HATRED AND ITS EFFECTS
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© December 2011, The Center For Development, Inc.
Hatred is a special type of attitude. It is a deep aversion or revulsion. In this sense, it is a running away from something in a very profound way. It is also an ego trait that is very common in human beings.
Hatred is a way to shut down the mind to a degree, in order to handle overwhelming stress or trauma. One simply says “No” to the situation or person, and this revulsion or rejection is called hatred. In this regard, hatred is always a generalization and a false conclusion.
Another word for it may be prejudice, which takes a few incidents or qualities or a person or group or something else and then generalizes from it. Hatred is of this nature.
Our minds are designed to reason inductively. This means we can take a few facts, and we can generalize and draw conclusions based upon them. This is an important mental faculty. However, if the faculty is not well balanced with deductive reasoning and wisdom, which is a quality of doubting, confirming and re-affirming our conclusions, we often end up with judgment and then it turns easily to strong aversion and hatred.
Hatred is therefore a hardening of the mind and spirit in a direction of revulsion.
HATRED MAY BE THE RESULT OF POORLY DEVELOPED BOUNDARIES OF THE PERSONALITY
If one is not sure of one’s boundaries and identity, it is difficult to separate oneself from others. One becomes enmeshed, as it were, with others and this is very uncomfortable and often unacceptable to the personality.
Hatred is one way to forcefully separate yourself from others, or from ideas and concepts that one wishes to separate from.
Another way to say this is that if one is not properly attached to or clearly dependent upon and in touch with the Creator or Source, one will tend to go back and forth attaching and running away from other people, money, things, and situations.
In other words, hating someone or something is a quick way to detach, so seemingly so – to erect a boundary for yourself from others or from a situation.
Also, the deeper one feels, the more difficult it can be to establish good boundaries, and therefore the more likely one may go into hatred. Perhaps this is why some women become hateful, as they often feel more deeply than many men. However, this is a generalization that is not true for all, certainly.
THE OPPOSITE OF HATRED
The opposite of hatred is not love. It is attachment or clinging desperately to someone or something. Oddly, however, hatred also attaches you to the thing or person you hate. This is a very important principle of hatred. Hatred is so strong an aversion that it creates a rebound effect in the person in some sense that attracts the person back to the thing or item hated in order to be averse to it over and over. In this sense, it is like resentment – to feel again and again – from the Latin root of the word.
Hatred, like resentment, can feel like candy in the mouth. It has a sweetness about it because it builds up the ego and makes you feel very superior to the thing or one that is hated. After all, you would never do or be like that which you hate, so you are therefore superior. This is the way the ego puffs itself up with hatred, as it does with resentment. The only difference is that resentment is more of a feeling inside, as is anger, whereas hatred is more of a mental attitude rather than an emotional feeling. Indeed, hatred is devoid of feeling, often. It is just a silent undercurrent, often a sullen, depressed, withdrawn aspect of the self that one carries around all the time, no matter what. This is the nature of hatred.
HOW IS HATRED DIFFERENT FROM DISLIKING SOMEONE OR SOMETHING?
Dislike is a preference. Hatred is a fixed aversion or attitude that is a final judgment, as it were, upon someone else or some-thing. Dislike is discernment, while hatred is a judgment. Dislike is okay and does not cause disease and projection. Hatred always involves some projection of guilt, and always causes disease in oneself and war with others. Hatred is always guilty in this regard.
CAN YOU HATE YOURSELF?
Definitely. In fact, this always goes along with hating anything else. Indeed, correcting your self-hatred is the best start to letting go of hatred of others. It also works the other way around. It you can stop hating another, often you will also stop hating yourself.
EXAMPLES OF HATRED IN THE PUBLIC ARENA
Common examples of hatreds are prejudices against black people, Jews, Catholics, or the common today hatred of the bible and all religion. Other hatreds can be homophobia or hatred of those who believe differently in any way than you do.
Politically, many people secretly hate freedom and do not trust the common man to make decisions for himself. This is called elitism, and it is a form of hatred of the commoner. In times past, this was obvious as the “upper classes” literally thumbed their noses at the “unwashed masses of the people”, feeling they were worse than dirt and did not deserve any rights from the government. Thank heavens, that time has passed, but the idea lingers on in the system of government called social democracy or socialism. America was to be different, but she, too, has descended into a land of hatreds in some instances, too. This is sometimes called “class warfare”, in which the rich secretly loathe the poor, and the poor, in turn, hate the rich. The current American president, Mr. Obama, clearly feels this way and preaches it regularly. Movements like ‘Occupy Wall Street’ clearly have this bent or tendency within them. The occupiers want what the rich have, and they hate them, pure and simple.
In contrast, the American Tea Party movement is not full of hatred and anger. They are upset, but they are not haters. They want an end to the class warfare and class hatred that has sprung up and is encouraged by the Left-learning media and leaders in Congress, too often.
EXAMPLES OF HATRED IN ONE’S PERSONAL LIFE
Women tend to hate more than men. Men tend to be more angry, which is an overt expression of disapproval. Women, who are genereally more repressed, instead of expressing anger, easily move into the deeper pit of hatred. Many women hate all men, usually because they have been molested, raped, or just not treated very well by their fathers, brothers and other men close to them. Other women just hate their bosses, their husbands, their sons, or other males who are close to them. They will never admit it, but they demonstrate it with quick phrases, gestures, looks, and other minor indicators that would tell an observant person that the underlying attitude is one of hatred.
Hatred also runs deep in most, or many children. Children are taught to hate anything that does not taste right, feel right, or is not to their liking. The tendency or fact of teaching children to hate things is a horrible mistake on the part of parents, teachers and other adults in a child’s life. All hatred is terrible, and must be uprooted and kept away.
ALL HATRED IS MENTAL ILLNESS AND HAS VERY BAD CONSEQUENCES
Hatred is a form of neurosis, fixation, reversal and judgment. All of these words describe a type of mental illness that is always harmful for oneself and for others. If persisted in, it always leads to war with others and to disease in the body.
Hating god. Many people today hate God. They think this is a spiritual disease, and it is to some degree. But it is often just a mental illness and fixation that is due to some type of trauma that the person cannot forgive and forget.
Two kinds of atheists. In this regard, there are really two kinds of people who do not believe in God. The first type just do not know if God exists, so they cannot believe in God blindly. They may properly be called agnostics. The second type are just hateful. They hate God, who they believe perhaps took away one’s husband, wife, or child, or who allowed a rape, or who allowed child abuse or some other terrible crime to occur. One can even hate God if one loses money in the stock market or loses one’s job. These people hate God with a vengeance, and are really haters who have simply chosen God is their scapegoat.
Either way, by the way, it is very unhealthy to hate the Father energy. It is our Source, whether you agree with this or not. If you do not see it or feel it, leave it alone. Do not hate it for any reason, as this tends to backfire upon oneself. It is like hating water or food. This is not wise because we need it to live.
HATRED IS FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE, EVIL WITH MORE EVIL
This is important to see, and feel and understand. Hating is just doling out more of the same thing that you do not like in others, or in the world. “He hurt me so I will hate him”. That is the motto of the hater. It does not work.
A better approach is “He hurt me, so I will not hate him back. I will love and forgive as best I can”. This is fighting fire with water, which is far more effective. Forgiving does not mean to go along. In fact, it is never going along. Forgiving means to refrain from judging and hating, and then to take whatever action is needed in the situation.
WHEN HATRED IS UNACCEPTABLE TO THE MIND, ONE GETS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
Stockholm syndrome is a way that the mind twists the facts or reality to make it more pleasant or acceptable. Read more about it in the article entitled Stockholm Syndrome.
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORE HATEFUL THAN UNATTRACTIVE ONES
This is a generalization, of course, but often true, in my experience. It may occur because attractive women:
1. Must put up with more negative attention than unattractive ones. A common response to this type of sexual attention is anger and resentment, which easily turns to hatred.
2. Have a harder time living up to the high expectations and often sexual fantasies of others. This often causes them to secretly hate themselves as being not good enough. They become far more unhappy in many cases, for this reason, and often take it out on others, hating both themselves and then others, as well.
3. May be less accustomed to thinking deeply. The attractive ones just show up and are admired, accepted, and win jobs and husbands, in many cases, just based upon their looks. Less attractive ladies must develop their character more deeply, and cultivate the mind in a different way in order to succeed in society.
4. Often are more spoiled by society, by their parents, and by their spouses and friends of all types. As a result, they do not mature as much or as fast in most cases. When things do not go their way, they are thus more prone to the immature response of projecting and hating, rather than reflecting and thinking through situations and people in a discerning, not a judgmental way.
5. Another way to express the above is that attractiveness is often a physical illusion. It leads to living with other illusions in many cases, of which one is that by hating oneself or others, one “solves” life’s problems.
6. Hatred actually makes some women more attractive. This may sound odd, but it is true. I will not go into more detail, but it is true that harboring hatred makes some men and women appear attractive and strong, when they are really weak and mentally ill. Politicians are often of this type, appearing strong and healthy, when really they are just filled with hatred of a certain type that draws attention to themselves because they are secretly vampires.
HATRED AND HAIR MINERAL ANALYSIS
Hatred always involves iron, at least to some degree. Hatred is hard and brittle, like iron, and hatred is fixed and strong like iron as well. Often, when iron comes out of the body, a person will realize how full of hate or perhaps anger he or she is.
GETTING RID OF HATRED IN YOUR LIFE
Here are some steps to letting go of hatred:
1. See or admit that you are full of hatred and anger. You cannot get rid of it if you will not admit it is there, at least to some degree. Listen to others who tell you about your anger and hatred. Do not ignore this counsel.
2. Try to catch yourself in your anger and hatred. This is tricky to do, as the mind will disguise it, for example, with excuses or offhand phrases like “he’s really such a jerk”. Employing foul language to describe someone or something is a way that many people subtly express hatred, by the way.
3. When you catch yourself in these phrases, words or actions, stop yourself, realizing it is wrong and it just feeds your hatred and anger. Ask others in your life to assist you with this, and do not hate them for pointing out your tendency or your words. The hater’s response is to simply say that others are “out to get you”, “trying to control you” or similar ideas. Stay away from this tendency to project or blame others who point out your anger and hatred.
4. Instead of falling to the temptation to hate and judge, work on describing the person or situation in rational, mature, adult language. Do not just curse at him or it, and do not gloss over bad behavior, for example in the manner of the Stockholm syndrome. In the latter, bad behavior is viewed as okay in order that one should not feel too uncomfortable.
5. Take action rather than harbor hatred. Do what needs to be done, preferably in an even-handed and open-minded way. Learn how to “be strong, but not wrong” to quote Mr. Roy Masters. Do what you must do in the situation if someone has wronged you, for example.
6. Roy Masters states that one must often meditate properly in order to catch oneself in subtle hatreds. His meditative practice bring slowly brings up original causes - in their own order and in the mind’s own timing to heal it. Meditation also slows and calms the mind, bringing more reality to your thinking and feeling. All of these benefits, he says, thus help remove hatred and resentment.
7. A final step is asking the Creator or God to intervene in your life and remove your hatred, as it is something that most people cannot do on their own. This is how deep and how difficult hatred is to remove from the minds of most people.
PREVENTING HATE FROM TAKING HOLD IN YOU
This can be difficult, especially if you experience rape, murder in your family, severe illness, or other crimes or unexplainable events. The mind simply does not tolerate these very well and looks for ways to judge them and put them in little cubbyholes called hatreds. So-called Christian thinking can help. This is a type of mental efforting that emphasizes forgiveness, in the moment if at all possible. Having wise and mature parents and older adults around you at all times is also extremely helpful. Another help is reading the bible or other spiritual books that openly discuss the evils of harboring negative thoughts and feelings toward others.