WHY ARE SOME WOMEN SO ANGRY?
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© January 2010, The Center for Development
Many women are angry, more so than their male counterparts for many reasons. These are important to understand because it is one key to overcoming anger. The women, of course, need to understand them well, but so do men. Men to understand them so they will not be tripped up and blame themselves when their women get upset over nothing and express anger when it is really not justified. This can save a good relationship, for example. Here are some reasons why women tend to be angrier than men, as a group:
FATHERS AND OLDER BROTHERS DID NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE THEM PROPERLY
Not loving a young girl properly is very common. Here some may disagree, but I believe that all women need the love of a mature, detached, non-sexually involved man in their life. It is a fatherly love that they crave. It is basically the love of the creator or god, but in human form. Men, of course, need this, too. However, for women it is even more important because most men will not love them this way and so they need the balance or the excellent example so they can grow up properly centered and relaxed, and find the right man to marry or mate with so they will remain relaxed and centered. When they do not find this type of mate, women become unhappy and often furious inside, which usually destroys them, and perhaps destroys their marriages, mates and children as well. So this is why the correct love of the father, and perhaps an older brother, is so important for girls, in particular, and young women as well.
Many different scenarios of improper love for a daughter are possible, such as:
Š Spoiling the child. This is usually due to sexual games, or simple immaturity on the part of the father, or some other kind of ego interplay with the daughter or with the wife, perhaps.
Š A father who loves his daughter so much he fears harming her in some way, so he avoids loving contact and healthy intimacy with her. This occurs quite often, in fact, especially if the mother is loving, so the father defers to her for giving the girl hugs and so on. This, I contend, is a big mistake. Girls need the love of a father as well, as it is quite different in effect and feeling from the love of the mother.
Š Unavailable in some way. Sometimes the father must be absent for work. At other times, the father is simply emotionally cold or uneducated as to how to express feeling and say the right things, so he feels awkward and withdraws. Sometimes a father is so intimidated by his wife that he just gives up and lives in his own world, allowing mother to raise the children. This is very accepted on earth today in most nations, but harms the daughters a lot.
Š Resentment by the daughter or, perhaps, her mother, distances the daughter from her father. This is also extremely common. She wakes up too late, often, to realize what she or her mother have done to her and how much she misses the love of her father that was there for her. This is a common and sad refrain found in middle-aged women who have often had unhappy marriages and cannot figure out why.
Š Father may be a bad example – perhaps alcoholic, or a poor provider, or perhaps the cheating type. This engenders tremendous anger in a daughter and wife, at times, though it should not. They need to have compassion, but often it turns to hatred that separates the daughter from her father.
Š Inability to love. Many men simply do not know how to treat a child. This goes for women as well, by the way. Women, however, tend to be a little gentler than men, which the children need, especially at a young age.
Š Some men do not like having children around, and this can be felt by the children easily. If a man does not like children, he should not have them. The same is true of women, of course.
Š Some men simply do not relate well to women, due to their own unresolved and unforgiven traumas. This can affect a young girl who cannot understand why her father is distant, or mean, or acts strangely in some way.
Š Intense sexual attraction between father and daughter. This is often a karmic situation that needs resolution. It is a very delicate matter, as neither the girl nor her father fully understand the attraction and either may subtly encourage it, making it worse. The daughter might parade around half naked, for example, not realizing at all what the effect is on her dad. The man may also walk around with just a towel on, or less, not realizing how it affects his daughter. These are delicate matters to resolve carefully with the help of a counselor, if possible.
Š Fathers who abuse children are not that common, but it occurs.
Š Other. Some fathers really wanted a boy, so they take it out on the girl child and perhaps even try to make her into his baseball partner or golf companion. Such aberrations are not uncommon and represent areas of immaturity on the father’s part.
BIOCHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL REASONS
These causes are not primary in most cases, but can be very important. Women’s bodies are generally more sensitive than men’s bodies. One reason for this is that women reproduce and healthy reproduction requires a clean, toxin-free body. It is as though women are signaled more than men when their bodies are unclean, toxic, deficient or otherwise out of balance. This means that while toxicity is rampant in men as well as women, the women may be affected even more.
Copper toxicity. Copper is a gift, but also a special problem for women. Most girls today are quite copper toxic. This has to do with their mothers, who often gave them far too much copper in utero and not enough zinc and selenium to balance it. The problem is made much worse by vaccines, medical drugs, especially antibiotics, poor quality and deficient diets, vegetarian-leaning parents, and later by the use of all manner of birth control devices that increase copper such as the pill, the patch and the new copper or pill IUD.
Copper toxicity enhances all of one’s emotions, including anger. It also makes it much harder for a girl to control her emotions, as they can be so overwhelming, at times. Men must realize this problem that most women have, in fact. Their emotions just run wild, especially before the menstrual period, which today can start early for many young girls. For more on copper, read Copper Toxicity Syndrome and Copper Elimination Symptoms on this website.
Toxic chemicals. Enhanced emotions are also due today to enormous chemical toxicity from the environment such as eating meats and dairy that are too high in female hormones, a very common occurrence. Also, some pesticides that are widely used mimic estrogen and also inflame the body and the girls hormones, leading to rage and anger. Even eating wheat and beef, both of which tend to be pro-inflammatory foods today because they are mineral deficient and very hybridized, can inflame the emotions.
Iron toxicity is another common problem of women and men today. Iron that settles in the brain commonly enhances anger and rage. Iron toxicity comes from mineral deficiencies, where iron replaces them, and from eating white flour products, coffees, teas, chocolate, and rarely from eating too much red meats. The soil in some areas is high in iron, and many fertilizers add too much iron to the soil, raising the iron content of the soil. Women lose some iron each month, but it is not enough of a loss in most cases, to stop the problem of iron overload. To read more about this serious condition, read Acquired Iron Toxicity.
Other toxic metal overload is also common in young girls today, though perhaps these are not as bad as copper overload. For example, high mercury, and definitely high cadmium or lead cause rage and unusually emotional thoughts and behavior in many girls. If a girl grows up around cigarette or marijuana smoke, for instance, she will be hardened, angry and often ill from it. We find this repeatedly as the lead and cadmium are eventually released from the body, but it takes years of nutritional balancing, more than most people want to dedicate to their health and healing.
Alcohol and drug use. Women are known to be more sensitive to these toxins. Most often, they just cause further nutritional depletion and emotional confusion for the women, which often eventually reinforces their angry state of mind.
Other biochemical factors. In most cases, women are slow oxidizers. Now and then one stays in fast oxidation for some reason. This state of body chemistry is even more associated with feelings of anger and rage.
Sympathetic dominance is also very common among young women and some men, as well. It may be due to anger, or it may engender or cause anger as well, as the person is somewhat ineffectual and tired, but keeps pushing hard with an effort of will to achieve what she wants in life.
INCREASED INTELLIGENCE AND SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT
This one may seem odd, but some women who are very intelligent are extremely angry because they can see the truth about life around them better than their peers, especially their male peers. This they often do not know how to handle. Their response is one of anger instead of one of grace and compassion, the correct response.
Most of these girls and young women sadly ignore their intuitions and feelings and “go along” with the crowd. However, the intuitions remain and can lead to terrific anger as they watch others behave in irrational, immature, stupid or dangerous ways. Others withdraw and just stew in their own anger and often turn it inward, where it becomes depression. Still others speak out, but it is often with anger and rage, which can make them even worse by feeing their emotions.
The problem of the more intelligent and more spiritually aware young girls and women is probably the saddest plight. After all, they are the most wonderful young people we wish to nourish and encourage in their quest for truth and real love. Unhappily, they are often found in dysfunctional homes so the parent do not understand them, they have few good friends, and little contact with spiritually-minded adults who can guide them properly.
Religious schooling or church attendance may help but often is not nearly enough, and sometimes just puts more wrong ideas in their heads. They need a different kind of education, different friends and adults around them who have a clear head and can see their potential and at least commiserate with them that, yes, most people in the world are very immature, very silly, and often live crazy, dangerous and insane lifestyles. This is what is needed for them. If they had this, they would likely relax and just focus on their own lives and careers without as much anger.
This cause for anger may seem odd, but many young women are exhausted. This also goes for many single mothers, but that is not the focus of this article. too many young women just stay up too late, party too much and generally do not care for their health. One effect is they become even more irritable, angry and out of sorts. This cause for anger is the easiest to correct, by far, although it may require a new type of lifestyle that some young women seem to reject.
IMPROPER EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION
Many women feel uncomfortable expressing anger, as it does not appear to be “feminine” behavior or proper thoughts. This is primarily an education problem, learning how to express anger without hurting oneself or others. This is not taught in schools or in most homes.
Thus these women bottle the anger up inside, appearing sweet and delightful when really they are burning up inside. This will eventually come out in some form of thoughts, emotions or behavior that can be quite violent and extreme. If it remains bottled up too long, it leads to cancer and other serious physical or mental illnesses.
This cause is very prevalent among the wealthy, the proper women and the girls who are raised to be very proper and “nice”.
ANGER OVER BECOMING AN ENERGETIC VAMPIRE
This is not pleasant to talk about, but girls often become energetic vampires, especially when raised by immature or absent fathers or by mothers who themselves are energy vampires. While the girl learns how to suck energy from men, in particular, but also from their mothers, they also become angry about the whole thing. This is deeply unconscious in most cases. It is not a popular topic, but it is important in some cases. For more information about it, read Energetic Vampirism on this website.
SIMPLE IMMATURITY AND LACK OF GROUNDING OR CENTERING
Other women are simply immature. They would prefer to blame others for their difficulties, rather than face their own shortcomings or needs for security, companionship, etc. This is a common phenomenon today in America, in which many young women are terribly spoiled as children and then have difficulty coping as adults.
Grounding means having your “feet on the earth”. It is a quality of maturity, but more so, it is a quality of spiritual development that usually requires specific exercises to develop. Most women today have more trouble with it than men, and it can easily engender anger when a woman realizes she is not clear about things and life is not as she thought it was.
This is associated with a pattern on hair tests of sympathetic dominance, and possibly a calcium shell, or even four lows pattern. For more information, read Keeping Your Feet On The Ground on this website.
OTHER ASPECTS OF THIS PROBLEM ARE MORE SUBTLE
Women are not the same as men in more subtle ways, as I have come to understand. The brain is not exactly the same, and the differences can lead to anger more easily in some cases. Copper is higher, and often so is iron in some women. This can displace selenium, a mineral that is needed for spiritual development. This may be another more subtle aspect of the differences between men and women.