A MARRIAGE OF FRIENDS
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© August 2017, LD Wilson Consultants, Inc.
Normally, one thinks of marriage as an arrangement for people who want to have sex in a regular and safe way. However, there are some people who want to be married, but are not interested in having sex regularly. A wonderful option for these people is a called a marriage of friends.
Definition. A marriage of friends is first of all a marriage. This means:
1. It is between two people of the opposite sex. This is necessary for energetic reasons. Men and women blend their energies together in certain ways that simply do not occur when people are intimate with those of the same sex.
People of the same sex can live together, but according to this website, it is never a marriage.
2. A marriage usually means a formal agreement. The couple is not just rooming together, or just buddies. Ideally, there needs to be an agreement between the two that spells out the duties and obligations of each.
The agreement can be written, or it could just be agreed upon orally, although this is not quite as good. Later in this article are suggestions for such an agreement.
3. The couple can have children, if they wish. They can come together for ordinary sex for this purpose, or sperm can be collected and injected into the woman to conceive a child.
4. A marriage license issued by the government is not required. For details about the problems of marriage licenses, please read the section on this topic near the end of the article entitled The Marriage Contract.
II. BENEFITS OF A MARRIAGE OF FRIENDS
We will arrange these according to the 7 system:
1. Physical reasons. These include safety and security concerns, particularly for women. Women are generally safer when living with a man. Financially, marriage is also usually much better for both men and women.
The partners may also want to retain sexual fluids, avoid spreading disease, and avoid accidental pregnancy.
2. Emotional reasons. A desire for emotional closeness, support and interaction on an emotional level with another of the opposite sex. This can include touching, kissing, hugging and other play besides intercourse.
3. Mental/power reasons. A desire to live and be active in conjunction with another person of the opposite sex. This is an excellent experience for both men and women.
Another reason is a desire to avoid cutting into the energy field of another. Inserting a body part into another person cuts through the etheric energy field of the person, and this is not ideal, according to some authorities.
Also, according to some spiritual traditions, it is best not to deeply mix together the energy fields of two physical bodies, as occurs with sexual intercourse.
4. Social reasons. A desire for close friendship and the social interaction that comes with living with someone of the opposite sex.
5. Expressive reasons. A desire to work with another closely in creative ways. Marriage often involves this type of teamwork. One possible type of work together is to raise one or more children together.
6. Intellectual reasons. A desire for rather intense intellectual discussion and stimulation that comes with living with another of the opposite sex.
7. Spiritual/energetic reasons. These include:
A. A desire to speed up development. Although development is not as fast with a marriage of friends as it is if a couple does down sex, living with someone of the opposite sex definitely speeds up development.
This is a major reason for a marriage of friends, especially for women. For details about development, read Introduction To Development.
B. A desire to further oneŐs religious or spiritual life by living with another who shares and supports the same spiritual path.
Living together. Two who are married live together, and consider each other husband and wife. They may also call each other partners, good friends, or even lovers.
Sharing a bed. This is a mixed situation. Sleeping together is more intimate and it helps with both partnersŐ development to remain physically close to each other as much as possible. However, it also increases the temptation to have sex.
Touching, hugging and kissing. Most people in marriages of friends like some touching, hugging and kissing. This is one reason they want to be married.
Rings. It is best if the partners both wear wedding rings. This signals others that they are in a monogamous relationship and not to approach.
THE BIBLICAL VIEW
The Bible supports the idea of a marriage of friends. In the New Testament of the Bible, Paul of Tarsus says that no sex is best. The marriage of friends is simply an arrangement for those that agree with this view, but would like the benefits of living with someone of the opposite sex.
III. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
IF THE PEOPLE DONŐT CARE IF THEY HAVE SEX OR NOT, IS THAT A MARRIAGE OF FRIENDS?
No. A marriage of friends means specifically that the arrangement will not include regular sex.
ARE THERE ANY SITUATIONS IN WHICH THE COUPLE MIGHT DECIDE TO HAVE SEX?
Possibly. Two situations are 1) to conceive a child, and 2) once in a while for fun.
IF ONE PERSON WANTS A MARRIAGE OF FRIENDS AND THE OTHER DOES NOT, OR IS NEUTRAL ABOUT IT, WILL THAT WORK?
Often, if the two love each other enough, they can work out their differences with a compromise. However, two who are contemplating marriage should definitely discuss a marriage of friends before getting married. Otherwise, there can be problems!
CAN THERE BE REAL LOVE AND PASSION WITHOUT SEX?
Definitely. Love and passion are not about sex, but about a deep appreciation and honoring or another person.
HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM HAVING A ROOMMATE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
The difference is that a marriage of friends is more formal. For example, it always includes sexual fidelity and a deep commitment to the relationship.
In contrast, roommate situations are more for convenience. Roommates are not nearly as committed to each other.
Often, roommates have their own boyfriends, girlfriends or affairs outside of their living quarters that are completely independent of and do not involve the roommate.
Also, roommates do not wear wedding rings to signal they are in a monogamous relationship.