MY HEALING PROCESS
by Marianne West
All information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
IÕve learned a lot since beginning a development program. Perhaps the most important is that crises can be an essential part of the healing process. This is because bacteria, infections, and even thought patterns whose energetic frequencies no longer match a body which is beginning to vibrate at a higher frequency must surface to be healed and resolved. They cannot survive in the healthier organism.
Unfortunately, this may not occur without a crisis, which, as I experienced recently, can be quite traumatic. As the crisis gains momentum, it can seem that all is lost, that no real progress has been made, that development is simply another of the inadequate healing methodologies that have all been tried before.
If one can stay the course, however, and see the crisis through to its resolution, one reaches a major milestone in the healing process. One is stronger and more balanced, and trust and hopeful anticipation take the place of anxiety, fear, and frustration. Such has been my own experience, anyway.
When I began the nutritional balancing program well over five years ago, it was relatively smooth sailing. My spirits improved enormously (I had suffered from severe depression and anxiety for most of my life) and my energy level improved. Good things were happening to my body, too. My awful, chronic insomnia was subsiding, my periods were longer and brighter, and my hair was thicker.
In the last two or three years, however, things became rocky. My health seemed to be deteriorating, and my physical appearance most certainly had (something I found devastating), despite the fact that, mentally and spiritually, I was becoming clearer and more grounded.
My hair tests confirmed the progress. They showed lovely celebratory patterns. Regardless, the anxiety and depression was resurfacing as strong as it ever was. My despair grew. After all, if the development program was not working, was there anything that would? Would I have to endure this awful enslavement for the rest of my life?
And then, one night, it all Òcame to a head,Ó when the terror I had managed to keep under wraps throughout the past five years utterly engulfed me. The root of everything lay in my upbringing—as it does with just about all of us.
I had been a member of a destructive cult from the time I was five years old, had suffered a lot of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of the cult leaders, and had absorbed the extreme negativity and judgment, fear and mental/emotional isolation that is typical of such cults.
As one learns from reading Dr. WilsonÕs articles, these destructive attitudes and thought patterns are reflected in a faulty body chemistry. Manifestations of this defensiveness in my case included a calcium shell and a sympathetic dominance pattern. They also included copper toxicity and an inverted sodium-potassium ratio.
After a while, these patterns began to shift, thanks to the balancing action of the recommended diet and supplements. As they shifted, the morbid attitudes I had adopted as a child began to rise to the surface with increasing intensity.
This was a good thing. However, it was something for which I was not psychologically prepared, despite my familiarity with the concept of retracing.
Thanks to my adherence to the program, however, it didnÕt happen until I was ready for it. A stronger, clearer me came to my rescue, and I recognized that I had been carrying around the terror and its accompanying despair for years and years.
It was now surfacing so I could finally let it go. I knew I needed to let it go if I didnÕt want it controlling my life anymore, directing attitudes and choices that resulted in unsatisfactory and unfulfilling life circumstances, and, ultimately, preventing my healing.
So I confronted it. It was a grueling experience, and it took all night. I kept doing the pulling down exercise until the horrible terror and despair subsided, but not before I engaged it and let it speak to me about what was driving it.
Underneath it all was the belief that ultimate rejection and abandonment were inevitable.
Of course, this was false and simply a result of all the negative experiences I had suffered in my life. In fact, a higher Intelligence and Energy Who was the source of my being, had lovingly supported and sustained me through all the awful twists and turns my life had taken since I was a child. It was there for me now and ready to complete the healing that I so desperately wanted.
All I had to do was let go of the fear and trustingly surrender. I had to let go and let It do what only It could do. So by the grace of God, I did, and relief followed: swift and sure, calming and beautiful.
The experience has made it all crystal clear. Holding on and trying to control everything was the way I had survived all the threatening and devastating experiences in my life. It had become my modus operandi. But it was interfering (though not completely) with the healing process. Thanks to my faith, the efficacy of the development program, and, last but not least, the invaluable wisdom and caring support of Dr. Wilson, I was able to Òlet goÓ in a big way and surrender to my Divine Source.
The relief I feel as a result of passing through this process is indescribable. My controlling and anxious ego is still there, IÕve noticed. But thanks to the crisis, I can recognize it for what it is. Instead of letting it take over, I show it compassion, and then calmly ignore it. After all, I donÕt need it to survive anymore.
Now I am more convinced of the truth: that life is good and that I am deeply and profoundly loved, that complete healing will be mine and that my deepest desires will be satisfied.
And I know that the stronger and more constant my focus, the faster the healing will be—both in body and soul—and the more quickly will l see positive changes in my life. And I am not na•ve enough to think there will be no other experiences like this. But the wisdom this last round has given me will see me through.
Such is the happy result of a healing crisis. And thanks to the development program, the crises only appear when one is ready to handle them. Really, the souls decide when it is best to bring up the dirt for release.
The trick is to stay the course and keep to the program, despite any discouragement one may have.
The bodyÕs increasing health is the reason for the crisis. The retracing could not occur unless the body had the energy necessary to surmount it. Once it surfaces and one can let go, calm and clarity will take the place of anxiety and confusion, and this result is well worth the suffering.
My prayer is that anyone attempting healing through a development program and encountering similar challenges will be encouraged through my own trauma and healing.