by Dr. Lawrence Wilson

© February 2013, L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.


All information in this article is for educational purposes only.  It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.


This is an unusual article about psychological and spiritual aspects of truth.  It also suggests a technique that can be most helpful.  This article is related to another article on this website called Initiation.

Now and then, a very beneficial opportunity arises that one knows, at one level, would be excellent for yourself.  However, for some other reason you are hesitant to go forward with it.  This article can help explain why this occurs on psychological and other levels, and how to handle the hesitation in these cases.




Have you ever had the experience in which you are apparently picked for something without your having any idea why.  Most adults and some children have had this experience.  For example, as a teen you may be asked to be the captain of your sports team, or your cheerleading team, or something else.  As an adult, you may be asked to take a particular job, though you are not sure why.  You may also be asked to be someone’s wife, husband or friend, although you really may not know why.

What many people do is then to wrack their brains to try to arrive at logical reasons why they should or should not accept the job, relationship or other thing.  When they cannot reason their way through it, which often happens, they often drop the idea, and with that they miss a wonderful opportunity.

In this article I want to suggest that this occurs mainly because some of life’s decisions are not easily explained logically, and one should, in these cases, go with the gut, as they say, and perhaps use a different type of logic that may be called “I am the one”. 




Let us say you are offered an amazing job, but it seems so outrageous or unusual you are hesitating to accept it.  Assuming you have weighed the pros and cons and are confused, the new logic is to just say “I guess I am the one”, and then accept the position.  At worst, the job won’t work out.  At best, it will launch you in a new direction and open you to life’s many possibilities.

Another common example has to do with personal relationships.  Let us say you are offered a relationship, but it does not fit your “list” of qualities you are looking for in another person, so you hesitate.  Assuming that the situation is safe and sane – not putting you in danger – a new logical way to approach the situation is to say, “Well, I guess I am the one”. 

You are really saying here I am being called to this job or relationship, so I cannot expect it to be comfortable, but it is worthwhile pursuing.  You are also admitting that you don’t understand the ways of God, so you cannot explain logically why this is occurring.  Therefore, you must let go the old reactive mind with its reasons and excuses, and just proceed.

Now let us examine one reason this situation occurs, from a psychological viewpoint.




When one begins a new experience, situation or phase of your life, it is often frightening.  It can be a new job, a new relationship, a new home, a new car, or even a new pet.  It could just be a new idea that you are trying to work with at your job.  Whatever it is, it can be scary, even if it is exciting or fantastic sounding.

The reason it is this way is that you have no reference points or memories of the new idea or person or thing in your mind.  So the mind has nothing to hold on to with it.  This is an important reason one can feel very insecure and unsure about anything really new.  In contrast, old ideas, old relationships, and old situations, no matter how wrong-headed, stupid or dangerous they are, have many reference points or memories associated with them.  As a result, these can seem somehow comfortable, even if you know they are not the truth, and not for you.

As an example, this problem arises often with relationships.  If you are used to being abused, for example, abuse may be horrible but you are used to it.  You have reference points in your memory about it.  You have an idea of how to handle it.

Now, if you suddenly meet a wonderful person who does not abuse you, and treats you very well, you have no reference points or memories for this situation, you can feel at a loss.  You may feel uncomfortable, awkward, and decide that there must be something wrong with this person, although you are not sure what it is.

Again, what you are feeling is that you have no reference points or memories with regard to meeting nice people, so you are at a loss as to how to behave or respond.  That is all.  And what is the answer – just show up.




Another reason many people are scared of new experiences is that, much as they want the new and wonderful, emotionally they are somehow attached to the past.  The usual reason is leftover anger and resentment with someone or something.  Oddly, hate and anger bind you to the past.  So, if you are not in touch with your anger and resentment, you will often keep choosing your past over and over again. 

This also occurs a lot with relationships, though it can occur with jobs, or many other things.  Usually, a woman is angry with her father, so anyone who seems to be like her father makes her angry.  Yet she may keep choosing men who are like her mean, nasty father over and over again.  The reason is not clear.  But it is that her resentment holds her to the past.

The answer is only and can only be to increase her awareness level and one day she will see and hopefully let go of her anger and resentment, and forgive her parents.  Then she magically finds she can move on in her life.  A necessary step, however, is to override your feelings and just show up.




Upside down means that one inverts reality and thinks that if I only can create my outer reality perfect, then my inner reality or security will be taken care of.  Yet, this never works out.  People try to change their outer world first, changing partners, changing houses or career, etc., yet they are not happier in many cases.

The reason is that the underlying problem is somewhere else – often inside.  Change that, which can be hard, and one’s outer life all of sudden works better.  The trick is how to do this.  Once again, learning to just show up can help. 

A nutritional balancing program, especially the Roy Masters exercise, is particularly excellent to speed up your new awareness and help you see how you are recreating the past because you are upside down and think that fixing the outside will fix what is wrong on the inside.

I am reminded of the biblical injunction: “First seek the kingdom of heaven, and all else will be added thereto”.  The master Jesus did not say, first clean the house and change your wardrobe, and then your life will go well.  Indeed, the statement in the bible indicates that if you fix what is within, then somehow the rest of your life will all fall into line.  This is quite profound, but true.  So once again, as far as moving forward is concerned, often you must first just show up, and then work through the difficulties.  You cannot wait around until all of the outer conditions are perfect, hoping then you will be perfect.  Life just does not work that way in most cases.




One result of the above is that for most of us, if we feel too comfortable around someone or something new, such as a new relationship or a new job, it may be just a rehash of the past.  This may be depressing to contemplate, but true.  It occurs because that which is known or “old”, even if it seems new, has many reference points and so the mind can be comfortable with it.  In contrast, a job or relationship that is truly the future has no reference points, so you are liable to be somewhat uncomfortable and hesitant about it.

So if you really want your future, stop looking for comfort and stability.  Know that your future will be unsure, at first.  It may be odd or unusual to you.  It is not that your future will be odd.  It is that you have no reference points for it, so it looks odd or unusual.  Your old tricks, habits, games, and ways of doing things won’t work as well, so you are stumped and feel uncomfortable.  It feels bad, but it is good!!!

Your future will move you ahead like a lightning bolt, expose you to new experiences, and teach you many things.  But at first it is scary, odd, or may even seem downright ridiculous in some ways.  Please remember this next time you meet a new person for a relationship, or consider a new job.  If it feels too comfy, it is probably not that great for you.  If it feels kind of odd and tough, it is more likely for you.  A key to handling this problem is to just show up, and give the new a chance.




  It is only to be applied to situations that you know or feel, at some level, are possibly positive and beneficial and wholesome, but which you have fear or hesitation about.

That is, the title of the article does not mean to just do anything asked of you.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  You are to be thoroughly discerning and check people out carefully.  Check carefully any situation, job, party, project that you asked to participate in, or are just thinking about.  Most are not worth it, in fact.




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