GIVING
AND THE LIFE OF SERVICE
by
Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© June 2014, L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All information in this article is for
educational purposes only. It is
not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health
condition.
Giving is a part of everyoneÕs
daily life. Some giving goes on
unconsciously as we interact with each other and our environment. On the other hand, knowing when, where
and how to give consciously so as to have a positive impact is an art we can
work on our entire lives.
Giving as a way of life is also
sometimes called a life of service.
This is a noble way to live that pays many subtle rewards. These are the subjects of this article.
LEVELS OF GIVING
People
give on many levels. At one
extreme are private prayers, hopes and requests for others that are often not
shared with anyone. Another level
is simple interpersonal giving, whether to friends, family or strangers whom
one encounters.
One may also give of oneÕs time,
effort or money as part of an organization such as a church, or giving through
a service group such as the Rotary Club, United Way, Salvation Army or
thousands of other charitable groups.
Finally, we give money through taxes to hundreds of governmental
ÒcharitiesÓ such as Social Services, public schools, government research, and
much more. This is not exactly
giving because the money is taken or confiscated by force. However, it is a lower form of charity
to some degree, one could argue.
The essence of all giving has to do with sharing the love that you are.
CONSCIOUSNESS AND GIVING
Human
beings often go through several stages that impact their giving. Young children and many adults tend to
be self-centered. They see themselves
as the center of the universe and giving to others is not prominent in their
consciousness. They tend to take
much more than they give.
As
some people mature, they realize that their well-being and happiness are bound
up with the happiness of others.
They begin to reach out.
This leads to a greater tendency to share what they have with others
less fortunate.
Martyrs. An extreme of sharing is
martyrdom. This is a disregard for
the self, directing most of oneÕs energy toward the welfare of others. Martyrs believe that the self does not
count for much.
While martyrs have done much
good, much evil has also been committed in the name of martyrdom. Most recently we see the Islamic
terrorists who are all too willing to Ògive it allÓ (give their life) for some
vague reward in the future.
Martyrdom can be wonderful if the reasons for the selfless acts are
scrutinized carefully enough.
A mature spiritual position is
to be centered in the self in order to know how to care for the self, and yet
to feel at a deep level the connection between oneself and everything on the
planet, including all of humanity, and even the plants, animals, the land,
water and the air. One can then
learn discernment as to how, when and where to share oneÕs time, energy, money
or skills. The goal becomes
to maximize the benefits for all and to best assist the development of oneself
and all others to produce a mature, spiritually oriented society and planet. This is not an easy task and one that
takes a lifetime of practice.
MOTIVES FOR GIVING
In
accordance with the above, motives for giving vary greatly. One may give to a college so your child
will be accepted there. Another
may give money to a cause so as to look good in society, or to impress friends
or family, or to assuage the guilt one feels because others are not as well
off, or perhaps because one acquired oneÕs money is a less than honorable
fashion.
Giving may also be out of a
genuine desire to of help, or because you recognize your connection with others
so deeply you know that you will not be truly happy until others are happy, or
at least cared for.
When
ego or selfish motives cloud the giving process, the results tend not to be as
good. Many who give fro guilt or
fear tend to spoil others, for example, or to give in other ways that are less
effective for the recipient. Thus,
it is always good to examine your motives for giving on a regular basis.
GOVERNMENT CHARITY
An
increasing phenomenon today is for people to turn the business of charity over
to the government. Traditionally
in America, the role of government was strictly limited by our federal and
state constitutions to such functions as making treaties, raising an army and
navy, maintaining the roads and post offices, collecting taxes, and just a handful
of other duties. Constitutional
safeguards have been set aside, however, and in the past 100 years the American
government has grown much larger.
Today, people vote for
representatives who in turn decide to have the government support education, hospitals,
medical and other research, extensive social service networks, emergency relief
such as FEMA, and much more.
The feeling is that somehow individuals cannot do this. Hurricane Katrina should have taught us
differently, but it did not.
It is critical to realize that
government welfare differs from private welfare in a very important way. Government funds are collected at the
point of a gun. That is, if one
does not pay oneÕs taxes to support all these activities, one goes to
jail. This is quite different from
Catholic Services, for example, which is totally voluntary. If one prefers to donate elsewhere or
simply withhold donations, one is perfectly free to do so.
It is unfortunate that this
distinction is not made clearer, because charity, to be charity, must be
voluntary. When it is coerced,
there are many negative consequences for both the givers and the
receivers. For the givers, forced
charity causes resentment and anger when the taxes are due. It also turns many people into cheaters
and liars as they seek to minimize how much they must ÒgiveÓ to their
government. It also makes people
feel they have fulfilled their duty to society by paying taxes, so they can
ignore the poor and others in need.
In other words, it builds selfishness in subtle ways.
For those receiving government
welfare, there develops a handout mentality or entitlement mentality. That is, people believe that they are
entitled to welfare, when this is not really the case. They often become lazy, do not want to
work, and even become angry and resentful because the opportunity to work to
earn money is taken from them.
They also often become very angry when the welfare is either inadequate
or worse, if is it cut off. For
the nation, government welfare is extremely inefficient and costly. It is based upon sending billions or
trillions of dollars from individuals to government centers. Then the money is shuffled around by
thousands of bureaucrats who must oversee its collection and distribution, and
then the money is sent back to the states and the cities. This involves costly collection costs,
costly processing and costly distribution costs because at each step they must
try to avoid the three-headed monsters of fraud, waste and abuse. These are very difficult to control in
a centralized bureaucratic system.
Fraud and abuse occur, for
example, when people want a benefit or welfare who donÕt need or deserve
it. It also occurs if people cheat
on their taxes. It also occurs
when organizations such as hospitals, clinics, food banks and other recipients
of government money cheat or lie or steal to obtain more government
welfare. It also occurs when
individuals who run these programs personally cheat, lie and steal some of the
money they are supposed to administer.
It also occurs when the government bureaucrats themselves cheat, lie and
steal some of the money they are entrusted to manage. They can do this in many ways, such as paying themselves
very high salaries and good benefits that divert and remove a lot of the tax money
from the poor and sick people for whom it was intended. Waste is also rampant in these programs
because massive paperwork and literally armies of Òwelfare policeÓ, who are
bureaucrats hired to police the system, are required to try to control the abuse. They do this by requiring recipients to
file a lot of paperwork, for example, that wastes everyoneÕs time and
energy.
As a result, in all nations that
have government welfare programs, they are full of corruption, greed, and
abuse. This is not to say that no
good comes from ÔforcedÕ government charity, but much evil comes from it as
well. these problems can occur as
well in private charities, but the difference is that without a distant
bureaucratic centralized system, the problems of waste, fraud and abuse are far
easier to see and control. Also, a
private charity that abuses its mission is often exposed and is forced out of
business. So it acts more responsibly
out of fear. Government welfare
agencies are today ÒexposedÓ for what they do all the time, yet they rarely
face any consequences and they almost never are terminated or go out of
business. They are often protected
by unions and by politicians who, themselves, are part of the cheating, lying and
stealing that occurs in these welfare agencies.
It is all too easy to say, Òlet
the government take care of the poor and the sickÓ. Yet most people do not realize the many problems this
mentality creates, and that it just does not work nearly as efficiently or as
well morally, psychologically or financially as private welfare. People who believe this feel they are
compassionate, yet often they just donÕt want the responsibility
themselves. They would rather pay
taxes and let someone else worry about it.
SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF GIVING
One can give from fullness or
from emptiness. Giving from
fullness means that one is first filled from within. One gives as an overflowing of oneÕs
bounty or time because one has an excess of love, energy, money or other
talents, goods or services to share.
An analogy is to imagine holding a glass under a spigot until the water
overflows the glass onto your hand and the surrounding area. The water is shared because there is
extra.
Giving
from emptiness,
however, is the more common way giving occurs. It takes place when one gives out of compulsion, shame,
anger, fear or other motives, often in spite of a deeper desire to relax and
nurture the self. While all giving
is wonderful, this type of giving often leads to burnout.
RECEIVING
From the above, it is evident
that giving has much to with receiving.
They are bound together in mysterious ways. Some people give in order to receive, and it works well for
them. Others give and become
depleted or Òburned outÓ, and some even become bitter or disillusioned. These are not easy issues to clarify,
as our unconscious thoughts and motives are often not obvious.
An important
principle in this regard is to include oneself in the circle of oneÕs giving. Receiving has to do with allowing the
self to be nourished and nurtured so as to be able to accumulate or store up
the necessary energy, time, money or talents with which to give. Thus giving to oneself in order to give
to others is a critical principle.
This is done because one realizes oneÕs own worth, and the part one
plays in the whole picture of giving and receiving. To imagine that the self does not count and others are more
important is incorrect at best, and extremely destructive at worst.
UNINTENDED RESULTS OF GIVING
Giving can sometimes produce negative
results. In America, the poor are
becoming poorer, more dependent and even angry and more demanding of those that
provide charity. After Hurricane
Katrina, a large number of people became angry at the help they received,
although technically no one ÔowedÕ them anything at all.
The entitlement mentality has
taken such a hold in America, thanks to massive government welfare programs,
that at times recipients of tax monies or private charity do not appreciate the
help and take it for granted.
Giving properly involves
understanding the needs of others so deeply that you are aware when you have
overdone it, as there is much people are better off doing themselves.
Sadly, one of the motives for
giving is exactly this - to make the recipients more dependent, not less
so. Those who run welfare agencies
often wish to protect their jobs and their powerful positions. The best way to do this is to ensure
that their services will be needed more and more. Thus the policies they adopt, even if arrived at unconsciously,
often seek to perpetuate the poverty or disability that they are in charge of
correcting. All welfare states
eventually suffer this problem.
More and more people mysteriously become impoverished and needy, until
the system goes bankrupt and collapses.
Thus giving is complex and
requires plenty of reflection so as not to spoil others, not to create
dependency, and to avoid burn out and disillusionment by the givers.
Although there will always be
those who cannot take care of themselves, most people can and need to learn how
to manage their money, and how to make a living. These are critical skills in any culture. When deprived of learning opportunities,
even by well-meaning do-gooders, they are made more helpless and
dependent. Proof of this in our
nation is the existence of an entire class of welfare-dependent people who only
know how to milk the system to meet their needs. In Europe, these people are Òon the doleÓ and they may
constitute up to twenty of thirty percent of the population. They are not happy, even if their needs
are taken care of.
In general, private charities
are much more aware of these dangers of giving, and much more motivated to
uncover and deal with them.
Statistics consistently show that private welfare groups, when allowed
to compete fairly, do a much better job than the government at welfare, at a
fraction of the cost of government welfare systems. However, few voices are raised to utter this fact among our
state and federal representatives.
Perhaps this is because Congressman have jobs to defend as well. The more the citizens are weak and
dependent, the more secure are the jobs of those who cater to these groups in
our society.
To realize that ÔforcedÕ giving
through taxation is not the same as when it is voluntary and to reflect on your
motives and the outcomes of your giving are worthy exercises for everyone.
RADIATING LOVE
Radiating love is a special type
of giving that does not spoil people or cause them to become dependent. In fact, it can help them to wake up to
their true power. First
Corinthians in the New Testament of the Bible states ÒIf I give all I have to
the poor yet have not love, I gain nothingÓ. - 1 Corinthians 13:1-8.
Buddhists speak of compassion, a
sensation or warmth that some people radiate to all whom they meet, no matter
what is the situation. One may
radiate love when one is the garbage collector, a letter carrier or just a
passerby. Even one who lays dying
in a hospital bed can radiate love.
Your position does not matter, nor does your technical skill or
expertise. What does matter
is a desire to radiate the love that you are to all whom you meet, all of the
time, even if the other people do not realize what you are doing, do not care,
and may even be antagonistic or hostile toward you.
In the end, radiating a loving
quality is often more important than giving things, money, or even your
time. For if you do it, your
giving will be felt as genuine, while if you do not, your giving will miss an
essential element of human kindness and will not be felt to be as real, no
matter how hard you try. This is
more of a problem with forced giving, as in government welfare that is
ÔmandatedÕ. It is not as much
about love, but rather follows bureaucratic rules. The recipients and even the givers may feel this, and they
know that something is missing.
CONCLUSION
Giving
or service to others should be an integral part of daily life, a way of living
and being that occurs unconsciously with every breath. It should not be isolated and separated
in a government agency or just giving at church on Sunday. Giving with love, for the right reasons
and at the appropriate times, however, is not often easy to learn.
Many times when we believe we
are giving sincerely we give with the expectation of reward or return, or with
another motive that is less than ideal.
However, let us continue to work with our motives such as gaining favor
with others, allaying our fears or pacifying our friends and families, and
giving from a deeper place will become easier.
At the same time let us continue
to strive for the highest form of giving - from fullness, from deep within, and
to extend the love we are with every thought, word and deed.
References
Many books and articles are
available about giving, mainly from spiritual or religious texts including, of
course, the bible. Some material
for this article came from newer book, A Course in Miracles. If this book is difficult to fathom, I have written a brief
summary of the principles in an article entitled entitled The Universal Curriculum and in a
somewhat more detailed book, The
Real Self.
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