THE SEXUAL ORDER
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© June 2012, The Center For Development
WHAT IS THE SEXUAL ORDER CONCEPT?
The sexual order is a subtle concept that is important for all man-woman sexual relationships, in particular, but really for all relationships in which a man and a woman are mated and must make decisions together.
The sexual order concerns subtle differences between men and women, in most cases, that tend to impact their relationships with each other.
This article only concerns relationships in which a woman is involved with a good or decent man. Women must learn not to associate at all with liars, cheaters, players, alcoholics, drug users and others like this.
The essence of the sexual order is that the male needs to take the lead in most aspects of the relationship until the woman reaches a particular level of maturity in which she can understand and practice what may be called “a male view of the world”. This sometimes occurs early in a woman’s life, even during childhood if she is raised correctly. In other cases, it never occurs. However, in most cases, it rarely happens until she is 30 or older, and usually after 40 or 50 years of age. This is the essence of the sexual order. The reason for this is that women attract entities to themselves that lodge in the vaginal area that distract them and affect their judgment. This happens to all women, regardless of age, sexual activity or anything else. Men do not have this problem, so their judgment, in general, is better than that of women.
I know this concept will anger many women, and so be it. However, it is a valid idea and anyone who studies entity science will understand it. For more on this interesting topic, read Entity Attachment And Release on this website.
When I speak with couples, I notice that some women seem to understand this idea intuitively, while others fiercely object to the idea. Those that seem to understand it well are usually mated to a very good man, and so letting him lead is actually a pleasure for them.
Obviously, if one is mated to an erratic, unstable man or a dishonest man, then letting him lead is far scarier and more dangerous, in fact, and should not be done. However, rather than take the lead, the woman is often better off leaving the man entirely and finding a better one to lead her.
If a woman cannot find a great man who wants to be with her, then she is generally far better off alone, mated to God, as it were, and not to any man. She can also mate to her father, figuratively, of course, or to a male friend, work colleague, or to anyone else she wishes, in a figurative sense only, obviously.
LEARNING TO APPRECIATE THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE
At a more practical level, the sexual order is about a woman learning to appreciate and therefore to trust a good male partner with their lives, their bodies, their sexuality, and most everything else. This is an unpopular concept today, but I think it is one that needs to be discussed openly, even if you violently disagree with the idea.
I realize this idea is unfamiliar to many young women today, who are taught that they basically don’t need a man, or he’s just good for money, sex and other good things. So in this regard, I will sound old fashioned, perhaps. But this is the concept.
It means that until a woman reaches a certain stage of maturity, it is best for her, within a man-woman relationship, to take a back seat, as it were. This does not mean she is a doormat, or should allow any abuse, misuse or unethical behavior on the part of her partner or mate. However, it means that she must learn to trust her mate. If she cannot learn this, she is better to get out of the relationship and either be on her own, or mate with someone else whom she finds she can trust.
It also means that a woman should blend with her man, and not the other way around. This is a complex subject, but very important as well. For more on this topic, read Male-Female Blending on this website.
WHY IS THERE A SEXUAL ORDER OF THIS KIND?
1. Physics. This requires a little introduction. Yin and yang are ancient Chinese words that describe fundamental qualities of all physical matter, including our bodies and our brains. The meaning of these words is basically that yang is more male, more contracted and warmer. Yin is more female, cooler, and more expanded. This is very basic, but enough for this article.
Today, the entire population of the world is quite yin. This is due to planetary conditions, radiation toxicity, toxic metals and toxic chemicals in the environment and in our bodies, a depleted food supply, the use of medical drugs and vaccines, and other reasons. As a result, more yin energy is not helpful. In fact, it causes a common health condition that I call yin disease. It is most common in women, who are generally much more yin than men, and includes yeast infections, depression, low thyroid and adrenal glands, and other common symptoms. This is discussed in an article on this website called Yin Disease.
Today, healing requires more yang energy. This is a key to nutritional balancing science, as compared to all other nutritional and medical systems of healing. This is discussed in a separate article entitled Yin and Yang Healing. With this brief introduction, let us address an important difference between men and women and how it impacts relationships.
Men are more yang, which means more extroverted, more comfortable in the world in most cases, hotter, angrier, more hardened and condensed. Women tend to be much more yin. This means colder, retiring, introverted and more fearful. Yang or yin are not better than the other. They are complementary opposites. However, a more yang quality and more yang attitudes are usually 1) more balanced today and 2) much better for making wise decisions in society and in relationships, in most cases.
Being more yang, for example, helps men to do better in the rough and tumble outer world than women, who often prefer a more protected environment. Men, for example, are often far less concerned whether they are liked. This is a yang tough quality, and due to many factors, perhaps. However, it is an important factor in making the best decisions. Women, by contrast, are more easily swayed by pity, emotions, sentimentality and other yin attitudes. This tends to hinder wise decision-making in most, though not all, cases.
Men are also physically stronger, while women are weaker. This means women are far more easily frightened and intimidated by roughnecks and thugs of all persuasions. We see the effects of this in elections, for example, when union leaders and thugs, including the Occupy Wall Street people, use violence and threats of violence in an effort to control the nation. Women are much more subject to intimidation by these people than are most men, simply because men are better able to defend themselves against it. This means men often make better decisions when dealing with thugs, of which there are many in the world.
2. Hormonal differences. Women’s monthly hormonal changes tend to make her behavior and her thinking much more erratic and unsteady, even from day to day, at times. I know some will challenge this idea. However, aware women usually know this, and they appreciate the steadiness of men in this regard. Steadiness and consistency are important to make the best high-quality decisions.
3. Physiology besides hormones. Women are copper-dominant, while men are zinc-dominant in almost all cases. This is a physiological fact that men just have more zinc in their bodies, while women have more copper in theirs.
More copper gives women and girls many good qualities, such as softness, gentlenss, creativity in some ways, and others. However, it also makes them more emotional, more “spacey” and more gullible. It also causes many of them to be often less grounded and less centered than men. This is especially true around the time of the menstrual period, even in menopausal women.
More copper in women easily impairs logical thinking and substitutes either emotional thinking or idealistic, irrational, and ungrounded thinking qualities. This often results in poorer quality decisions.
4. Chakra differences. In the men, the first, third and fifth energy centers or chakras spin facing outwards. In women, it is the reverse. This fact of esoteric anatomy connects men better than women with the earth and with the higher bodies or higher self.
Women, instead, are more connected with sexuality, and with other people. This is a great advantage, at times, but it puts women at a distinct disadvantage in making certain kinds of wise decisions that are very important for our society at this time, and at all times.
5. Other energetic differences. (Men are more in touch with the “father” energy). This will sound unusual, but men’s higher zinc and selenium levels, in many cases, and their energy center differences described in the paragraph above put good men in touch with an etheric energy that is more difficult for many women to contact and connect with for sustained periods of time. It may be called the “father energy” in Christian terms.
This particular energy gives men a certain stability and practical quality of which women tend to have less. Zinc is called the gentle strength mineral, and the balancer. Women tend to waiver more, and be less sure of themselves. This can benefit them in some ways, but it hinders their ability to lead, in most cases.
Perhaps for these reasons, men seem to do better at stepping out first into the world, and, in fact, in leading in many areas today, even raising children and cooking food, areas that are traditionally controlled by women in most societies. This is true today, although it was not true in the past when the universe was much more yang and the feminine energy was the balancer. Today the true male energy is the balancer. Most men, by the way, are in horrible shape and so many do not exhibit the qualities I am describing, but overall they are better than most women. I have to generalize because it is a general article only.
6. Other psychological differences between most men and most women. Women often have more of a need to be loved, and this may predispose them to be slow to move on, even when this can be extremely important at times. This quality is not helpful for making important decisions that involve risk.
Women tend to be more concerned with appearances than men, especially today in Western society where body shape and appearance seems all important to young people. Most men are much less concerned with this area of life. Men often prefer to just work hard, play when they can, and not show off the body or take too much interest in material things.
While appearance may be important, at times, it is not a good value upon which to base important decisions. So men tend to be more practical in this area. A pre-occupation with beauty and appearance, in fact, occurs in many degenerating societies, and it contributes to their downfall. It happened in Rome, in Greece and it is happening in modern America and Europe today. It is always destructive, sadly.
Women tend to be more sentimental, and in part for this reason, they tend to be more gullible. These qualities also do not lend themselves to making high quality decisions.
THE SEXUAL ORDER PROTECTS WISE WOMEN
Far from harming women, the concept of the sexual order has to do with protecting women from harmful tendencies in their thinking process, until such time as they mature and get past them, when they can.
The sexual order can therefore protect women from poorer quality decisions, and protect them from relationship breakups that do not need to happen but occur because emotions take over, or sentimentality takes over and decisions are made that are not wise, even though they are often sanctioned today by modern counselors, psychologists, physicians, leaders, and others.
WHAT THE SEXUAL ORDER IS NOT ABOUT
The sexual order has nothing to do with anyone’s value or intrinsic worth in any way. This is a common misconception about it. Also, the sexual order is not about who is better, more important, more loving, or who comes first in the relationship. In fact, the one who leads in any relationship or position must be there to serve.
Instead, the sexual order is simply about who is best fitted to make most decisions when there is a disagreement or different points of view. It has to do with who leads the way and who follows, especially when disagreements occur.
This applies, by the way, to things like voting in elections. A couple should ideally vote together for the same candidates. When they do not, it is not helpful for the relationship. So if there is a disagreement, ladies, go with your man’s judgment most of the time to keep the peace and often to do the right thing, though it may not seem like it to you. Men, as many know, tend to vote much more conservative and less liberal than women. This is good, I maintain. Candidates must mainly conserve what is good in society. This has not happened recently, and chaos always results when too much change occurs too fast in society, even if the change is ideally good.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SEXUAL ORDER IS NOT HONORED OR IS REVERSED?
When the sexual order is not understood and respected, relationships tend to be more contentious and rocky. They also tend to fall apart needlessly over small disputes.
Men. In many cases, the man who is not trusted by his mate to take care of her will feel somehow exploited, ignored, used, neglected and even abused. This may sound very odd to some modern women, but it is true. A good man knows inside that he should lead, not to boss around his partner, but to protect and care for his more yin partner, even if he is not the “smarter one” in the relationship.
Indeed, mature men always enter a relationship not to exploit a woman, but to care for her properly. Please read that statement many times, as it is the truth. When a woman cannot allow this, or cannot accept this concept, the man is abused or used – perhaps as a sugar daddy, a sex object, or just a bodyguard. Men are more than this, or can be, and as such they deserve the trust of a woman when they attempt to literally and figuratively protect, nurture, nourish and truly love her, even if it is done imperfectly, as it sometimes is.
Women. When the woman leads, she may love the idea, but most feel insecure, though they often will not allow these feelings to be seen by others. Also, the couple’s decisions that are made with the woman in charge usually, though not always, are of poorer quality.
Sadly, many women are either so spoiled or so traumatized early in life that the very idea that a rather ordinary man would want to marry them or at least live with them in order to protect and care for them seems impossible. This is indeed sad, but it is the legacy of the modern liberal era in which all things male have been denigrated and opposed as being too rough, crude, harsh, unfeeling, etc.
This is simply not the truth. There are immature men, for sure, who are violent, unfaithful, alcoholic, arrogant, raping, and so on. However, as stated above, this article is not about relationships involving those men. Women must learn not to associate with the immature men at all if they care about their safety and happiness.
ABUSE OF THE SEXUAL ORDER CONCEPT
It is true that things can turn ugly in the sexual order. The woman’s feelings can be trampled, or she can be left out of the decision-making process altogether. She can be pushed around or bossed around needlessly to harm her. She can be raped during intercourse if the man does not stop exactly when the woman desires it. In other cases, the man is simply not in touch with spiritual matters for some reason and he is the superficial, appearance-oriented, gullible, ungrounded one. In these cases, the woman tends to suffer more in a relationship.
However, even in these and other situations, often the sexual order should be honored. If a woman finds this intolerable, she should leave the relationship and find a man with whom she can live in peace and in trust.
Many attractive young women attract the immature type of men and become disgusted with most men. The idea of allowing a man to “run her life” and “control her” then sounds despicable, and intolerable. However, ladies, this is usually because you have chosen to pay attention to the immature, jerky men and not to the good ones out there who would only love you, not use you. They are often the more “nerdy”, less physically attractive ones, but a wise woman figures this out very quickly and stops looking at the body and starts paying attention to a man’s thoughts, feelings and behavior, not his looks, which can always be enhanced, if needed, with better clothing or better hygiene.
LETTING HIM LEAD IS NOT THE SAME AS LETTING HIM “RUN YOUR LIFE”
It is more about getting his input and allowing him to move you along in certain ways that may seem odd or harsh, at times, but are often helpful, if you examine them closely. This assumes, once again, that one is mated to a good man.
There is also nothing wrong with letting a good man control many aspects of your life, if doing so will move you along in your maturing process. Maturing women know this, as do maturing men. There is nothing wrong with following your pastor’s advice, for example, if it is wise. In the same way, there is nothing wrong with following the advice of a wise or maturing man in a man-woman relationship. Be very clear about this.
Too many psychics, psychologists and counselors mislead their clients by telling them they must always “be in charge” of their lives. This is simply wrong advice. Often the opposite is true. Letting others lead you is a wise move for most people, most of the time. It will keep you safer, cleaner in your thinking, and you will become mature much faster. To read more about becoming mature, read How To Mature Faster on this website.
THE “FATHER ENERGY” AND THE SEXUAL ORDER
Both the Hebrew and the Christian bibles speak often of the “Father” and the “Father Energy” as the object of our prayers and desires. They do not speak of the “mother energy” as the object of prayers and worship. Worshipping the mother energy is more common in the older pagan religions such as earth worship, and in New Age religions and radical environmentalism. Here, worshipping mother earth is common. This is related to the sexual order.
The bible makes it clear that the man should be the head of the household. I maintain that this is a valid idea, provided that the sexual order concept is understood correctly. In other words, it does not mean that the man is the dictator and the woman is his slave. Quite the opposite, in fact.
He who leads or rules must be the servant to those whom he rules. This is a complex idea, but one that applies to families, as it does to governmental leaders who are wise. They serve the people, and they must not forget whom they are to serve. When they begin to serve themselves first, it is time to replace them quickly.
PROBLEMS WITH THE NEW AGE AND GAIA MOVEMENTS
Some of the problems with the New Age movement and the radical environmentalist movement or gaia movement can help illustrate what occurs when the woman leads. Things often turn vicious and dictatorial, and decisions are made that are simply wrong or out of balance.
Recently, for example, it was discovered that information about global warming has turned out to be false, and indeed was faked. Some will disagree with this, but recently a series of scandals emerged indicating that scientists faked their data in order to support the climate change argument when the data do not support it. In other words, poor decisions were made, perhaps to save face or to win grant money.
Also, environmentalists were used by forces they did not understand – forces of socialism and communism. These negative beings easily exploit the gullibility, idealism and enthusiasm of the environmentally-oriented people for their own dark purposes to control society.
Also, emotion too often leads the way, and anyone who does not agree with their position is branded or labeled as cold, unfeeling, heartless and so on. The smearing of personalities, class warfare talk, race baiting, and attacking people, rather than arguing for concepts, occurs because the environmentalist’s ideas cannot be thought through logically in too many cases. This is what I would call immature female thinking, victim thinking, and extremely unwholesome thinking, and very common in the political, economic and other realms of society today.
If we go even deeper, underneath the emotional appeal of the gaia movement and radical environmental thought that still rules America and prevents her from using her own energy resources, for example, there is a lot of anger, divisiveness, and hatred of anything male. While there are reasons for upset, the underlying hatred of oil, for example, skews the thinking and the decision-making of these people, leading to unrealistic and stupid policy decisions. Oil, of course, is hot and a more yang energy source.
While it is not a new problem, America, in particular, is suffering badly under this syndrome with President Obama, who embraces the female view entirely, and obviously does not like the more male view of society. This is one of independent people making independent decisions that can be trusted. He does not trust, so he wants more government control, not realizing that this just paralyzes the society and leads to financial and economic ruin, as has already occurred in Europe today. These are what may be called macro examples of immature female thinking that may help explain the sexual order.
WHEN THE ORDER MAY BE REVERSED
In a few cases, if the man and woman agree, and only then, they can reverse the sexual order. A possible reason for doing this is if the man is very ill or very depressed and beaten up in some way, perhaps. In this case, the woman may take over his role to a degree. Even in these cases, however, it is usually best to maintain the sexual order as much as possible.
The sexual order is quite a subtle idea that I have just introduced in this short article. I hope it does not offend anyone too much, and that I have provoked some thought about an idea that is hard to “prove”. However, wise women know that most men are just steadier, more independent, and more grounded and centered than women are, as a general rule.
Therefore, most wise ladies ask for and learn to trust and allow their more grounded partners to make most decisions that affect the couple and the family unit, as they will often be the best decisions. This is a subject worthy of more research, as it can be a key to joy and peace in man-woman relationships.