DEVELOPMENT AND SEXUALITY

by Lawrence Wilson, MD

© Revised, July 2008, The Center For Development

This article presents basic facts of life and how they affect your health and spiritual development. This is a very important article, especially for women today, although men can benefit greatly from the understanding presented as well.

WHAT IS SEX?

Sex is far more than exchanging body fluids. It has to do with reproduction of the species, first and foremost. It also has to do with what is called yin and yang, the polar opposites, and their interaction on this plane of existence.

Sex is about genetic mixing to assure a healthy new generation. On this plane, all creativity occurs by the joining of opposite forces. These include heat and cold, expansion and contraction, male and female in the animal world. Copulation among the species of animals and humans, however, is to mix genetic material or DNA to assure the quality of the species, and really nothing more.

As many know, some plants reproduce asexually, but all higher animals use sexual reproduction because it is better. If not, the idea would have died out millions of years ago. Thus, sexual desire is built into our genes to build a better race of people.

Thus, sex is a body function, like having a bowel movement. It should not be what life is about, what love is about and what one’s life is built around. This is the media influence and not much else.

MEN ARE HORMONALLY DRIVEN MORE THAN WOMEN

This is another important fact, although it will be challenged by some “authorities”. It is the design in order to reproduce the species and that is all.

It is not bad or good. It is just the way it is. Women, in particular, need to understand it because men generally do not want to understand this fact. Men tend to think sex is fun and is just their “nature”. Women need to know it is mainly just hormones.

In practice, this means that when a man says he is in love, it is often lust and no more. It is not really about love, which young people have very little understanding about.

LOVE IS NOT SEX, ROMANCE OR ANY FEELING.

1. Love is not sex. I know this is a difficult one. Sex, as explained above, is a body function to reproduce the species that is made pleasurable in all animals so that the animal will take the time and energy to reproduce. That is all. It is not love or hate or anything else.

2. Love is not romantic, though sexuality can feel romantic as the hormones do their work on your mind. However, love can be emotional in the sense of caring and compassionate. However, love is not about showering praise, hugs or anything else upon another person, animal or thing.

WHY NOT HORMONAL LOVE?

Why can’t the two be combined, you may ask? The reason is that they are completely different. There is little common ground. Hormones are chemicals that act on our bodies to produce feelings in the sexual organs, the brain and elsewhere. They are mechanical effects, basically. Love, in contrast, is an attitude, something else completely. It is a function of the higher thought processes.

Most people, especially young women, are confused on this point. They believe that if a man is attracted to them, he must love them at some level. This is not true. Read this again if you are not sure about it.

LOVE IS AN ATTITUDE

Real love is a quality of the higher mind. Love is patient and love is kind and respectful. Love is never in a hurry for anything. Love is tolerant, soft, kind and gentle.

Read this description again if it sounds strange or unfamiliar, please. If your man or woman or friend or parent is not acting in this way, it is not love, pure and simple.

Love is a special kind of friendship. It may be described as a desire for the best in another. A friend in this sense is a person whom I love so much that I will always aim for the highest in the other and bring attention to that which is not the highest. Few friends will actually do this for each other.

Tough Love. This gives rise to what is called “tough love”. This means what when one who is in love sees that another is not living up to their best, it will be pointed out. This is not always well-received, especially if the other is looking for all praise and hugs.

Love does not bargain for sex. It also means that love does not cause anyone to take advantage of the weaknesses or personal desires of another for personal gain.

I mention this because even the concept of tough love is often easily misunderstood and misused.

For instance, many people say, “I am only hurting you for your own good”. It can even be used as a sexual tool of manipulation, as in, “Let’s have sex because I know you need it and want it”. Yes, she wants it because she wants love and this is as close as she feels she can get to the real thing. But sex is not love, ever.

THE CULTURE WAR

Some say there is a culture war going on in America and around the world. I think this is true. Ignore it at your peril. Here are the two sides and their basic beliefs about sex so you can decide where you stand.

The liberals. On the one hand are the media, in general, and many politicians, school teachers, hippies and college professors today. They say we are just glorified animals who are hormonally driven. Since that is our nature, we may as well enjoy it, including as much sex and other things as we want. Other includes drugs, sugar, and all sorts of “pleasures” of many kinds.

The Conservatives. The other side usually consists of Jewish and Christian people and some parents who have learned the hard way. They assert that we are human and spiritual, not fundamentally animal beings.

This is the spiritual view. It claims we are capable of love, which is not true of the animals. Animals can be kind and gentle at times, but usually only when happy and relaxed. People can look higher and think much more than any animal. It means we are not to confuse our animal instincts with love.

Young people must know that the liberals are the same people who want a socialist nation. This is one in which the government controls the people, not the other way around. However, they know that in order to do so effectively and completely, the people must not be thinking clearly. They also know that a person who is drunk on sex, or drugs, or any other stimulant, will not be able to control his or her life very well.

This is the critical idea. Who will control you – you or someone else. This principle is well understood, for example, by those who want to get you in bed, ladies, or those who are “hookers”, gentlemen. If you are “sober” in terms of sex and other stimulants and depressants, then you will tend to be in control.

Therefore, don’t fall for the liberal view if you want to be in control of your life or if you are interested in spiritual development, which requires excellent control.

CASUAL OR RECREATIONAL SEX

This section will not thrill many women. I am sorry about this. I will suggest that if you don’t know the man you are sleeping with extremely well, ladies, you are stupid.

For men this section is important, too, of course. However, it is not as important as it is for women.

This is harsh, but it has to do with realities that are not pleasant to talk about. The three problems with casual sex, as many have found out later, are 1) sexually-transmitted diseases, 2) emotional draining and 3) more subtle energetic damage that shows up as fatigue, depression, low self-esteem, disappointment with oneself and the inability to connect with excellent quality men.

The idea of casual sex. Casual sex is based on the belief that men and women are basically animals, like dogs, pigs and the others. They have sexual “needs” that must be met in some way. If society does not allow them the normal means, they will misbehave anyway, so why not just sanction it. And since we are sanctioning it anyway, why not say it is cool, hip, and really great.

Flaws in the argument in favor of casual sex. The first flaw is that we are not just like dogs and pigs. Interesting that these words are used negatively to describe people who engage in casual sex and similar behaviors.

The second flaw is that our sexual desires are not needs, no matter how you think about them. They are urges of a biological nature. However, unlike the need to use a bathroom on a regular basis, the sexual nature is a small part of human anatomy and an even smaller part of higher human functioning.

Flaw number three is that even if one is having a terrible urge for sex, it does not make casual sex any healthier or more wholesome a behavior.

Now let us move on to more happy subjects.

MARRIAGE AND SEX

The sexual act is so sacred it is forbidden outside of marriage in most cultures. There are good reasons for this. Let us examine a few of them:

1. Sex often transmits disease. This should be an obvious reason for monogamous sex, but we’ll mention it anyway.

2. Jealousy and rage around sexual desire causes murder every day. Marriage is a convenient way to avoid these problems, provided one stays within the boundaries of their marriage oaths.

3. Marriage causes stability in society. Sex by itself without rules tends to create sexual pecking orders, with some on top, no pun intended. This is extremely unstable and changing all the time. This is not healthful for any society.

4. Marriage provides the best way to raise children for financial, social and other reasons. Sex without marriage causes many problems of unwanted and uncared for children.

There are other reasons for marriage, such as economic reasons. Single parent households are often less well off. Other reasons are for the protection of women, both legal and physical. And there are others. However, these are enough for now.

ATTITUDES ABOUT SEX AND CHILD-RAISING

A woman’s attitude will affect her unborn child more than she can imagine. If she is angry with her partner, it shows in the child’s auric or energy field. This affects the child for months or years.

If she is unhappy at the time of her sexual act, even this can affect the child as well. This is why many primitive cultures had marriage rituals to prepare a couple for sex. They may sound silly, but they can make a difference.

Also, after conception was confirmed, many older cultures would take the mother-to-be aside and teach her what to expect and how to behave so as to have a healthy child. This, too, would be wonderful for modern women, who often don’t have a clue as to what she should expect and the important effect her feelings and behavior have on the infant inside.

FATHERS

Here is another area of disgust, in my opinion. Many people assert today that fathers are unnecessary. They just get in the way, basically. The welfare state can support the women and children, they say, while the fathers go drinking or whatever.

This attitude is more prevalent than one may imagine, especially among the socialist groups such as the Democrat party. Fathers are often blamed for all the problems of our society, with its “male dominance”, and so forth. So I will comment on this.

The father’s presence in the child’s life is important, though not as critical biologically. Men don’t breastfeed, in other words. However, they bring balance to life, just as women bring balance to men.

The male influence is most helpful, especially for girls as they grow up, so they will have excellent role models of men to mingle with later. Of course, men are also important as excellent role models for boys or all ages. However, with the girls, a man is important in their life for a certain type of balance, even if the man is not the best. This is a truth that is not nearly well understood enough in modern society.

In other cultures, “elders” functioned in this role, assisting all the women and men to have role models to emulate and respect. This has to do with spiritual development more than anything else.

For this reason, the liberal view that men are largely irrelevant is horrendous. Even if the man in a girl’s life is the best, he is important.

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE

Most young people, and many of all ages, simply do not believe this is possible until it happens. They think they are somehow immune.

The truth is, it happens most of the time. It may not cause a sore, a rash or a pain. But it occurs for a simple reason. The tissues are in contact for a while and germs love this warm, moist area of women’s bodies, in particular.

Men have fewer problems with some sexually transmitted illnesses, because they are not warm and moist in this area. If men bath quickly after sex they can remove a lot of the germs. Women cannot. Women must douche if they want any protection at all.

Douching. Most young women do not understand this vital health procedure. It is simple and quite fast, in fact. It needs to be done within an hour of having sex. Here is the procedure:

Sit on the side of the bathtub, facing into the tub. Fill an enema bag with tepid or warm water, using at least a quart or more. Ideally, use filtered or spring or distilled water, though it is not too critical. Fill the bag entirely if you are not sure how much to use.

Add at least one tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide from the drug store. Colloidal silver is even better – at least two tablespoons if you decide to use it instead. However, I do not recommend store-bought commercial douche formulas, which contain harmful chemicals in some cases.

Let all the water run into you and back out again. Do not stop and hold the water. Just let it run in gently and cleanse the entire vaginal area, inside and outside as well. Then dry the area and get dressed. That is all there is to it.

Do it each time you have sex, even if it is your husband, I would suggest. This is because there are infections in almost everyone and it is just a good idea.

This procedure was taught at one time, even in high school, to all young women, believe it or not. However, we have become a society of pigs, unfortunately, who do not attend to their cleanliness as they could.

If your man thinks it is silly, ugly or gross to behold, then just close the door and do it anyway. Do not be swayed by a man’s protests that he is clean. He doesn’t know in most cases, as the man rarely feels the germs on his skin. However, they are there in most instances.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND OTHER BIRTH CONTROL “CLINICS”

I worked at a Planned Parenthood location in Cincinnati as part of a medical residency. I was shocked how little warning was given to young women about the dangers of the pill (and even worse, the birth control patch or the pill IUD combination).

The birth control pill is one of the worst drugs in existence. This is well documented in the medical literature. I do not understand why it is not more widely known. If you care about your health, do not use birth control pills, patches or the pill IUD.

In addition, little was said about sexually transmitted disease. I asked why condoms, which can provide some protection if used correctly, were not the preferred option. I was told it was too much trouble and spoiled the fun.

I came away disillusioned and disgusted with these clinics and their attitudes. Let us review a few facts:

1) Pills, patches, and IUDs are not 100% safe. This means a women can and often does get pregnant while using them. That is the fact.

2) Side effects of pills and patches, in particular, include birth defects, personality changes and a much greater risk of cancer, heart disease and strokes if a woman stays on them any length of time. One study reported that just having taken the pill increases the risk, even if one quit years ago.

3) STDs are real. These methods do nothing to protect against them.

4) Women think they are invulnerable with these devices. This is untrue and gives a false sense of sexual security, if one could call it that.

CONDOMS

Condoms are one of the best mechanical birth control methods if used right. However, they must be used each and every tie and one must check to be sure they are in place.

Here are cautions with condoms:

1. They often fall off during sex. They can fall on the floor and not be noticed until hours later. They can break and you would not know it, and just a small tear is all that is needed to negate their effect.

2. They are not 100% effective because of the preceding problems.

3. They may prevent pregnancy, but do nothing against emotional stress that having sex can cause, especially for sensitive women.

4, Most contain latex and lubricants that can cause rashes and even infection in some women. So beware of condoms, but they are better than nothing any day.

HAVING CHILDREN

Girls need to know that most boys don’t care about children nearly as much as girls do. This is biologically programmed and important to know. Boys are programmed to be more oriented toward business, politics, war and other societal events and activities.

Girls take the lead in the home, raising children, education and other activities. This is not simply cultural, although it is certainly influenced by culture. It is also biological, I would submit.

BIOLOGICAL RESPONSIBILITY

Girls are also more responsible, in general, than boys. This, too, is programmed biologically, I believe. And it is not a bad thing.

Boys are programmed to be the aggressors, keeping the enemies at bay. They are more rough and tough than girls. Any attempt to change this will fail, ultimately, as we are seeing with boys in our schools. The only way to control them is with drugs, and the drugs have serious side effects.

COURTSHIP

Courtship is important, girls. It is about getting to know one’s a potential partner. The old idea of a lengthy courtship had a few problems, but was a much better system than the casual sex approach seen these days at times.

Courtship provides two people time to get to know each other in different circumstances. If done properly, it allows each to evaluate the other carefully. Please do not ignore the concept of courtship, ladies. A good man will go along. If he does not, you are better off without him. Just make your intentions and your feelings clear so he won’t think you are just “stringing him along”.

SUMMARY

Here is a brief summary of the above.

1. Know that sex and sexual desire are not love. In fact, feelings are never love. Love is an attitude that is uniquely human. Hormones are something entirely different. They are not bad or good, and they are not love.

2. Tell your dates what you want. Hopefully you want love and relationship, not a piggish casual sex. If the date wants something different, so be it. You will be better off without him or her.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. This approach will discourage the hormone-driven types.

3. Leave the hormone-driven types of men and women to their own kind. They carry diseases of which medical science is just learning about, like AIDS. You are far better without their attention, even if it means being home on Saturday night in front of the television or with a book.

4. Use a condom and douche after sex, if at all possible.

CONCLUSION

Sex hormones are far out of balance in many people. It is producing mutants, as it were, whose attitudes are not the usual ones. There are many reasons for this.

Pesticides mimic estrogen, creating effeminate men. Nutrition is horrible, leading to nutrient deficiencies, metal toxicity and many more physical imbalances.

Many women are too sick or tired to raise a family and take responsibility for it. As a result, they vote for the state to be the nanny and daycare the answer. I submit this is all sickness.

Please, parents, protect your children from the societal secular attitudes that will destroy them if you allow it. The girls have no protection in the public schools whatsoever. It is here that they learn the false values and often meet the hormone-driven boys who seem so tempting.

The home-schooling movement is growing for many reasons. This is but one of them, and is an important one. It is a way to control what your child hears, sees and is taught. Only this way will girls learn about having children at an early age. Then they can prepare their bodies and minds for the challenges and rewards it entails.

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