DEEP LOVING RELATIONSHIPS- 2
By Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© September 2016, L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
This article is a further exploration of man-woman relationships and continues where the article entitled Deep Loving Relationships-1 leaves off. If you have not read that article, please read it first.
This article discusses:
1. The nature and differences between men and women in terms of physicality, anatomy or body structure, body chemistry (hormones, minerals and more), emotions, mentality, social aspects such as religion, and etheric aspects.
2. What men can offer to women, and what women can offer to men.
3. Levels of relationships between men and women, in terms of the seven physical energy centers of the body. This is a very useful and helpful way to understand human relationships of all kinds. It is based on an ancient system of understanding people in terms of which body centers are most active, as well as which ones are shut down or unhealthy.
THE NATURE OF, AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
The essence of man and woman are not what one may believe. They are not just “plumbing differences”, to use a crude term. The subject is quite involved, in fact.
Why know the differences between men and women? Modern social theory holds that there are few differences between men and women. This is not correct. Relationships with the opposite sex work much better if one realizes and honors certain tendencies that are different between men and women.
This short section is meant as a mere introduction to this fascinating subject. It consists of generalizations, but there is truth to them.
Couples who stay together are often the ones who understand that their partner does not think and feel in the same way. Each understands and appreciates the capabilities of the other, while standing aside in certain areas to allow the other to bring through the best he or she has to offer.
The energetic essence of man and woman. The words man and woman describe physical bodies, but they also describe energetic states. This is important for this discussion, as the information that follows relates much more to these states of matter than it does to particular configurations of body parts.
Woman is the negative energetic pole or field, while man is a more positive energetic pole or energy. This is a summary of a very complex difference between the two. The plumbing differences, the hormonal differences and all else that is different in their genetics, speech, thought, feelings and more come from or derive from the above. This is the point of this definition, which is energetic in meaning, first and foremost.
Woman has been described as more yin and man as more yang, in Taoist and Chinese philosophy, although this is too simplistic. Woman is receptive, softer in voice and feeling, and less willing to be outgoing, often. Her body temperature is usually lower, as is her energy level. This also describes more yin energy.
Man, by contrast, is warmer, more dry, more active and aggressive, and perhaps more harsh and outgoing. This describes more yang energy in Chinese and Taoist thinking. Hence, the link between woman and man, and yin and yang energies. However, this is not adequate for this article. Instead, I will discuss another way to understand men and women.
Women are more open and understanding. Men are more positive and focused. This description is better in some ways than that which is presented above. It speaks to qualities that are not as physical, and instead or more of the heart, or mental in nature. Men and women, of course, are very much mental and emotional creatures, so the description above may be more helpful as well.
ANATOMY AND ITS SUBTLE EFFECTS UPON THINKING AND FEELING
Men tend to be physically stronger than women. This is the cause for many disputes, fears, disagreements, legal situations and other conflicts between men and women. Understanding the subtle effects of this difference is a complex subject I will just touch upon.
One of the effects of this difference is that women are less secure with men than they are with other women. Men are more secure with women than they are with men, in general. This, alone, gives rise to unusual situations and conflicts in relationships.
Another result of the physical differences is that men often want to “take care of women”, while women enjoy being “cared for” by men. This does not work, in practice. In fact, men really want to be cared for by women emotionally, while women often wish to dominate men emotionally and even intellectually, in part as a compensation for their inferior physical strength. This also gives rise to many conflicts and misunderstandings.
Men also dominate physically in arguments and discussions with women, in some cases, simply because they have more energy and bigger muscles, including the vocal chords and lung and chest muscles. This is also a problem in some relationships.
Men also dominate in other physical areas in some cases where strength is involved. This can involve sex, athletics, and other areas.
Men are often more crude and rough, while women are often more refined, delicate and “feminine”. This has to do with women’s tissue strength, in general, which is more flexible due to copper and often under the skin is more fat due to some water retention and estrogenic effects. This difference is minor, in fact, in reality. However, it affects the women’s appearance and makes them look younger and sexier, which most men like, and it makes the men look somewhat older and wiser, which most women like.
Women, of course, are set up to bear the young and nurture the babies from the breast. Men lack all of this apparatus.
The effects of this are quite profound. Women often think about babies, children, pregnancy and nurturing the young day and night. They are forced to do this, in a way, by their body structure and chemistry. Men lack this “distraction”, as it may be called, because they lack the physical apparatus for accomplishing it.
For women, this is a very positive focus at times. However, it can be totally engrossing, distracting and even negative in many cases when it is not needed or not appropriate.
In many men, the lack of this caring and reproducing and nurturing apparatus can give them a coldness and seemingly unfeeling nature. For example, men are more likely to commit violence than women, perhaps in part for this reason. Women are often closer to the truth of the sacredness of life because they are the ones who give physical life.
Anatomy and centeredness. Men tend to be more centered, while women tend to be more total-minded. This is reflected in their anatomy. The testicles sit together in the men. In women, however, the ovaries are scattered and not as together. Women tend to be more scattered, at times, or spacey. In part, this is due to a higher level of copper in their bodies in relation to zinc. However, in part it is because their minerals and even their anatomy suggests and demands it.
Also, women’s energies are more circular, while men’s energies are more linear. This, of course, is also suggested and perhaps even dictated by their anatomy. The penis is linear, while the vagina, uterus area is more rounded or circular.
This difference leads to different ways of thinking, feeling and experiencing life, in fact. Women tend to think in terms of circles, like the circles of the family, friends, community, nations and so on. Men tend to think more in straight lines, such as, “How will I solve this problem logically and directly?”
This gives rise to many misunderstandings and conflicts between men and women, and is one of the most important differences between them. Couples or pairs who understand these differences will get along far better than those who do not understand this difference well.
A related way to understand men and women is using an analogy with circles of energy, or spirals of energy. In general, men form smaller circles or tighter spirals of energy. Women tend to form larger or more open spirals of energy. This is a bit esoteric, but if one imagines energy moving in this way, it will help one understand men and women better.
SOME BIOCHEMICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
The mineral content in the bodies of men and women. These also have an effect that is separate from the hormonal differences between them, and is due to the design of the bodies themselves. Man is more dominated by zinc, selenium. Men who have “older” minerals have more lead, cadmium and arsenic in their bodies than women, in general. A properly designed nutritional balancing program can and will “update” the minerals in a man’s body, creating far better health and better sexual relationships as well.
Women are much more dominated by copper, manganese, and iodine. These are called the female minerals in my book, Nutritional Balancing And Hair Mineral Analysis (2010 edition). Women who have the “older” minerals in their bodies have more aluminum, mercury, nickel and lead. A newer and correct nutritional balancing program can and will “update” women’s minerals, thus assisting their health, joy and sexual abilities. So the minerals of the bodies have an effect in addition to and in spite of the hormones, at times.
The role of the sex hormones in sexuality. Some of the difference between men and women, though not all of it, has to do with their hormones. Women’s hormones are more passive, loving and inclusive. Men’s hormones make them more active, more aggressive, more selfish in some ways, and perhaps more astute mentally and less emotional.
This is another large subject, but an important one. As men and women develop spiritually, their hormone levels will decline somewhat and their hormones actually change a little to become more like each other. This is an important step in their sexual relationship, in fact, as it helps them understand each other far better and thus helps them stay together.
Women’s hormones cycle strongly each month, as part of the reproductive system, while men’s do not. This is another profound difference related to hormones but not determined by it. The cause of the cycling is a genetic trait, not a hormonal trait.
The cycling, however, imparts an unusual character and nature to women. They are literally “up one day and down the next” much more than men. They also may think about things differently on some days or weeks than others. They also may be impaired in some ways on some days, without prior notice or warning to themselves or others. They may even be dysfunctional mentally or physically at times during the month.
Nutritional balancing programs are superb to correct symptoms related to improper cycling of the hormones such as premenstrual tension, post-menstrual tension, menstrual cramps, dysmenorrhea, abnormal menstrual bleeding, irregular periods, amenorrhea and other problems with the menstrual cycle.
These are often considered as “hormone problems”. However, the cause itself is not with the hormones, which respond to signals from the brain. The cause is often deeper, having to do with the “wiring” or basic genetic expression in a woman’s body. This must be corrected for the problem to totally disappear. Women with regular, normal periods are few today due to all the toxins in the environment and due to malnutrition, mainly.
PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
The psychological differences between men and women have been explained in some books, though most books are not quite honest, in my view. The differences tend to arise from the physical, mineral-related, hormone-related and other biological differences between the bodies. Here are some of the main ones.
Coping strategies. Men are often more direct in their communication than women. Women, in general, are more fearful of upsetting others. This greater consideration is a positive attribute in some cases, but often it leads to some deception, lying, and backstabbing rather than just telling the facts.
Women are also more prone to jealousy, rage and anger due to a higher physical copper level and lower zinc level. Copper activates the old or emotional brain, the diencephalon. Zinc activates the new brain or neocortex. This brain modifies our emotions and softens them. This is best seen in pregnant animals, which can become ferocious when threatened. This is a more emotional response and mediated through the neocortex and diencephalon together.
To control others or situations, men are more likely to use bullying and intimidation. Women are more likely to use more covert methods such as backstabbing, lying, seduction or malicious gossip.
This once again has to do with women’s inferior physical strength, less physical confidence, and perhaps women’s more emotional type of responses. Women will also take advantage of their sex appeal to control others, even other women.
Gossip is an interesting way to control others. It relates to one’s understanding of and dynamics of group interactions. Gossip may be viewed as distorted communication that fosters rumors and lies to ostracize a group member or achieve some other group effect. It is quite poisonous, however. Men use it also, of course, but women are often better at is in their subtle way, as they often have a better sense of the group dynamic than most men.
For this reason, some women make excellent politicians and leaders, for example, if they can read group energy carefully and accurately. Men who are good leaders and politicians must also have this ability, a decidedly female trait. For example, they cannot just “go off on their own”. They must bring the group with them, either as a true leader or by lying, deception, seduction, brute force or other means.
Women are more jealous of others than men. This is sometimes hard to see, however. This may be related to women’s greater awareness of the group and group energy than men. It may also relate to women’s inferior physical strength in some cases and feeling vulnerable as a result.
MENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, IN GENERAL
Women tend to think about the group, while men tend to be more individualistic. This is important for their political thinking, which is quite different. Women tend to vote much more liberal and socialist. Men tend to vote more conservative and what may be called laissez faire capitalist and free market.
Women tend to feel sorry for others more than men. Once again, this is an admirable trait at times. However, it often leads to a “bleeding heart mentality”, that spoils people and creates unhealthy dependency. It even backfires and causes rage and anger in those who have been so “helped” by liberal political programs, for example, such as welfare and government health care.
Women tend to be more gullible than men. Some of this is because women are more emotional and can be appealed to emotionally easier than men. Men are more likely to check their feelings with their logical brain, whereas women
Women tend to be more split or schizoid than men. By this I do not mean some kind of psychological disorder. This refers back to an earlier trait that women are more concerned with groups of people, they are less selfish and they are often multi-taskers. Men are more centered, single-minded and can often only hold one thought at a time in the mind.
For this reason, women are often more astute and aware than men in a sense. However, due to their greater drive and focus, men often accomplish more in business, for example, than women.
This is why trying to “equalize the playing field” between men and women in terms of salary, work conditions and so on is ridiculous. Men are best at some jobs, while women are better at others. It is best to allow the marketplace to give the proper value to all workers of all sexes, races, etc. Any effort to impose a standard tends to backfire and tends to be tyrannical, stupid and wrong.
Most women are more honest than men. This quality of genuineness is one of women’s greatest strengths. Unfortunately, some women do not understand this. They are usually very competitive types and are willing to use anything to get ahead of their male friends or enemies. They can be vicious liars as part of this syndrome. Fortunately, it is relatively uncommon.
Women tend to have a lower self-esteem than men, in general. This may be due to the fact that so much rides on a woman’s appearance, clothing and other superficial aspects of her. This tends to create more fear and apprehension that she is not measuring up.
SENSE OF IDENTITY DIFFERENCES
Women often have a stronger identity of self than men. This is an interesting trait described by Mr. Roy Masters. It means that women, perhaps in part to compensate for their inferior physical strength, often develop a stronger self identity than men. This is, of course, very positive when the identity is positive. When it is a negative identity, it works against the health of the woman and accounts for much higher rates of depression, anxiety, panic attacks and other mental/emotional disorders of women.
So these disorders are not just due to higher copper and lower zinc levels, although these are very important. They are often due as well to a combination of women’s identity issues.
Mr. Masters explains that a possible reason for these identity differences is that most men and women are raised, at least at first, by women. This is the biological set-up, as it were. Women can breastfeed while men cannot. Most all babies spend much more time with a woman, as a result, from the time of birth to about age 2 or even 3 in some cultures.
Imprinting. At this time, an interesting biological phenomenon is at play called imprinting. It can be seen in its crudest form at a zoo, for example. When chicks, ducks or other animals are newly hatched or born, they will tend to follow around the first animal that they come in contact with, thinking it is their parent. In most cases, it is the mother, and this is usually adaptive or helpful. However, if it happens to be the zoo keeper, for example, then the chicks may follow the zoo keeper around the cage, actually thinking that he or she is the parent. This is a biological survival mechanism that is built-in to all animals, including human beings to a degree,
The result of spending so much time with a woman right after birth for a few years is that both men and women may develop a desire to “follow around” women. For adult women, this means a stronger self-identity and even a preoccupation with the self. For men, it can mean a weaker identity, more identity confusion, and possibly self-loathing. This is an interesting subject that needs to be studied more to understand its power better.
RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
Women tend to attend church much more than men. There may be many reasons for this, from a greater spiritual awareness in some cases, to a desire to bring in an etheric energy to themselves, as discussed below.
Another possible reason is that women are often in charge of raising the children and they want the children exposed to religious beliefs, ethical precepts, and so on. Also, church, mosque or synagogue attendance is an important community and group experience that women enjoy more than men, generally.
Also, attending worship services is a quiet, refined activity. In many cultures, especially in the past, but also today, worship services are the most peaceful, pleasant, and loving experiences of one’s hard and rather dull, at times, daily life. For all these reasons, women are often the leaders behind the scenes of religious organizations and some spiritual organizations as well such as new-age centers, book clubs, etc.
ETHERIC-LEVEL ASPECTS OF THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
Men are able to transmute certain energies from the heavens more easily than most women. This energy may be called ‘the love of the creator’. It is a pleasant energy that flows through the body and causes a slight tingling sensation in the physical and emotional body. Men and women usually don’t talk about it, as they don’t understand it and they take it for granted. However, it is really quite profound!
The following may result from this interesting difference:
1. Women are often more caught up with themselves in a certain way than men are. In other words, while they may be more “spiritual”, they are really less in touch with this particular etheric energy.
Other traits of women may also contribute to this caught up feature of most women. It may be a combination of the result of imprinting discussed above, coupled with more sex appeal. Ways this manifests are women spending too much time fixing their hair, their skin, their nails, their clothing, and so on. They can shop for hours, for example, where men get bored and don’t care as much about appearances.
2. Some women seek out a man to help them in this area. This is actually an important, though often hidden reason why some women enjoy having a relationship with a man. Women will sometimes put up with a lot of negative traits in a man if the man seems to carry this etheric quality. Unfortunately, many women confuse this trait with other personality or psychological traits that are, in reality, ego traits. This misleads some women and causes a lot of unhappiness.
This causes a type of co-dependent or unhealthy relationship. She is often using the man for some kind of security need, while he may use her for sex or may enjoy controlling her in some other way.
A better alternative is for the woman to realize she does not bring this energy through as well, and then to learn from the man how to improve this weakness in herself. The key is often to meditate daily, not to focus on one’s appearance and other less critical aspects of life, avoid materialistic foci, and relax more. Eventually, she can bring through more of this etheric or heavenly energy.
The only trouble with this arrangement is that when the woman learns this, she will no longer need the man for this purpose, and the relationship will likely dissolve. Thus, hopefully, there is more to the relationship than this.
3. Some women consciously know they are not as “connected” as they wish to be with the etheric love of the creator. This may drive them to read spiritual books, attend group worship services, meditate, or seek help for the problem in other ways.
There are other differences between men and women, but these are among the most basic. Note that all the mental and psychological ones derive from differences in the minerals, the anatomy and some hormonal differences. What this means is that underneath, men and women are alike in many ways. However, especially among those who are less developed, the above can cause significant differences that must be respected and hopefully used for good, as well. Attempts to “equalize” men and women will always fail for this reason alone.
WOMEN AND MEN IN THE WORKPLACE
Men and women often work differently. This can be an advantage to working together, or a definite disadvantage. This article outlines a few of the differences in perception between men and women that may be used to advantage. Most are obvious, but sometimes helpful to recall in work situations. This can help men and women to work together better, and this is the purpose of this article.
Women tend, overall, to be more people-oriented and less task-oriented. Men, in contrast, are often, though not always, more task-oriented. This means they care a little less about who is involved, and more about what is involved.
Results: Men may stick with a task better than women, though, once again, this is a generalization. Women may stick with a client better than men, though again this is generalization. In some businesses, sticking with the tasks is most critical. In others, sticking with the clients is most critical.
HANDLING PROBLEMS AT WORK
Men are generally more likely to want to solve problems by themselves, alone. Women often prefer doing it together, as a group. Often, women prefer to negotiate, while men just prefer moving ahead at full speed with less negotiating.
Results: Once again, some business issues require teamwork and negotiating. Others require that you send a person out to do the job, and the job gets done by one person working alone. There is no “best way” to work. We are just pointing out differences so that a business can make the best use of its personnel, and so that employees and everyone else will be as satisfied, happy and as successful as possible.
HANDLING PERSONAL PROBLEMS
Women tend to want to talk about problems, often excessively if they are not sure what to do about it. Men, on the other hand, often keep problems to themselves, often suppressing the desire to speak to others and trust others with personal information.
Results: This is often an issue in the workplace. Some do not want to share personal information at all, while others want to share too much. It can cause significant friction in some cases. Understanding the differences between men and women, generally, may help somewhat.
WHAT MEN CAN OFFER TO WOMEN, AND WHAT WOMEN CAN OFFER TO MEN
This short section is more philosophical, but not completely. It is designed to answer the deep question that many young people ask: Why bother with relationships? If one just wants sex, for example, a relationship is not needed. One can just have one-night stands or casual sex. If one just wants a companion, one can buy a dog or cat, have a roommate, or live in an apartment or similar place where there are other people around to do things with. If one just wants someone to love, however, then a relationship is for you.
WHY DO PEOPLE ENTER INTO RELATIONSHIPS?
First I will answer this generally. Human male-female relationships cause or have certain profound effects. They include:
1. Magnetizing or polarizing oneself by placing oneself in comparison with, or in relationship with, another soul who sees the world differently than you do.
2. Completing seemingly incomplete aspects of oneself by living with a partner of the opposite sex.
3. Closing a gap that one feels inside.
4. Bringing harmony at certain levels.
5. Correcting various hormonal and other imbalances that men and women feel and experience in relation to one another.
6. Releasing physical and hormonal tension.
7. Reproducing oneself in children by using the body of a person of the opposite sex. This really does not require a relationship for a woman, but it does for a man.
8. Removing loneliness, boredom, aloneness, fears of being alone or bored, and other negative feelings such as depression or anxiety. This also does not require a male-female relationship, though many people believe it does.
9. Fun, which is defined differently by each person. Fun may mean someone to eat dinner with, to go to a ballgame with, or just someone to talk to, to touch, or to keep you warm at night.
10. Someone to control, manipulate, look down upon, or even someone to resent and become angry with. These might be viewed as neurotic or co-dependent or unhealthful reasons for man-woman relationships. However, they are quite common.
11. Healing at the deepest levels. This I would call tantric or deep loving relationships.
Let us now explore in more detail what men and women can and do offer to each other physically, energetically and psychologically.
WHAT MEN CAN OFFER AND GIVE TO THEIR WOMEN PARTNERS
Men can give to women their physical strength, their bravery and courage, their sperm, and their leadership. This may not seem like much, but to a good woman, this is a large amount.
Men are also often more grounded, today, though not necessarily, and perhaps more relaxed, more intellectual, and less emotional. Men may have more money to offer a woman, but not necessarily. These are among the basic qualities than men offer to women that make for a wonderful relationships.
What men often offer to women, which is harmful to a relationship, is just sex, just money or things, or just attention. Unfortunately, millions of immature, silly women think this is what they want from a man. They are looking for a sugar daddy, as some say, or they are looking for control over a man who just gives them whatever they wish, provided, of course, that the women are willing to serve the man food and sex, perhaps.
If a woman does not understand all of this, she will inevitably “fall in love” and marry the wrong type of man, and will likely end up very unhappy. If she does understand the above, she will likely find a good man and will be smart enough to stay with him, through thick and thin, since what he can give her is worth any inconveniences, physical or emotional deprivations or other types of hardships she may have to endure along the way.
This is hard to hear for many women who have been trained to believe that men are here to serve them, basically, to fix the car, to mow the lawn, to run the children around, and so on. So this article is not about that type of man-woman relationship, a type that today does not last too long because divorce is easy and men are waking up and taking action when they feel used and abused by their loving wives. So please, ladies, listen carefully and think hard about what the man you are interested in is giving to you.
Esoterically, men represent the yang side of a relationship. This is more outgoing, more superficially strong and centered, hotter, and more intense. This is often not apparent to an outsider, but many couples are aware of it.
WHAT WOMEN CAN OFFER AND GIVE TO THEIR MEN
Women can offer men their love, their lives, their bodies, and their reproductive abilities to have children and raise them healthfully. Women also offer to men a certain softness, gentleness, appreciation of beauty, and sociable nature that men, by themselves, often lack. Women can offer men a certain refinement, though not necessarily. Women can offer men their bodies, but not for sex. Instead, they can offer their softer, weaker bodies so that men can learn that homes, cars, and everything else needs to be designed for the women, not just the men. And women can offer much more to men if the women will allow the men to lead sexually and spiritually. This is the subject of another section of this article.
What women often offer to men and give them without hesitation is pure sex with no strings attached, or just a mothering role of cooking and serving meals, cleaning and ironing their clothes, raising the children, and prettying up their faces and bodies so the men feel important and special. This is the current view of what women offer to men that is falling apart in America and around the world due to easy divorces and because women are waking up and are sick and tired of this type of offering.
Gentlemen, if this is what you think a woman is good for, be careful. You will likely “fall in love” with a selfish lady who will give you what you think you want and need, but will hate you for it quietly, and she will disappoint you in many ways until you feel tortured and just want to leave.
Women are like the moon, in a spiritual sense, in relation to man who is more like the sun. This analogy may not be fully true, but there is an aspect of truth to it. That is, a woman in a healthy relationship will reflect the light and love of the man for all to see. She acts as a mirror, of sorts, and what he does to her, he does to himself. Likewise, as she offers herself to him, she offers herself to herself in a spiritual manner. This is more esoteric, but quite true.
Women represent the yin side of a relationship. This is the softer, quieter, gentler, more passive, deeper, less superficial and more flowing aspect of the relationship. This is often not apparent to an outsider, but many couples are aware of this fact.
LEVELS OF RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, IN TERMS OF WHICH ENERGY CENTERS ARE MOST ACTIVE
Relationship can be classified or assessed in terms of the major energy centers of the body. This is a very useful way of looking at relationships because it has a lot of underlying truth to it. It is simplistic, but still many people will find it helpful to analyze and understand relationships better. Here is the basic understanding:
FIRST CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND FIRST CENTER LOVE
The first center of the body is located near the anus, and it has to do with survival issues of the body and mind. Relationships in which the focus is on this part of the body are often about competitiveness and fighting with another for dominance. These are the most destructive type of relationships imaginable in most cases, although they may look benign and even happy on the outside. They are about the adrenal and sex glands, which offer a person stamina and hormonal strength to do battle with others.
On the outside, such relationships are often very conventional looking, though they are always about meeting physical needs and goals. For example, one person may want money from the other, or may want sex, or perhaps wants physical security. The other person may want something else, and they maintain an uneasy peace, or not so peaceful truce to get what they want at the expense of the other.
For example, the other person might want someone to cook the meals and give her children, or he might want the house look nice for his friends and business associates. If the relationship continues, they trade off their wants and desires, but always in a subtle competitive and non-loving way.
Often, women want children, some sex and respect and position in society. Men often want lots of sex, children, a pretty maiden to follow them around and show off to his friends and associates, and perhaps someone who is a good cook and keeps a clean home for him.
Violence in first center relationships. These relationships always involve violence against one or even both parties, although it need not be physical violence. It may be emotional abuse, verbal violence or abuse, or some other type of attempt to put down, control, manipulate and even destroy another.
Men who abuse women, and adults who abuse children are obvious examples of first center types of relationships. However, many are also more subtle. Women can also subtly hate and destroy their husbands, boyfriends and children. Some are actually violent, but most do this with less obvious forms of emotional abuse.
Children occasionally turn the tables on their parents and drive the parents crazy, literally, through manipulative tactics that some children just seem to know intuitively. So there are many varieties of first center relationships. They are extremely common on planet earth at this time, but becoming less so as divorce is getting easier and women are gaining more rights of their own. They are still common in some Asian and Middle Eastern nations, for example, where women do not have many rights.
First center love is rather cold, or perhaps very superficial, or phony, and perhaps missing altogether. There is little real intimacy, real communication, real loving and exchange of energies at higher levels. Instead, love means getting what you want from the other. If he loves you, he will give you children, for example, and provide well for them and for you. If she loves him, she will give him sex whenever he wants it, look pretty all the time, keep the house clean and cook the meals. He can yell at her and she will cower and continue to stay with him. She can tell lies about him to her friends and spread gossip that should not be spread around, and he will stay with her anyway. This is first center loving, if it can be called love at all.
SECOND CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND SECOND CENTER LOVE
The second center or energy center is located just below the navel area. It is concerned with one-on-one sexually-based relationships in a purely physical, hormonally-based way. It also has to do with rather primal and intense animalistic emotional responses, such as intense sexual desire, intense anger, fear, rage, and others.
This center is about the sex glands, primarily. Second center relationships are basically sexually oriented, first and foremost. They are very romantic in a sexual way, and usually little else. They are the stuff of romantic male fantasies, and sometimes female fantasies as well, such as the incredible lover who just keeps one in bed for hours with hundreds of intense orgasms, amazing bedtime gymnastics to arouse the passions and sexual organs, and not much else.
These relationships are also destructive, but less so than first center relationships. On earth, too much sex is harmful for women, in particular, but for men just as much, in fact. It slows their development and keeps their focus on the lower organs instead of on higher things in life. It depletes them nutritionally as the sperm and vaginal fluids are rich in nutrients and these are lost, particularly in the men. They also tend to be destructive because sex always involves subtle energy exchanges in which the auras blend closely. When not understood, many women and men pollute themselves with the aura of their partners, confusing them, making the angry, and harming them in other ways. One could say that second-center relationships are often mainly about body pollution through too much sex without much love.
However, if one is ill, unattractive or not as physically oriented, a second center relationship can be about fantasy with another person, usually sexual fantasy. This is interesting because it can occur with people who are very obese, for example, so they are not that physically attractive. However, they can be very good at touching the other person’s body in erotic ways that cause a lot of sexual arousal and feelings.
Second center relationships, while still primitive, offer some emotional content. That is, there is “love”, feelings, and perhaps even some caring between the people. However, there is still very little real intimacy or loving outside of sexual contact, which is really just a hormonal and physical experience at this level of relationship.
Second center loving is the dominant type on planet earth at this time. People marry, or just come together to experience sex, romance, arguing and fighting, and other basic emotional experiences with each other. It is rather sad, in fact, although the Hollywood producers make it all look gorgeous and tempting. It all has an empty ring about it for those who have gone through it. Something is missing, and they know it after a while. With luck, this spurs them on to better things and more fulfilling relationships.
THIRD CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
The third center or energy center is located at the level of the solar plexus, just below the breast bone. Psychologically, it is concerned with pure power, dominance and control in the world. This is somewhat different from power and control over particular others, though it involves control over the masses, so to speak. It is quite involved with money power, fame, positions of power, and manipulation of others and the world through the clever and skillful use of the intellect, beliefs, and mental powers. It is also about crude emotions of force, rage, and anger. The third center has a lot to do with the kidneys, liver and pancreas gland. This is how we process energy, manage our blood sugar, and process our food for survival.
Relationships in which the third center is dominant are extremely common today. They are often sexual to a degree, but sex is not the main focus. They may contain some romance, and domineering over the other, but this is also not the main focus in most cases. They can seem very loving, but it is deceptive. The primary quality involves control and manipulation by ideas and beliefs.
Liberalism is a third center idea. Modern-day socialism and liberalism is a third center belief system. It seems very loving, for example, to place millions of people on welfare and social security, to give everyone free medical care, to enact lots of taxes on the evil rich people, and to protect the environment with a myriad of rules and regulations.
However, underneath it is all about controlling people. The most hated thing for these people are the free market, corporations, free enterprise and capitalism because these ideas are not about control, but rather about allowing each person and each company to take care of himself as best he can.
Liberalism is a good way to see how deceptive the third center can be. It seems like one thing, but it is another. This is different from the first two centers, which are fairly clear and straight forward.
Third center relationships have a similar deceptive quality that many people experience. They seem to be about love, but they are about control. All goes well as long as the other party stays in line. If he or she deviates, however, then problems immediately arise in the relationship. If one party becomes interested in natural healing, for example, the other person may feel extremely threatened and run away or try to bring the person back into the fold, so to speak.
In contrast, worry over beliefs and ideas are not a feature of first and second center relationships. Here the needs that must be met are not intellectual, but more physical or hormonal. For example, in a typical second center relationship, one could care less what the other person thinks about, as long as the sex is available. In many first center relationships, ideas also do not matter as long as needs are met. But in third center relationships, ideas and beliefs that are different are felt as extremely threatening to the relationship.
Third center relationships are also extremely common on earth today. They work out well, in fact if the two people continue to think alike. If they do not, then fighting ensues and the egos battle it out until usually one or the other leaves.
Third center love is similarly concerned with control, primarily. If you love me, you will do this, think this way, and hold this belief and not that one. This is not truly loving at all, as many have figured out. Many of these people discuss in earnest the idea of “unconditional love” because that is what they seek. They do not realize, however, that this means they must embrace or at least tolerate ideas that they find offensive, such as capitalism.
Anger. Third center relationships and love are also about anger. The third center is the home of anger in a human being. Some people are surprised when a seemingly loving person becomes violently angry when certain ideas or beliefs are brought up and discussed as rational and good. This is because the anger was always there, and just covered up with another belief system, namely that I am a totally loving person. However, it is not true. This is the irony and sadness about liberalism around the world. It seems so loving because the people involved convince themselves they are loving, when they are really extremely angry people with just a veneer of love and concern on the outside.
Vampirism. First, second and to some degree third center relationships are really about gaining advantage over another person through some kind of dominance, or manipulative tactics. One way to understand this is that one person can literally steal etheric energy from the other through a relationship of some kind. This often causes subtle imbalances, depression, disease and even death in one of the members of the relationship or perhaps in both of them, since they can each steal energy from the other, in some situations. This interesting phenomenon in relationships is often called energetic vampirism, and is the subject of another article on this website.
On a societal level, the same is true. The unions gain money and power by controlling the business or the government agency. The real interest of the teachers union is not teaching children, but stealing money, as much as they can, for their members. This is being made painfully obvious, in spite of any rhetoric to the contrary. It is a societal example of vampirism.
FOURTH CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
The fourth center is located at the level of the nipples in the center of the chest. It is just behind the thymus gland. This gland protects the body and actually nourishes the body in unusual ways. This center is concerned with nourishment, give and take, and relationships based more on friendship.
It is also the center that is involved more in business relationships, which always involve a certain type of give and take in which each person still is vying or competing for what he or she wants, but realizes that the way to success is to give the other person or company or nation what they want, too. So it is a little less selfish, and not as competitive, although it can look very competitive. This is actually a ruse, in fact. It is about interacting for its own sake, for profit, yet, but for mutual profit.
Capitalism. Capitalism is a philosophy, not just a business model. Capitalism is about garnering resources and then trading with others to benefit both parties equally. That is the essence of capitalism, not what is taught in school. Capitalism is about real love for others, in fact, although it clearly has selfish aspects to it as well. But the capitalism realizes that only by satisfying the customer, loving the customer, giving the customer what he or she really wants, can the capitalist succeed. This is a level of love that is not found in the lower center relationships discussed in the paragraphs above.
Fourth center relationships as business relationships. Fourth center love and relationships between men and women often resemble business types of relationships. They are more professional, one might say, and much more caring. Each has his needs and goals, and the other person tries to meet these needs, in return for having his or her own needs and desires met.
As a result, things are much smoother, there is much less manipulation, lying, cheating, and stealing of energy. Each literally wants to please the other, if possible. There is real give and take, real compromise, real interaction to a degree, and real exchange of subtle energies between the individuals.
Cooperation. There is much more cooperation in fourth center relationships. In the first, second and third center relationships, cooperation may happen at times. However it is definitely not the focus.
Friendship. Another focus is the beginning of friendship. This may sound odd, but the two are real friends, not just sexual partners, intellectual partners, or work partners in some way.
Stirring of the heart. The two factors above also often cause stirring of the heart center, which means a different kind of interaction altogether. This can lead to some beginnings of blending and melting. These are more advanced aspect of human relationships discussed below.
Fourth center love is much more free wheeling, simple and open. It is cooperative, giving and receives easily as well. It is less hung up, less demanding, and less controlling. It is the desire of most people, although there are really few fourth center relationships on planet earth today because the fourth center is not open enough on most adults to really experience and enjoy a fourth center relationship. This is changing, however, quickly, in fact. People are now looking hard for a mate or friend who will help them have this type of loving relationship that is not about raw power, not just about sex at all, not just about control and beliefs, but something more fluid and more fulfilling to the heart.
FIFTH CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
The fifth center is located at the Adam’s apple, near the thyroid gland. This gland has to do with energy and specifically about speech and expression. The fifth center has to do with how well a person is expressing and loving in a giving way, or how a person is projecting or extending his love into the world or into another person.
Relationships based on the fifth center usually have to do with work in the world that is done in harmony and love. Rather than a business relationship, as in the fourth center type of love, the fifth center type is more like a team effort. It is no longer about me and you, but about us. It is about what we can do together. It is about how two heads are better than one, to use a common expression. It is two blending into one.
This is rare on earth, but it occurs and can cause a very happy and productive type of relationship. Each must be even less selfish, even less concerned with his or her own needs, and more concerned with the needs of the couple, especially in relation to their work in the world. If one must sacrifice in some way for this, it is done without hesitation. If one must suffer a little personally, it is fine. If it means less sex, less control, or less money, it is okay if it is done for the couple and their work or expression.
Wonderful business relationships form using fifth center principles. The husband does his part and the wife does her part. It is pure cooperation, with very little selfishness on either person’s part. Unlike the fourth center type of relationship, there is not as much tit for tat, you do this for me and I do that for you. It is more about what we can do together, as a couple, never apart or selfishly.
This is very healing for the mates, and for planet earth. These relationships are rare, but are increasing. They are very fulfilling in some ways, so they work well when both parties are open to them. They are not all about work, by the way. A couple can cooperate in the arts, in music, in helping others less fortunate or charity, and in any area, even just recreation and play.
Desperately needed today. Fifth center relationships are growing because they are desperately needed today. The others are not strong enough to heal the planet as there is too much selfishness involved. So they will continue to be promoted as the answer for planet earth – couples who dedicate themselves not to themselves, but to being a dual focus of love and light for the planet.
SIXTH CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
The sixth center is located between the eyebrows, roughly, at the level of the frontal lobe of the brain. It is also at the level of the pituitary gland. This gland is called the master gland, because it influences or controls all of the other glands by secreting so-called releasing factors that activate the hormones in the other glands. It also controls thinking in unusual ways.
The sixth center is concerned with wisdom and knowledge. Relationships based on the sixth center have to do with using a relationship to learn things and become wise. This will seem odd to most people, but relationships are wonderful learning and wisdom tools, if one allows it. One can learn tolerance, playfulness, seriousness, honesty, integrity, sexuality, putting yourself in another’s shoes and so much more. This is an aspect of relationship that is not stressed nearly enough on earth.
Sixth center thinking is quite rare, but growing. People want to learn more about themselves, about the opposite sex, and about all things. As a result, sixth center relationships are developing quickly, especially in the developed nations such as the United States and parts of Europe. They are quite satisfying because the focus is on learning, not on getting your needs met or other selfish goals. They offer endless possibilities, in fact, as a couple, so they are wonderful laboratories, one might say.
Wisdom is the outcome of sixth center relationships and sixth center thinking. This is the highest goal of human relationship, in fact.
SEVENTH CENTER RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
The seventh center is located near the crown of the head. It actually begins at the pineal gland, and spreads upward and outward toward the crown of the head. The pineal gland is located near the center of the brain and has to do with receiving light and other energies into the body. It is a very unusual gland because it actually can move and tilt a little.
Relationships based on the seventh center involve receiving light and other energies from other realms and moving these through the physical body, sort of bringing heaven to earth, one might say. This may sound unusual, but it is not. Human beings are very capable of bringing to planet earth wonderful ideas, inventions, concepts and more. The computer is one such invention, for example. Someone dreamed it up in his head, and brought it down to reality and a device that can be sold and used by everyone.
Man-woman relationships based in the seventh center are quite rare, today, but have to do with using the relationship as a tool to bring heavenly and other energies to planet earth. This is a bit esoteric, and has to do with subjects discussed later in this article. Two can do this better than one in most cases, and the relationship is built around and designed to serve this goal and no other. It is not an earthly relationship, in this regard. It is not about the individuals at all, in fact. It is about bringing heaven to earth. Some religious couples do this, for example, dedicating themselves totally to bringing through godly energies to the earth. Some preachers and their wives do this, dedicating themselves totally to “the lord”, as they call it. Other than these, few are willing to dedicate themselves to anything of this nature to this degree.
Doing it with a partner or companion is easier in some ways, but more difficult in others, as one must be aware of the needs of the other person at all times, so that the project does not harm oneself or the other person. Many of these relationships end in cancers, for example, because the people overwork themselves, literally working themselves to death. They are not integrated enough, so they overdo in some areas and do not care for the body enough. They are often called martyrs, but in fact they are just not clear and wise enough to handle what they have taken on. This is the fate of all too many who seek a seventh center relationship, unfortunately. This website is the antidote for martyrdom of this kind.
These relationships are about the total unification with spirit, annihilation of the ego or lower self, and evolution of the soul as assisted by working and playing together as a couple. It is a very noble goal and one discussed below under the topic of tantric loving relationships.