MOTHERS AND PROBLEMS WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS
© January 2017, The Writers Group
All information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
Mothers, of course, are very important for the upbringing of girls. While a family can survive without a mother, it is not best. Areas in which mothers excel include meal preparation, dress, social graces, education and often others, as well.
Modern societies rightly recognize the important role mothers play in families. This is why sending children off to daycare, school and after-school activities is often not wise.
Daughters, in particular, need to be around their parents, not around other children and other adults who do not love them as much as do their parents.
PROBLEMS OF MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS
1. Teaching daughters to hate all men, including father. More mothers than one imagines secretly or even openly resent or hate men. Usually, these mothers experienced rape, molestation, unhappy relationships or other problems with men. These mothers often overtly or secretly teach their daughters to hate men. This is very serious problem, and quite common.
Some mothers are aware of what they are doing. In other cases, it is all done quite subconsciously. It always leads to trouble for the daughters, and can lead to rape. The father is often unable to control it and counter it, no matter what he says or does. Everything is turned against him by his angry wife.
2. Spoiling. Spoiling of a daughter by a mother is extremely common. There are various reasons for this:
A. Mother may be afraid that if she disciplines her daughter too much or too strictly, the daughter will turn against her and never speak to her again. In rare cases, this occurs. However, it is often not true.
B. Some mothers are simply lazy and donÕt want to take the trouble to discipline their daughters.
C. Some mothers spoil their daughters to secretly destroy them. Usually, the mother feels in competition with a daughter for the attention of the father or the attention of other men. To give herself an advantage, the mother intentionally misleads, abuses or spoils her daughter to weaken her.
3. Engaging in an identity exchange with their daughters. A mother can sometimes take on some of the daughterÕs innocence and, at the same time, give the daughter some of the motherÕs feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness or anger. Identity exchange of this kind is unusual, but it does occur.
4. Teaching daughters to be sexy or even promiscuous. One of the worst errors some mothers make is teaching their daughters how to lure men, how to dress sexy, and how to use sex to their advantage in other ways.
Some mothers do this because they feel their daughters must learn this in order to succeed in a ÒmanÕs worldÓ. Others do it because they like seeing their cute child in a short skirt, tight blouse or some other sexy outfit.
Still other mothers do it intentionally to destroy their daughtersÕ virginity, dignity and self worth. These mothers often feel they are in competition with their daughters for attention from their husbands or perhaps from other men or women.
5. Gossiping about their daughters. This is a terrible habit that can be so devastating it can cause a teenage girl to commit suicide. Please never share your daughterÕs secrets, diseases, details about her body, or anything else with anyone outside of her father.
Not only does this destroy any trust that might exist between mother and daughter. It has a devastating effect upon a girlsÕ self-esteem and self-worth that often never heals.
It is essential that all girls and women forgive both their father and their mother for any and all errors that the parents made in raising them. We cannot emphasize this enough.
No parents are perfect, no matter how they may appear. Also, do not compare your parents to that of your friends because much is hidden from view, and the situation may be very complex.
Forgive your parents for everything, no matter how serious their errors. For details, read Forgiving Parents.
To learn about problems between fathers and their daughters, read Fathers And Daughters.