THE INDIGO CHILDREN
by
Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© December
2015, L.D.Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All
information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment,
prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
A
new type of child is appearing today who is very intelligent, very sensitive
and often needs special care.
These are called the indigo children. The Indigo Children, (1999) by Nancy Ann Tappe discusses
evidence from over fifty psychologists, doctors,
teachers and parents that indeed a new type of gifted child is emerging. The book also discusses what these
children are like and how to handle them.
Let us meet the indigo children.
WHAT IS AN INDIGO CHILD?
According
to the authors of The Indigo Children,
here are some of the childrenŐs common traits:
á
They are very
intelligent, and very oriented toward their purpose on earth.
á
They come into the
world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it).
á
They have a feeling
of deserving to be here.
á
They often tell
the parents "who they are".
á
They may seem
antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like
consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human
understands them. School can be very difficult for them socially.
á
They will not
respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets home
and finds out what you did").
á
They are not shy
in letting you know what they need.
á
They often have
lots of energy.
GIFTED OR TROUBLED?
Mental
health professional are interviewed throughout the book. Nancy Ann Tappe and others emphasize
that indigo children can be difficult to deal with, especially if they are not
treated correctly. If they become
frustrated by their environment, they can become aggressive, angry and even
violent. This can this help
explain some of the problems in the schools. Literally millions of children are labeled ADHD and almost
nine million children are drugged for this as early as age 3. Other problems of our young people
include depression in record numbers, and even bipolar disorder diagnoses that
have risen from 20,000 ten years ago to over 800,000 today.
On
a positive note, however, these children are bringing great positive changes to
our planet. For example, one of
the qualities of the indigo children is that they often have a high IQ. In fact, according to psychologist, Dr.
Kathy McKloskey, an excellent way to identify Indigo Children is to test their
IQ. They will generally score in the high or even gifted range, at least in
some sub-set of the test.
Over
the past 50 years, school test scores have generally fallen, but IQ scores have
risen significantly. I will quote from a book called The Rising Curve: Long-term Gains in IQ and Related Measures:
"IQ scores have in fact shown an astonishing rise in the past 50 years,
and scores between white and minority students are converging".
THE SCHOOLS ARE FAILING THE INDIGOS
It
appears that the school system is not prepared for the indigo children. It often stifles their gifts and
prevents the expression of the high IQ.
According to the National Foundation for Gifted and Creative Children,
many gifted children are mistakenly thought to be 'learning disabled'. I will quote, "Many gifted children
are being destroyed in the public educational system and falsely labeled ADHD.
Many parents are unaware that their child could be gifted."
The
same foundation lists the following characteristics to help you identify if
your child is gifted:
á
Has high
sensitivity
á
Has excessive
amounts of energy
á
Bores easily - may
appear to have a short attention span
á
Requires
emotionally stable and secure adults around him or her
á
Will resist
authority if it is not democratically oriented
á
Has preferred ways
of learning, particularly in reading and math
á
May become easily
frustrated because they have big ideas and lack the resources or people to
assist them in carrying these tasks to fruition.
á
Learns from an exploratory
level, resisting rote memory or just being a listener.
á
Cannot sit still
unless absorbed in something of their own interest
á
Is very
compassionate. They often have many fears, such as death and loss of loved
ones.
á
If they experience
failure early, they may give up and develop permanent learning blocks.
á
May withdraw if
feeling threatened or alienated, and may sacrifice their creativity in order to
'belong'
Notice
how closely these qualities match the description of the indigo children and those of many children diagnosed
with ADHD, depression and other Ňmental problemsÓ.
PARENTING AN INDIGO CHILD
Much
of The Indigo Children is devoted to
how to parent an indigo child. The
book offers many examples and principles of parenting and discipline that are
helpful for these children. Here are some of them:
1. Treat Indigos
lovingly and with respect. Honor their presence. Do not talk down to them, or
they will not respect you. All the
words in the world will have no effect if they are not treated lovingly and
respectfully.
2. Listen to them,
be present with them, reason with them, and talk with them like adults. If you can't be present with them, tell
them so. You can say "I need
to relax for a while and just read the newspaper. Then we can talk about
this". They don't care so much as long as you are honest. They know
quickly when you are lying or acting phony.
3. Answer their
questions, rather than brushing them off. If you don't know the answer, say so,
but attempt to find out. And keep your word. Their questions are valid.
4. Give them choices
about everything! Indigo Children appreciate being included in decisions, and
they need choices. For example, rather than tell your indigo child to wash his
hands, you will get better compliance by phrasing it as a choice: Do you prefer to wash your hands in the
kitchen or the bathroom?
Rather
than, "Sit down for dinner", say "Where would you like to sit
for dinner?"
5. Discipline
them, rather than punish them. There is a difference in intent that is
enormous! Help them create their
own disciplinary solutions. For
example, if a child misbehaves, try asking the child to consider an appropriate
punishment or better, an appropriate consequence. This is a much better word to use. You
may be surprised when they come up with the disciplinary action themselves, and
are content to go along with it.
6. Be creative
when setting limits. Allow for extra physical energy, for example. Also, let the
child's strengths drive the limits, not their weak areas as much, if
possible. You might be surprised
what your child can do. Above all,
ask the child to help you set the limits.
How
well they cooperate, of course, depends on many factors. However, many will be glad to set the
limits, with your help. These children
need clear boundaries, but some freedom within the boundaries.
7. If these
children act arrogant, it is usually because they are bored. It is a sign they
need new challenges or new boundaries. Keeping them occupied is the best way to
keep them out of trouble. However,
since their bodies are quite delicate, in fact, keeping them in quieter
activities, rather than rushing around all day is often a wise idea.
8. Never belittle them
- ever! This means to avoid
discipline by shame or guilt. Instead, set up reasonable but firm rules and
boundaries, expected discipline and punishments, and stick with them. Help them work through their issues and
requests, rather than just saying "The answer is no".
You
can say to them, "When I was your age I did that, and this happened as a
result. Now how would you handle this situation?" If you don't chat with
them, they will assume you don't know the answers or don't care.
9. Always explain why
when you give them instructions.
Listen to these reasons yourself! Do your reasons sound stupid, such as
"because I told you so"?
If
so, revisit them and change them. Your child will respect you for this. If you
just bark dictatorial orders without good reason, you are likely to meet fierce
resistance.
Simple
reasons for instructions will often suffice, such as "because I am tired
today". Honesty will go a long way with these children.
10. Make them partners in raising them. Think about
this one a lot.
11. As infants,
explain to them everything you are doing.
They may not understand, but your attentiveness and honoring of them
will be felt and appreciated.
12. If problems
develop, have the childŐs IQ tested
before you label them and drug them.
Also, read the article on this website about ADHD before putting any child on drugs. Read other articles on this website
before giving any child drugs for infections, depression or other common
diagnoses.
One
reason for this is that drugs are often unnecessary, as is labeling children
unneeded in many instances.
However, the indigo children are even more sensitive to drugs in some
cases.
13. Always provide
safety in your support. Do not use
negative criticism. Instead, express your support for their endeavors. They
will often rise to meet your expectations, and shock you in doing so.
Then celebrate together. Encourage them, but do not force achievement,
either. These children may rebel
if forced into anything, even good things.
14. Don't tell
these children who they are or who they will be. Let them decide who and what
they are interested in. Don't
force them into a family trade or business, for example. They are definitely not followers.
15. Be flexible in
your viewpoint and expectations for these children. Maybe doing well in school is not the most important issue,
for example.
These
children often know they have a mission, or work to do. School performance may
not be the critical factor in their upbringing.
Much
more important may be to preserve and
protect their creativity and integrity. These qualities are now much more
important for a person's future success than their ability to perform on rote
exams or going to the right college.
HEALTH ISSUES
Many,
if not most of the indigo children, are misdiagnosed as ADHD. In fact, Dr. Kathy McKloskey says if a
child is diagnosed with ADHD, often they are Indigos. Yet they are not learning disabled!
In
fact, their IQ is generally above average. They simply learn differently,
require a different learning environment, and often resist the kind of absolute
authority that characterizes most school systems.
Drugging
the children, say these psychologists, is not the answer. It does not improve
school performance and may have frightening side effects. The media seldom reports that most
school shootings are by individuals on prescribed medication!
There are many alternatives to drugging.
Nutritionally, these high-energy children often improve when sugar and
stimulants are completely eliminated from their diets. Nutritional supplements
for those tending toward ADHD include calcium, magnesium, high quality fats and
oils such as fish oil, choline and inositol.
The
Indigo Children book also lists other
natural therapies that can help these children better manage their bodies and
minds. If ADHD is a concern,
definitely review the school situation and your parenting techniques carefully.
THE SCHOOL ISSUE
The authors state that the school system must
change if it is to work for the indigo children. Several psychologists interviewed
recommended alternative education systems such as Montessori schools, Waldorf
Schools or home schooling.
Montessori
schools are based on the work of Maria Montessori, an Italian educational
pioneer. They are the largest alternative school system in America. Waldorf
schools are based on the research of Dr. Rudolf Steiner, a German philosopher
and educational pioneer.
For
more educational information, see the resources at the end of this
article. Each child is
different. Thus various schooling
options may need to be tried.
SENDING POTENT,
POSITIVE MESSAGE
Indigo
children can be challenging! As a
parent, teacher or counselor of these children, you have your work cut out for
you. Remember, we are never given
any challenge that is greater than our ability.
Read
The Indigo Children. It can provide
hope and some answers. Above all,
remember to play, laugh and love with these children. They have much to give
and they are our future.
Resources
1. American
Montessori Society, New York, (212) 924-3209.
2. ADD Action
Group, New York, (212) 769-2457, www.addgroup.org
3. Association of
Waldorf Schools of North America, Fair Oaks, CA (916) 961-0927
4. Carroll, L. and
Tober, J, The Indigo Children, Hay
House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA, 1999.
5. National
Foundation for Gifted and Creative Children, Warwick, RI, (401) 738-0937.
6. Neissser,
Ulrich, ed., The Rising Curve: Long-Term Gains
in IQ and Related Measures, American Psychological Association, Washington,
DC, 1998.
7. Tappe, N.A., Understanding Your Life Through Color,
Starling Publishers, CA, 1982. Available from Awakenings Bookstore (949)
457-0797.
8. Since the publication of The Indigo Children, several
other books have come out that supposedly deal with indigo children. I have not reviewed these books so I
cannot recommend them outright.
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