report my rape and when they didn’t get the man, I hired a private detective for $10,000.00 to find him and get him put away. (For much more on this, read Rape and Healing Rape on this site.)
One person says the drunk just swerved in my traffic lane and hit our car head on, killing my whole family and nearly killing me. What could be more of a victim? But another man says, we should not have been driving in such as small car, and if I had slept more and taken better care of my health, perhaps I could have reacted faster and mitigated the accident. Meanwhile, I am now helping to get drunks off the streets by hiring more cops, and I now give money to alcohol prevention programs and rehabilitation programs like Alcoholics Anonymous that work. I also support legislation to make cars safer and roads safer. (For more on taking responsibility, read The Real Self on this site.)
One person says the cancer just struck one day and now I’m an invalid and probably just going to die at a young age in terrible pain and agony, I think. But another person says, cancer is just a wake up call. Healthy bodies don’t get cancer. I read that about the Hunza people and others in the world who have hardly any cancer, though they live to a ripe old age and are not “genetically superior” to me. So I have studied and found out that toxic metals and toxic chemicals in the body cause cancer, along with refined food diets and especially eating sweets and junk foods. Stress and resentment also cause cancer. I was doing a little of all of that, so I set myself up for the cancer. I am changing my ways, and I think I can beat it, even without the doctor’s toxic treatments that I know don’t really get rid of the cause. (For more, read Cancer And Alternatives).
One person says my father beat me and mother held me down. I was just a small child. Surely I am a victim and there was little I could do to “take responsibility” when I was just three years old (or maybe younger). But the other person says and decides that maybe I had something to do with choosing my parents and my situation, and I will not let it hold me back any longer. Other children, like the starving babies in Africa, Asia and even a few in America, have and had it much worse than me. I will not feel sorry for myself any more. I choose to take full responsibility for my life, even though I don’t get it one bit. I will not keep hating my father and my mother, and I choose to move on. Meanwhile, I support foundations that deal with domestic violence or child abuse, and help prevent it and stop in others. Also, I will stop doing it if I ever catch myself doing it to another person in any way, shape or form, as this happens when one has been treated this way.
The point of all this is that choices exist, and victimhood is a choice. It is a bad choice that keeps one angry, keeps one ill, keeps one unhappy in all cases, but it is just a choice. You can decide today “I choose again”. “I can choose peace instead of this”, and so on.
VICTIMS CANNOT FORGIVE
Many people advocate forgiveness after one has been harmed, raped, beaten up or taken advantage of in some other way. This website strongly suggests it. However, some people find forgiveness at the deepest levels very difficult to do. The reason is they are still victims and victims cannot forgive because they lack the power to do so. This is a key point in this article. Victims cannot forgive, as they lack the power to do so. SO IF YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THAT PERSON OR SITUATION OR EVENT BUT FIND YOU CANNOT, STOP WITH THE VICTIM ATTITUDE AND YOU WILL FIND FORGIVENESS MUCH EASIER AND SIMPLER.
The reason for this is that to forgive means that you are “above” or beyond the situation, you can see what happened, and you are ready to move on. Victims are still deep in their situation, even if it happened years ago. So they cannot forgive, as they are not ready to move on and are not above or beyond the immediate situation.
Victims also cannot forgive because to forgive would mean to let go of the identity of being a victim, which is often worn proudly by the victim right on his or her chest. It puffs up the chest and makes one feel noble and special. Forgiving means giving it up forever. So that is out. This is another reason why forgiveness is so hard for some people.
Forgiveness is also hard for some people because they don’t really know what happened. For example, they may forgive Dad for that one bad spanking, but they don’t remember or have blotted out the other 100 bad spankings, and maybe a rape that occurred, too, because those are too painful. So they say, “Dad, I forgive the spanking”, but it is not enough. This is very common, by the way, since the mind blanks out or suppresses what it cannot handle. It shows up on hair mineral tests as a low sodium/potassium ratio in many cases, or perhaps a high Ca/Mg ratio, so you can’t fool the test even if you are fooling yourself or are simply unaware of the whole terrible truth of your trauma.
Another reason some people cannot forgive is they are still so angry. One must first decide to stop the anger and begin to reason calmly. This is hardest for women, we find, who tend to go to emotion easily, perhaps due to their higher level of copper in the body, and lower level of zinc than men. However, plenty of men just stay angry and cannot forgive for this reason, too. For more on this, read Forgiveness on this website.
ALL LIBERAL, LEFT-WING, SOCIALIST, ENTITLEMENT AND OFTEN NEW AGE THINKING IS VICTIMHOOD
Make no mistake about it. Blaming the rich, blaming the corporations, blaming the government – all of it is victimhood. If you want to stop being a victim, let it go and stop reading the liberal books and blogs, stop listening to the liberal TV commentators who just throw in a few jabs at the Republicans and the rich people to remind you to hate them. It is all victimhood.
In fact, anything that separates people is a form of victimhood because it tends to compare and contrast people, saying that some are more worthy than others in some way. This is also called social justice, a horrible concept. Affirmative action is another victim-based program, as is political correctness in all of its forms. Avoid all of these, now and forever more, if you ever want to be free and sovereign.
Instead, support free market solutions and capitalism, that helps raise people up, helps people excel, helps people get rich, helps people strive and learn new skills. This may seem silly and off the subject, but it is not off the subject at all! Socialism, communism, Occupy Wallstreet, Marxism, Leninism, Barak Obama – it is all victimhood, class envy, class warfare, etc.
You may be saying, “I don’t want to be a victim, but I can’t seem to help myself. I just keep thinking of how horrible it was”. This is a common dilemma. So the rest of this short article is about the steps needed to heal victimhood.
1. An awareness that “Yes, I am feeling like a victim of my life or circumstances or events in some way.”
This means is that you must acknowledge that you consider yourself a victim, with victim attitudes and a victim perspective on your life, no matter what happened or did not happen to you.
2. A firm decision that “I no longer care to be a victim.” This may sound easy, but it is not that easy. It means I will no longer indulge my anger at the rapist, or the drunk who hit the car and killed the family, or the man that backed his car over my dog, or the boyfriend or husband who ran away, or my child who takes drugs and torments me day and night.
The decision must be real and final. It means I no longer feel sorry for myself, I am no longer willing to run away to my silly pleasures that keep me from feeling how depressed how I am, I will no longer run with friends that “agree” on how rotten this world is, I will no longer read the victim newspapers, the victim websites (usually the liberal websites and the Occupy movement, for example).
I will no longer indulge in any idle talk about victims of this or that, meaning that I reject the idea that anyone must stay a victim of the hurricane, the tornado, the computer that crashed, the teacher who flunked you or told you you were stupid, and so on. In other words, I reject all that and I reject it now and forever.
3. Ask for God’s help and guidance to do the above, especially if I am having problems doing it. I ask every single day in prayer and meditation for help in letting go of my victim thinking, victim attitudes, victim friends, and so on.
4. Embark on a complete nutritional balancing program to strengthen the body, the mind and the soul. I am not kidding. This helps many, many people to let go of all victimhood. The enemas, the sauna and the Roy Masters meditation – and not other meditations and prayers – may be absolutely necessary to help you become aware of your attitudes, aware of your past, and help you to detach, to become grounded and centered, to see clearly, and therefore to allow you to let go of your victim thinking. Do not skip these procedures!
5. Use other methods if you can find them such as psycho-drama, biofeedback and perhaps others to help you get in touch with events, memories, feelings and so on. Be careful, however, as most counselors and psychologists today encourage anger and victimhood, at least for a while. This is their own failing, but it will keep you down and keep you coming back for more therapy after you have really had enough.
You only need as much therapy as is needed to show you your true attitudes and feelings, and perhaps why you have them. Then it is time for “the leap”. This is the decision that “I have had enough of victimhood. It is not fun! I am a victim of my victimhood and IT MUST GO – ALL OF IT - NOW.