OTHER VITAL ASPECTS FOR BEGINNING SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

By Lawrence Wilson, MD

© June 2010, The Center For Development

Basic factors needed for the development of the subtle human bodies and the reasons why this particular development is wonderful are described in more detail in the article entitled Spiritual Development. However, certain other factors or aspects are also quite important for development and are described below.

These include purification, self-discipline, a sense of adventure, spending time alone or in solitude in your home, developing unconditional self-love and separating the essential from the non-essential in your life. Additional factors that may be important in some cases include developing logical thinking, ability to take direction, staying out of fear and arrogance, avoiding victim thinking, and avoiding liberal concepts such as diversity, moral relativism, valuing music and art too much, sexual laxness or excess, homosexuality, hating God or other spiritual figures, and generally sloppy thinking. In addition, the end of this article describes about four things to avoid during this development process.

I have also mentioned some special considerations for women, and suggestions for raising children so they will be more receptive to development. Before beginning, I will briefly repeat the benefits of this type of development. They are much better health and longevity, a sharper mind, a better memory, greater resistance to all illness and even accidents, and the slow unfoldment of human abilities that most people will never realize.

PURIFICATION

A basic necessity for development today for most everyone is to purify the physical, emotional and even the astral or emotional body. In earlier times, one could just do a “cleanse” or a short fast and it would be over. This is not the case today. All the bodies contain excessive amounts of toxic metals, toxic chemicals, and infections. The emotional makeup and thinking of most people is also quite foul, thanks to the mass media, miseducation in the public schools, and modern reading material. In fact, the whole physical and emotional makeup of most people is hardly ready for development today.

Purification thus means a lengthy process that usually requires using a near infrared sauna and perhaps coffee enemas daily as well for at least 10 years, with most people. This may seem to be excessive, but so far this is what is required in most instances. Once one develops a routine, these procedures do not have to upset one’s day and can be rather enjoyable for many people as they also assist with restoring a high level of energy and health.

In addition, the drinking water needs to be pure spring or distilled water only, about three to four quarts daily. Other types of drinking water, so far, do not work nearly as well for most people. Be wary of alkaline water, reverse osmosis water and others. They do not further development, even if they claim to assist one’s health.

The diet, of course, needs cleaning up in almost all cases. The worst offenders are often sugars of all kinds, wheat, flour products of all kinds, and too many toxic food additives and chemicals that are found in most processed and prepared foods.

In addition, emotional control and reading the correct material will slowly heal the emotional wounds and correct the thinking. The programs of Mr. Glenn Beck and the meditation taught by Mr. Roy Masters are exceptionally helpful in this regard.

Nutritional supplements are also helpful, and in some cases absolutely needed to renourish the body properly. These, in our view, are best recommended based on a properly performed and correctly interpreted hair mineral analysis. However, the article on this website entitled The Healing Lifestyle offers some basics in this area and the others.

DISCIPLINE

Discipline and persistence mixed with great love and compassion for the real self or higher self are also critical. 

Recall that the word discipline derives from the same root as disciple, meaning to follow one’s path.  It is not a forced effort, as some make it seem.  Everyone must develop self-discipline, as no one is born disciplined. In fact, learning to develop excellent discipline is an important part of the entire process of spiritual development of the subtle bodies. Without a certain amount of self-discipline, the process of developing the bodies just will not happen very much or very fast.

Larger capacity to hold energy. Discipline does more than just train the mind . It actually increases the amount of spiritual or etheric energy the body can hold at once. This is another subtle benefit of disciplining the body, the mind and the spirit or emotions. Discipline also increases ones ability to receive energy and information from guides and other sources.   

BECOMING AN EXPLORER

Development of the subtle human bodies is not a well- accepted activity in Western cultures. In fact, it is quite unheard of, although it is stressed more in some Eastern and traditional cultures. Among these are the Jewish orthodox culture and groups such as the Amish. They teach humility, studying the bible and related texts, becoming a good provider and family man or woman, and other traits that will develop the etheric self to some degree. However, it is a crude way of doing it as they are not clear about all the details today, especially the importance of the diet and drinking water, as these considerations are newer ones and due to the widespread contamination of the air, water and food supplies, especially in the United States.

As a result, one must be willing to venture into the unknown with development. Not really, however, because most people are familiar with the process to some degree intuitively or for other reasons such as reading spiritual books.

As with any adventure, it can be a ‘rough ride’ and a ‘rollercoaster’, at times, when one begins to delve deep and undo old patterns of tension, stress and personality defense mechanisms.  One must have an attitude of wanting to just fasten the seat belt and enjoy the ride with its ups and downs. As development proceeds, the ride definitely becomes smoother, until when development is complete, the ride definitely calms down and becomes easier.

This is one reason that development often occurs most in those who are challenged in some way by their health, perhaps, or perhaps a difficult marriage. Indeed, challenges build character and they develop human beings. These challenges need not be life-threatening, although these are often the best ones.

For this reason, for example, most doctors who are successful in holistic work are those who were ill themselves and recovered using natural methods. They know what it takes, so to speak, to go the distance and stay with the self and its idiosyncrasies when things get rough. These individuals make the best teachers and are most likely to develop themselves the most. They may be gentle people, but they are toughened and don’t give up easily, as there will be some challenges with this type of development.

In fact, if the path is too easy, the student will not progress quite as fast. This is because the ego is not as challenged. So challenges and difficulties along the way can be helpful to a degree. For instance, in the Eastern tradition, the guru or teacher would often give the student a challenging assignment, perhaps even one that is silly, such as digging ditches and then filling them in. The idea was to create some conflict and hardship, and test the student’s resolve, perhaps, which is helpful, as long as it is not done so much that the student quits altogether.

The logical mind is very helpful. When difficulties arise, the logical mind is often the only thing that allows one to progress with development. The emotional mind is often fed up and perhaps quite fearful, and often ready to give up. Logic alone tells one that all is really well and just keep moving through “the valley of the shadow of death”, as King David of the bible expressed this phase of the journey. Others say it differently, but the thought is the same.

The point is that times will not always be fun on the path to development. If it were, millions would have taken the journey. As it is, few ever even begin it. Today, in the Western world, millions are starting, mostly to improve their health with dietary and exercise regimens, for example. Many of these are harmful. However, just following any regimen strictly is helpful to a degree.

TIME ALONE AT HOME ON A REGULAR BASIS

Another requirement for development, at least for a while, is some regular time alone. This does not mean one must live alone. Indeed, it is often easier and much safer for women, especially, when they have a roommate or partner. Spending time alone can be difficult in a family situation, but should be encouraged. Many people in Europe, for example, live in tiny apartments, which hinders the ability to be alone. Also, some families insist on doing everything together, which is also not helpful. However, spending regular time alone is usually a definite requirement for early development. Later, once the process is well underway, it is less important.

SPENDING TIME CHANGING ONE’S PERSPECTIVE

A Course In Miracles™ states that the best use of time is to change one’s perspective. This is an interesting observation, and a true one for those who wish to develop themselves. The need is usually to give up familiar activities, most of which are often just distractions. They might include a lot of shopping, visiting, speaking with or texting friends, vacationing, working in the yard or on the house, and so many other distractions that occupy most people’s lives.

One can also work on simplifying all of one’s activities, such as cooking, shopping and others. This can save a great deal of time, energy and money, which makes room in one’s life for more rest and sleep, contemplation, meditation, healing procedures and related tasks.

Other ways people waste time, from the perspective of development, is by working harder than they need to, by not wanting to work at all, and by spending too much time watching the television, or staring at computer screens for any reason.

UNCONDITIONAL SELF-LOVE

This requirement for development cannot be overestimated in its importance. One must love the self to death, so to speak. One must love one’s flaws, illnesses, symptoms, neuroses, fears and all else connected with it. Otherwise, when certain items come up for review, one may be unwilling to delve into them and move through them in order to transcend them.

This is a special type of self-appreciation or self-love. It is not about seeing the self as something grand or powerful or perfect, as so many affirmations would have one believe. It is about learning to see self as a mixture of the past events, traumas and experiences of one’s lifetime and perhaps past lifetimes and then letting it all go with no regrets or sadness, ultimately. It is also not about indulging the ego self or becoming too involved with one’s flaws and dramas. It is about learning to observe the lower self with its flaws and pitfalls, and compassionately let it all go.

This kind of self love must be learned by most people, as it is rare in society. Although babies love themselves, this is a largely unconscious type of love.  One must develop a conscious awareness of the value of the self, regardless of its achievements and its flaws, losses or “failures”. Of course, there are no failures in development, only trials and experiences along the way. But many people speak of their job or marriage failures, not realizing that all is in divine order, as some say.

Indeed, just because a job, a marriage or perhaps a project or business does not succeed as planned means very little. Perhaps it was unrealistic, and perhaps the loss saved your life or your savings. But even if savings were lost and life was compromised, it is for the best if it occurred. Otherwise one might be far less well along the way than one is today. This is how to turn around “failures” and realize they are just experiences along the way of life.

One must love oneself regardless of the work one does, the school performance, the intelligence, status, popularity, body shape or any other factor.  By doing so, a person breaks through the superficial self and comes to appreciate the essence of the real self, which is beyond all appearances.

SEPARATING THE ESSENTIAL FROM THE NON-ESSENTIAL

This is another important requirement for development that has been mentioned above, but is here repeated for emphasis. The basic idea is that each of us only has limited time for our lives. How one spends one’s time is thus the central question of life.

Developing the subtle human bodies, like all other activities, takes plenty of time. So everything must be fitted in or it simply won’t happen. Many people take on so much in their lives that no time is left for healing and development. This is truly a shame, as development, it will be found, is more important in most cases, than anything else. For example, development of the type I am talking about, causes:

· Release of karmic burdens and debts. This can save years of heartache, misery, disease, disability and more.

· Healing at the deepest levels of the body and mind.

· Finding one’s true gifts and talents in all areas of life.

· Connecting with the people who are one’s true ‘spiritual family’ rather than allowing oneself to become involved in karmic relationships that always cause trouble and even disease and death.

· Much more, such as unfoldment of advanced human abilities such as telepathy and others.

Everyone needs, therefore, to weight each decision, action and even every thought carefully to assess its tendency to move one ahead with development or just take up one’s time and energy. For example, living in a large house means bigger payments, more costs, more repairs, and so on. Living simply in a small, safe, quiet apartment, perhaps, or cottage frees up time, energy, money and more for development activities, provided the space is appropriate – quiet, safe, and clean.

Another example is that living in the city has its attractions such as a better job market, more people to meet and more movies and clubs to frequent. But it is usually less safe, noisier, dirtier and tends to foster a lifestyle that involves staying up late and not living as healthfully in most instances. Going out with friends feels very good for most people. However, are these friends ones whom you really care for and do they care for you just as much? Are you just trying to impress someone, or perhaps you have other ulterior motives? Is it the best use of your time? Are you going somewhere that is wholesome and will contribute to development, or are you just burning up gasoline, breathing smoky air, drinking alcoholic beverages that damage your health, and so on?

This is how one must think about everything - every purchase, every activity and even every thought. Some call this living consciously, though it is even more than this. It is learning to separate out that which is essential for development and that which subtly takes you away from the goal of spiritual development, no matter what other benefits it offers.

Development much easier today in some ways, but harder in others. Interestingly, we find that today, for development to occur, one needs mainly to live a healthful lifestyle and use a near infrared sauna. One need not do yoga, pray for hours or even meditate much. In fact, anyone can develop quite easily by following the guidelines in the book, Nutritional Balancing and Hair Mineral Analysis, or in the many articles about nutritional balancing on this website. No special practices are needed.

However, living a healthful life, for most people, is a problem for some people. One must eat well, sleep more, drink pure water and learn emotional control and a few other things. Today the problem is often all of the distractions that may have been less present in past generations. The television, the internet, the cell phones, the movies, books, CDs, ease of transportation to visit distant lands, and more can make prioritizing one’s life much harder than in the past, when fewer distractions were available.

Also, today material success is worshipped more than in the past, simply because it is attainable. This is good, but one must realize it is not what development is about. Often the more developed one becomes, the less important money becomes. To really develop, most people must not be spending all their time working, or thinking about their work or careers. One must instead focus on one’s own path, which doesn’t pay as well, at least not at first. Later on, one can become a teacher of others and this can pay well, in fact, because more and more people want this information and are willing to pay for a coach, a counselor or a nutritionist/doctor who will help them with it.

In summary, each person must realize that all one has is one’s time, and most of life’s activities do not further development, including most relationships, most jobs, and most family life. Important exceptions that sometimes occur include:

1. Mentoring relationships. These are ones in which someone ‘takes you under his wing’ and you open yourself to learning and caring about the other, without hope of anything more. This can be a person of either sex, any age, and even any health condition or situation. You might take care of the other, or the other might be a teacher, doctor, professor, friend, close or distant. None of that matters as long as one is learning and growing spiritually from the relationship. This is what counts.

2. Some jobs. The job must offer opportunities to take responsibility, to learn new skills, to serve others, enough financial reward so you can live comfortably. The job must also not wear you out, depress you or expose you to too many germs, or other negative life factors such as cynical people, for example.

3. Family life, under certain circumstances. The partners must be somewhat compatible and get along, and really want to assist each other. Children must be raised well enough that they are not simply a drag on one’s life. Partners need not be sexually active, as too much sex early in development retards it greatly. The only problem in families is that most people do not choose partners that carefully and even if they do, one does not know what one is embarking upon when one marries and especially when one has children.

4. Just thinking about which activities will cause development will result in some movement toward development. Be careful not to become obsessed, however by over-analyzing every action to see if it is helpful for development. Once you make a decision to go shopping or check the mail, for example, no need to worry if it was the right thing to do. Just note how you feel, perhaps. Movement toward development tends to bring up one’s issues and pull one out of one’s comfort zone. For this reason, it often does not feel all warm and fuzzy. If it does, most likely little movement occurred, though not always.

The main idea is to stop living like a programmed robot. Sadly, this is how most people live in the Western world, even if they seem like individuals. They all follow the leader, they all live similarly and most eat junk food, stay up too late, do not eat enough cooked vegetables, and waste much of their time, in terms of development.

The schools and media teach most people to just act on impulse, buy the fashionable products and services, eat as they wish, do what they want, and think superficially. This is called “living”. It is dying, I would say. Living is working on the mysterious process called development that will bring you to heights of health, wellbeing, happiness and more that are so far above where most people live that there is little comparison, when viewed from a healing perspective.

Young people and development. Most people, up until age 30 at least, have very little independent thought. Now and then one acts upon instincts, as they call it, or intuition. Most of the time, however, they follow the crowd. If everyone is going out, they want to go out. If everyone watches a movie, they want to watch a movie. This is childish herd behavior. However it is the reason that few young people develop at all until life forces them to think more. Rare is the one that has had enough trauma, usually, or something else that forces them to use their brain and really think deeply.

This is the reason that an economic recession, for example, is good for the spirit of the people, provided it does not defeat them totally. It can stop people from acting impulsively and teach them to plan, think and reflect.

Love and development. The bible states, “First seek the kingdom of heaven (within) and all else will be added thereto”. This very profound bible verse is telling us, I believe, to first seek for spiritual development within by following the suggestions in this article and others on this website. Then all of the outer benefits will be added, such as “love”, money, true friendship, knowledge and more.

Most people, of course, live the other way around, looking for love or money or a career first. I was fortunate to encounter a counselor when I was 29 years old who alerted me that I was doing it backwards, as he put it. He said I was living from the outside in, instead of from the inside out. It didn’t make much sense at first. Now that I understand about development – he called it movement – it makes perfect sense. The key is if you focus on development first, my experience, at least, is that all else will be added in good time and in the measure needed at that time.

OTHER FACTORS THAT MAY ASSIST DEVELOPMENT GREATLY

1. Develop logical thinking. This has been mentioned above, but requires expanding upon. Logic will keep you focused when distractions arise, and will keep you going when the emotions oppose change of any kind. Logic will enable you to understand what you are doing and why – and more.

Logical thinking, however, is much more than this. It means to be able to follow a train of thought to its conclusions, and be able to reason from beginning to end logically. Most people cannot do this. For a very simple example, most people cannot reason through that giving special rights to women or black people is discrimination just as much as giving preference to men or to white people.

Logical thinking is more than this. It means carrying your logic back to basic premises and checking these carefully. For example, socialists and communists somehow cannot see that their goal of equality for all is not consistent with the fact that if one is to control people’s behavior in any way, one must have a police force or some other method in which some people are “more equal than others” who are in charge. Therefore, the entire premise of communism, socialism and progressivism is a joke to anyone who can think back to basic premises and consider them logically.

2. Learn to take direction without defensiveness as much as possible. Development is not an instinctual process in almost all cases. Most people need to follow directions to the letter, and not stray far from the rules. This is very difficult for many people, and is a skill that is well worth practicing. Being raised by a disciplinarian is most helpful for this, in fact, as one learns to just take criticism without it causing too much of a reaction.

3. stay out of fear and arrogance. These feeling stop most people from progressing very far with development. Fear mainly arises when deeper traumas and emotional issues surface to be released. Not realizing what is happening, one assumes one is becoming mentally ill, dying, or that somehow the program is harming oneself. Arrogance arises if one believes one has “arrived’ and knows what is going on. Development is usually full of surprises. If it is too predictable, one is most likely fighting it at some level and not moving too fast.

4. Avoid all victim thinking and feelings. Development is extremely empowering. However, millions of people in the world are invested in being a victim in some manner or other. Some believe they are stupid, clumsy, ugly, poor, or no good in some other way. Such beliefs will hold you back and must be let go of. No one holds you back from development except yourself and your beliefs in victimhood, often.

5. Stay away from liberal concepts. This one is not always essential, but wrong thinking can hold one back. Examples of liberal values to watch out for include a belief in the value of superficial diversity, such as that based on skin color. Other examples are believing in moral relativism, valuing music and art too much, sexual laxness or excess, homosexuality, or hating the idea of God or guides. These concepts are subtle, but often lead people away from truth and they become stuck in various ideologies that take up one’s time and energy. This is not always the case, but it often occurs in my experience.

WHAT NOT TO DO TO ENHANCE DEVELOPMENT

1. Never believe you have “arrived”.  This is false.  It does not matter what you experience.  Even if you win the lottery, narrowly escape a fatal car crash, meet the partner of your dreams or anything else.  Believing you are already enlightened will stop your development like nothing else.

2. On the other hand, never become discouraged or believe you are unworthy of God’s total love or of developing your real self.  Discouragement stops most people from even beginning the pursuit of spiritual development.

3. Never expect support from old friends, family or anyone, for that matter. If you get support, that is excellent. But expecting support is a trap that stops many people from their path of development.

Most people will not and cannot understand this article and the idea of spiritual development. It is not that they are stupid or ignorant. They are just not ready. So I do not suggest trying to impose or “teach” your ideas to them, and do not expect them to support and embrace change and development in their lives or in yours. This is hard for many people to accept, but very essential to understand.

Development is very personal and private in this regard. It is not about anyone else, or about any group or association, although this website is basically an online community of sorts, of people who think alike and who do support each other in the effort to develop their subtle bodies and explore the concept of development. I serve as their spokesperson, but each is pursuing the same thing in their own way.

Note that I am not the only one saying these things. However, most spiritual groups and authors are pursuing something quite different, in my view. Most are interested in spiritual phenomena or symptoms of spirituality such as visions, talents, abilities and so on. This website is not interested in these things, though they will arise at times. Developing the subtle bodies today is far more about health and healing, and following a healthful lifestyle.

Also, many other spiritual groups offer stages and hierarchies, meaning they have their own standards of development that people must pass through. This is always a trap! Remember this. No one can tell you your next step in development. However, it will unfold if you continue eating well, resting well, taking supplements and detoxifying the body with saunas and coffee enemas, but not other methods. Group ‘steps to development’ is usually about power and control, and moving up in the organization. This is okay, but it is not the same as unfolding the subtle human bodies, which is a totally personal endeavor.

4. Never go off the deep end with this material. In the quest for “enlightenment” many, if not most people follow fad diets, join sexy groups, enter into poor quality relationships with gurus and teachers, join political movements or even believe that one must do various unpleasant maneuvers to develop oneself. None of this is helpful and most is very harmful and stops real development, which today is quite simple and may seem boring, in fact. Please be careful of “spiritual distractions” that are everywhere.

Among the most common ‘glamorous’ spiritual distractions I have seen are vegetarian or raw food diets, groups and gatherings that feel really good, but don’t really move one along, giving away your money to various causes and charities, leaving a good job or abandoning good friends and family to be with some guru, and maybe a few others.

If one is really developing spiritually, one ought to become a better friend, a better parent, and perhaps a better worker at a good job. If this is not happening, something is wrong. One ought to begin to have an easier time with the shortcomings of others, and become an easier person to live with.

5. Never attempt to shortcut the process of development with any type of odd practices, deprivations, group activities or indulgences. This is also common. People are told by unscrupulous or ill-informed teachers that special practices will speed the development process. Usually, this is totally untrue. If you find one, let me know and we will incorporate it into nutritional balancing science. Most such practices cause an unbalanced development. In some cases, one becomes so imbalanced that one may spend the rest of one’s life that way.

For example, practices that are dangerous today and discussed in other articles on this site in more detail include all fasting of more than a day or two. Others are vegetarian and particularly vegan diets. Another is eating only raw foods. Others involve yoga, tantra, unusual meditations and so on. Some of these worked well in the past, but today do not appear to work well at all. Books written about them 50 or 100 or 1000 years ago just do not seem to apply as well today.

Other practices to beware of include most retreats and seminars, most sweat lodge ceremonies, sleepless nights, 4 AM meditations, chanting and others. Even worse are satanic rituals, sexual indulgences, and drug use of any type, especially if unsupervised. Anyone who suggests any of the above as ways to speed up development of the subtle bodies is not well-informed and may be trying to control or harm you as well.

The methods in the paragraph above can have interesting effects, but that is all. This may seem overly harsh and restrictive, and rarely there are exceptions. However, most spiritual groups and activities just waste years of people’s lives. I was warned of this very early in my development in a very harsh way, similar to the way I am now writing it. I am most grateful for it, as it steered me away from many temptations over the years and continues to do so today.

The only extreme disciplines that are very helpful, in my experience, are to follow the dietary advice on this website, the idea of resting more, and the other suggestions that are part of nutritional balancing science. This seems to be all that is needed today for most people.

6. Do not substitute energy medicine for nutritional balancing science for the purpose of spiritual development. This is important today because so many machines and methods are available that promise to detoxify the body, open the mind, clear blockages, tune up the intuition and more. One can buy thousands of CDs, courses music programs, and more. All have benefits, but they will not do the same thing as nutritional balancing science, in my experience. If I find one that does, I will report it in this article.

This does not mean that a particular CD cannot help one go to sleep, for example, or even that a method can heal cancer. But this is different and merely symptomatic, though it could save a life.

Particularly avoid the ionic foot baths such as the Q2 and the Bio-cleanse. These are harmful if used often. Use caution with all other machines and energetic methods as well. They can produce amazing symptomatic results, but this is different than the development that is the subject of this article, in my experience. In the future, this will change, and I will report on it at that time. For now, it is not the case that I have noticed, and once again it can waste months or years of a person’s life, not to mention wasting money and the wasted effort as well.

I know this sounds harsh to those who do these practices, but I am convinced of the validity and I urge practitioners to at least realize that practices affect the body at various levels and great symptomatic results are not the same as development of the subtle bodies, an entirely different level of functioning. More on this topic is in the article entitled Energy Medicine.

7. Be wary of anyone who says he has “improved” on our process or regimens. If they truly have, ask if they have discussed the improvements with me. I am open and ready to improve this process. Everything has been checked and double-checked many times. So if someone is improving upon it, I would like to know about it so I can share it with you.

If a person has not shared it with me, either they are not sure about what they are doing or don’t want it shared, either of which is not healthful.

NOTES FOR WOMEN

Women are often ahead of men in spiritual development due to more hardships growing up such as more sexual molestation, more sexual innuendo from fathers and brothers, and other issues. However, women often do not continue to develop during adulthood. This might be due to emotional traumas from childhood. However, it appears to usually be because women tend to want to focus more on the physical world as adults than men.

This is part of women’s makeup, apparently, though I am not sure why. As a group, they seem to focus more on family, people and relationships. Men seem to have an easier time detaching from all worldly concerns in order to focus on development if they are so inclined. This could be a hormonally-related tendency, and of course, there are exceptions to this.

So, for women, you must learn to let go of your grown children, for example, your ex-partners if you divorce them, your brothers and sisters if they are not interested in your spiritual pursuits, and your parents when they age and die. Otherwise, these will hold you back. Also, you must let go of “friends” from the past who may be sweet and kind and hospitable, but are not interested in development of this kind, or not interested enough to be helpful. This advice applies to both men and women, of course, but particularly women in our experience. More on this topic is in an article on this website entitled Women Today.

RAISING CHILDREN WHO ARE RECEPTIVE TO DEVELOPMENT

The basic idea is to have a happy child, and one that is:

1.Self-disciplined

2. Responsible

3. Capable of logical thinking

4. Healthy in body and mind.

Achieving this, of course, depends upon the child, the child’s age, and stage of growth. Here are a few pointers for parents:

1. Don’t expect perfection.

2. Try not to compare your child with others, who may be ahead in some area. Each child is different, with different abilities.

3. Do not demand that a child eat perfectly, sleep the right amount and read the bible every day. However, the more and the earlier one begins with fairly strict discipline, correction and insistence upon the principles of development discussed in this article and the other on basic mental and spiritual development, the more the child will be ready as an adult to pursue the entire matter. This is the basic idea that should never be ignored. Laxness in raising children is almost the rule today, and it is the cause of many childhood problems.

4. Learning discipline is not about berating or scolding a child, most of the time. It is about reminding him over and over of the rules, and that rules are important because life has rules. One can either learn them at a young age, or flounder around and waste years, and possibly become ill or die because one does not know how life works. Sadly, most grow up without a clue and must flounder for years until they figure out what is important, who to listen to, who one’s true friends are, what sex and love really are, and so on.

5. You must model anything you wish to teach. By living the principles in this article and the other, you will automatically transmit the vibration of development to your children. This is really the only way to do it, ultimately. Just reminding a child to act a certain way if you are not doing it usually works poorly and is the real cause of rebellion. Many parents are afraid to discipline their children today. I believe a lot of this is because the parent is afraid to be disciplined and is somewhat rebellious. Letting go of your rebellious nature will help your children let go of theirs in a powerful way.

6. Preferably do not have children until one is firmly on the path of development. Wait if you have questions or issues to resolve, especially with a partner, so that the child is not pulled in different directions by immature or confused parents.

7. Use humor with children whenever possible, never get too serious, take the time to explain everything and answer millions of questions that all children have, and resolve your own issues so they don’t confuse things.

8. Of course, never bully a child with your physical strength, as this tends to cause resentment and rebellion. Instead, try to be playful as you teach and discipline.

9. Include children in your life as much as possible, and be open and honest with children at all times to encourage complete openness. Take the time to sit and talk with children. If your child is not the type who likes to just sit and talk, find times when the child is a “captive audience” , such as when sitting in the car on a long drive, or while sitting at dinner, perhaps, or perhaps on a bus, train or plane.

10. Children today need a lot of protection, especially if you live in a city or send your child to a public school, which I never recommend. Explain to your child that parents who really love them need to impose some rules for everyone’s good and protection. Protection involves things like early bedtimes, few “overnights”, parties and other occasions where you cannot control what goes on, early curfews for teens, chaperones for camping trips and late events, and other seemingly old-fashioned methods to keep children and young adults safe.

11. Observe your child for signs that he or she is being influenced too much by anyone other than you. This is very important. Beware of the influence of teachers, friends, parents of friends, other family members, and of course influences from television, movies, computers, etc. This cannot be emphasized enough. If possible, explain it carefully and peacefully that the mind is a precious thing and not to be wasted or distracted in negative ways. This is exactly like allowing weeds to sprout up and grow in your garden – it ruins the flowers. Children like to think in terms of flowers in many cases.

12. Intellectually, children need to read the classic books, and not just baby versions of them. They need the bible today, I maintain, as a moral compass. This does not mean shoving down their throat lots of rules and details of the scriptures. It means the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments in the Hebrew bible and the many good moral virtues and stories the bible contains as literature, mainly. The moral values are important, while the doctrine is good to question with children – did Jesus really live this way – and we are not so sure because the bible has been translated and translated and maybe one should question it.

13. Children like to question, so encourage that. But the reason for the moral emphasis is because liberal values are in the mainstream and children need a counterbalance that is never found in most schools today, so parents must teach it somehow. One can send a child to Sunday school, which is mixed because much of religion is fear-based and not conducive for children for this reason, so they may be turned off. The more schooling done at home, one on one, the better because of the disruptive influence of other children from homes in which the parents are ignorant, tired and ill, or unfortunately have bought into the liberal concept that schooling is for school and parents are just there to feed and clothe the child. This is pernicious and totally wrong, I would maintain.

14. Like any precious possession, parents should never turn over control of their children to any school, or teacher without close supervision.

15. One must closely monitor every child’s computer use, including emails, websites visited and more. Rarely, this is not needed, but in general I suggest not allowing a child to have an internet connection in the bedroom unless absolutely needed. Today’s new cell phones have internet connections so this kind of protection is becoming more difficult, but there are ways to block sites or even to block the entire internet.

16. Also monitor phone use, television viewing, video games, textbook use and of course the friends your child plays with. This is sad that so much effort must be placed here, but is needed because there is so much negative material available freely to children today, unlike the past. If possible, have computers where you can see them easily, such as in a family room. If it is in the child’s bedroom, explain that you reserve the right to check in at any time for the child’s own good and no other reason. If your child accuses you of spying on him or her, ask what he or she is hiding.

17. I suggest limiting all movies, even G rated ones. Most all of them portray a very loose sexual attitude today, and too much false values and false information is presented. Instead, there are hundreds of fabulous documentaries and movies available from libraries, the History Channel, Christian groups and elsewhere that can entertain and teach the child the truth instead of the pornography that passes as entertainment today. This may sound like wanting to live in the past century, and at times it is. However, it might save your child’s life someday.

18. Younger children should not have cell phones, in my view, though there might be exceptions. Hopefully, however, you do not need to leave your child alone, which is the only reason I can imagine giving a phone to a young child. Peer pressure here is a problem, I know.

19. Preferably join together with other families who think exactly as you do, to reduce peer pressure to have cell phones, needless electronic gadgets, free access to pornography on the web, discuss the latest movies that are trash, basically, and so on.

20. Social networking is basically a huge waste of children’s time today and should be limited. I would not recommend no social networking, but limiting it to maybe an hour daily or less, again with explanation of why it is not wise to spend your time basically just evesdropping on other people and putting your every photo on the internet for the world to see – a practice that is backfiring for more and more young people today as these photos can be doctored and used against one too easily.

21. Once again, the theme must be that we love you so much and care so much that we need to protect you, and it is our right and privilege to do so. It is not about limiting the child as much as it is protection and caring. I know this is a fine line and it won’t go over well with some children. So raising children in the 21^st century will be a struggle in this regard, but I don’t know an alternative.

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