COACHING YOUR CLIENTS
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
©
July 2018. L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All
information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment,
prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
In order to help people stay on their development program, we must offer both development science and coaching. Let use examine what this means, and why it is very important.
WHAT
IS COACHING?
Coaching
means helping to encourage clients to stay the course. It also means helping them appreciate
how far they have come and how well they are doing. These may seem like simple things, but in many cases they
are not simple at all.
For example,
many people may feel worse at times during a nutrition program. We know this is because they are
eliminating a toxic metal or going through some other shift in the body
chemistry. However, this needs to
be communicated in a positive, encouraging way.
This is
similar to a baseball coach explaining why a player may have a bad day, at
times, and not to worry about it.
It is an essential part of a sports coach and it is an equally important
part of being a health coach as well.
HOW
TO BE A GREAT HEALING COACH
1. You canÕt be too positive. The most effective coaches may reprimand
a player at times, particularly if he or she feels the player is not living up
to his abilities. However, the
best of them are usually very positive and upbeat.
This
is not a quality found in most doctors or nutritionists, however. Many are consumed with the
technicalities of diseases, and related topics. These are often ingrained in medical school, and to some
degree at other healing schools, as well.
Instead
of being positive, some health coaches lecture their clients. They do not realize the need to hold
out total hope, love and faith to their clients. This is a big mistake.
2. Encourage. This one word sums up the
job of healing coach. Everyone,
bar none, needs encouragement. It
is a rare client indeed who is so self-motivated they will just follow along
blindly at all times. On a
development program, most people will have days when they donÕt feel well. They will have to put up with symptoms
and other inconveniences, while spending hard-earned funds to do this.
At the same
time, we often ask clients to go without the support of their families, doctos and friends.
They may even have to oppose the beliefs of their families, friends,
medical doctors and other influential people. This is another reason they all
need loads of encouragement and support.
3.
Listen carefully and thoroughly. Often patients complain that their
doctors do not listen and hear their complaints. It is fine to repeat back statements if you are not sure
what the client is trying to say. Often
just allowing a client to ÔventÕ, or express frustration with not feeling well,
can be enough to enable a person to continue with a correct healing program.
I also find
that just listening to a client can often help solve a problem on the
program. This is Òactive
listeningÓ, in which the client is allowed to think out loud, with your help,
and can often come up with the problem.
The coaches
role here is to ask simple questions such as ÒWhat did you have for lunch
today?Ó, ÒWhen did you go to sleep last evening?Ó,
ÒHow much water did you drink, and what kind?Ó With your feedback, these and similar questions can lead the
client to understand what went wrong in many cases.
4.
Provide support in many forms. I cannot overemphasize the need to
provide extra materials to help support your clients. Here are some simple examples:
á
Reading matter – articles, books, magazines and other.
á
CDs, videos or other media are also excellent.
á
Support groups, if possible. Have clients call one another and get together if possible
to help each other.
á
Lectures, discussions and other gatherings.
5.
Teach. DonÕt just lecture or
scold.
This is hard for some of us because it is a very different skill. It involves finding out what the client
needs and then offering it in a form and style that the person can grasp or
comprehend. The section below will
give some examples of the problems of the clients in these areas and how one
might help them.
COMMON
BLOCKAGES TO PROGRESS
Certain
tendencies in human beings keep them from progressing or following through with
a development program. Some are
simple, such as the inertia of their diet and lifestyle. Others are very subtle. Let us examine some of the more
difficult ones.
1.
The feeling of victimhood or hopelessness. This is a basic human problem. One often feels like there is no hope, or that one is
ÒdestinedÓ to suffer this disease or problem forever. Those who believe this way strongly wonÕt even begin a
program.
One answer
is to remind your clients that Òwith God all things
are possibleÓ. This cannot simply
be a prayer or affirmation, though it can start out that way. It is helpful if it is really felt at a
deep level. To get to this, most
people need to repeat prayers such as the 23rd
Psalm of David, or others.
Only
repetition will do for most people.
Support from a practitioner is also most helpful in any form such as
books, stories of overcoming illness, testimonials, or perhaps speaking with
others who have overcome their health problems.
2.
I am not good enough. This is
different from problem #1 above.
It is the idea that I might succeed with my health if only I were a
better, purer, smarter, more beautiful, or more talented person. In other words, this problem is an
inferiority or guilt complex, whereas problem #1 above is about the nature of
life.
This problem
can be difficult to solve, as it is usually based on childhood trauma or worse,
some deep feeling of unworthiness that again is a spiritual dilemma. In other words, God has not favored me
in some way, and therefore I am incapable of overcoming my problem, so why
bother.
In truth, we
have all Òmessed upÓ, at times, and we are all are blessed with grace. That is
how I explain the answer to this problem to clients. Once again, testimonials, and spiritual reading or other
media may also be helpful.
3.
The program is no good. This attitude
is also common. Call it skepticism
or cynicism. It is very common,
and with good reason because most of our clients have tried several to a dozen
other programs or approaches without much success.
This problem
is a breakdown of trust, a key element in the doctor-patient or
practitioner-client relationship.
After all, if the client felt he or she could take care of their health
all by themselves, they would not need anyoneÕs help.
Practitioners
can limit this problem somewhat by learning their trade well, and by presenting
the program and presenting themselves in a thoroughly professional manner.
This
includes how one dresses, speaks, writes and everything else about oneÕs office
setting, mannerisms and more. It
might be said to include oneÕs Òbedside mannerÓ, but is much more than this.
We must sell
ourselves repeatedly and convince those who trust us that their trust is
justified and that we care deeply about them, not about our image, reputation,
money or other motives for practicing our work.
A serious
problem today is that so many people are angry and discouraged with medical
doctors. Trust has broken down
before a person even comes in the door.
This must be repaired, ultimately, or results may not be as good.
To some
degree, trust acts as a placebo.
That is, it relieves anxiety to such a degree the client progresses
better, no matter what you suggest.
While this is the truth, competence matters a lot today, especially in
nutrition where many people with little training or expertise (including
medical personnel) offer their ideas as if they are gospel truth.
Thus the
concept of rebuilding trust and confidence is important in all situations of
healing today. Practitioners
should always be willing to take help and ask questions of more experienced
practitioners to keep learning more.
This is an important part of building confidence with clients as
well. Try to find answers if you
are not sure about something.
OTHER
METHODS OF SUPPORTING CLIENTS
Chiropractic. Regular, gentle chiropractic is excellent for everyone
on a development program. It can
relieve nerve blockages and keep a person moving along better, and it is not
too costly in many cases, especially since insurance often covers simple visits
to a chiropractor.
The best
types of chiropractors are those that use more gentle methods, in my
experience. These include Toftness, activator, kinesiological
methods and others.
Also, if
possible, find someone who assesses with non-invasive methods, which means
those that do not take x-rays if possible. Non-invasive methods include applied kinesiology or muscle
testing, various physical diagnostic methods such as palpating or feeling the
spine, visual examination of the spine and others.
Bodywork. Some forms of bodywork, especially
Rolfing, structural integration and methods such as foot and hand reflexology
are excellent along with development.
Both this and chiropractic are grounding for people and relaxing as
well.
Other
methods in this area are craniosacral work, although
I have found it not quite as good as the others unless the practitioner is very
skilled. Others are oriental
bodywork such as shiatsu massage, Thai massage, Jin Shin Jyutsu,
and others. Be careful about
recommending yoga and tai chi. While they can be excellent, many people are injured
in these classes because the teacher does not continuously walk around and
check to make sure the students are doing every posture exactly right. I donÕt feel these are quite as good
for Westerners for this reason only.
With any
adjunctive therapy, make sure the practitioner you recommend understands or at
least is friendly toward development. Avoid anyone who might try to dissuade a
client from continuing with development.
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